


Lost Boy

by CaithyCat



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Mystery, Romance, Supernatural Elements, Tragedy, ghost au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-07-28 01:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 49,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20055856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaithyCat/pseuds/CaithyCat
Summary: When his family moves from San Francisco to the town of Shadyside, T.J. thought his life would change. And it did. He just didn’t think it would come in the form of the ghost of a boy who haunted his new bedroom.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is a new story that I thought of several months ago, but I ended up scrapping it because I didn't like the ending. Then, it came to me again recently and decided to give it another shot. 
> 
> There is some pretty serious stuff here so some trigger warnings: there are mentions of depression, self-harm, suicide, and death. But, I'm aiming to keep it as light and fluffy as possible. The chapters that have the warnings above will have them again.
> 
> I don’t know how frequently I’ll be able to update, but I am determined to see this story all the way through.
> 
> So, without further ado, here is “Lost Boy”.

_The room was shrouded in pitch blackness. The moonlight filtered in through the curtains but it only resolved to create frightening shapes on the floor and the walls._

_The apartment was silent but in the 6-year-old’s ears, there were whispers. A few days ago, the voice was welcomed. But, now, the voice scared him._

_“T.J….”_

_He refused to open his eyes, even if he had long ago covered himself from head to toe with his blanket._

_“T.J., play with me…”_

_He didn’t want to._

_“T.J., why won’t you play with me? I thought we were friends?”_

_She wasn’t real. She never was. He didn’t understand why she was still there._

_“Please don’t be scared of me.”_

_But, he was scared of her. He was scared of her._

_And of the woman in the long white dress who wouldn’t leave the church grounds. And of the old gardener in the empty house down the street. And of his grandmother who died a year ago but he could still find her sitting on her favorite armchair in the living room, trying to talk to him._

_The girl’s crying echoed in his ears and he slowly covered them with his hands._

_They weren’t real._

_They weren’t real._

_They weren’t real._

“Kids? Wake up. We’re here.”

And, just like that, the dream faded like a mist.

Slowly, the blonde 15-year-old opened his eyes, blinking as the early morning sunlight hit his vision. His neck ached from the uncomfortable position he had fallen asleep on and his legs felt stiff. Nonetheless, he forced himself to move, stretching.

On the other side of the passenger seat of their mom’s second-hand SUV, his older sister also began to stir, her long blonde hair in a messy knot above her head. She opened her eyes and blinked, unseeing, at him. Amber hated early mornings as much as he did.

In the driver’s seat, their mom was getting her purse together, muttering lists of things they needed under her breath. T.J. caught a whiff of eggs, bread, and hash browns and spotted the paper bag from McDonald’s on the front seat. She must have stopped to grab them breakfast on their way.

Turning in her seat, their mom locked them with a gaze. “I’m gonna go open the door and check to see if everything is in order, okay? You two can start unloading the boxes in the back and bring them in.”

“Okay, mom,” Amber replied, lazily.

T.J. just nodded.

Their mom got out of the car and made her way up the path to the empty two-story house. 

It was surrounded by a white picket fence. The walls were gray, the roof a dark navy blue, and the windows and pillars were painted white. Overall, it was a typical suburban home in a small town.

It was now their home.

“Do you think things will be better here?” Amber asked, sliding over next to him to also look at the house.

“I hope so,” T.J. replied.

He really wanted to believe it. He wanted to forget about San Francisco and everything associated with it.

He hoped Shadyside could give him the peace he had been wanting for so long. 


	2. Welcome Home

Boxes were stacked against every wall and on top of every surface. The rooms were still bare of much furniture since most were arriving in the moving truck the next day along with the rest of their clothes and things. 

They only brought the smaller necessities for the kitchen and bathroom and overnight bags.

T.J. dusted off his hands, looking around at what would become their living room. No couch or T.V., of course, but there was a coffee table as well as a large empty mahogany bookshelf left there by the previous owners. There was a nice fireplace in the corner, which they never had before and part of him looked forward to using it in the winter. Further in, there was a staircase that led upstairs to the bedrooms.

“Okay, these are the last of it.”

His mother entered with Amber in tow, both carrying boxes. They added them to the pile.

“So, kids, welcome to our new home. What do you think?”

Amber hummed. “It’s…big.”

“Are you sure we can afford this, Mom?” T.J. had to ask. “It doesn’t look cheap.”

Their mother, Stella, laughed. “Don’t you worry about that. This place was surprisingly decently-priced. Seems like the previous owners wanted to get rid of it as quickly as possible and I didn’t even have to negotiate.”

She waved them both over with both hands and the two teens moved into her open arms.

“I promised you both a better life and I meant it,” she said to them, warmly. “I know things weren’t easy back in San Francisco, but with this new job, we can finally have that. And it starts with this house.” She grinned at them both as she let them go. “You know… there are four bedrooms upstairs. The master bedroom is mine so the other three are yours for the picking.” She winked. “Go ahead.”

T.J. looked at Amber.

Amber looked at T.J.

Quick on his feet, he grabbed the nearest box labeled “T.J.’s things” and ran.

“No fair! Your legs are longer!” Amber shrieked.

T.J. didn’t stop, thanking his athleticism for allowing him to take the steps two at a time while carrying a heavy box without tripping. He could hear his sister struggling to keep up behind him.

“The master bedroom is the last door on the right so that one’s off the table!” their mother called after them.

Naturally, he reached the top of the stairs first. There were two bedrooms on each side. On the left hallway, there was a door closer to the stairs and one at the further end. An open door between the two revealed a bathroom. T.J. made to move for the closest bedroom door, but then… he paused.

He could feel a tug, like a rope was wrapped around him and an invisible force pulling him. He shouldn’t listen to it. He should ignore it.

Amber’s voice obnoxious “Ha!” reached his ears and before he knew what was happening, his sister had pushed past him.

“Hey!” he tried to protest, but it was too late.

Amber stuck her tongue out at him as she opened the door of the room he originally wanted and let herself in, shutting the door firmly behind her.

Letting out a frustrated huff, he considered taking the other room on the other hallway, next to his mother’s. But, then, he figured that it was high time for their mom to at least have a little space from both of them. So, leaving the room next to hers empty would give her the privacy she was deprived of back in their old apartment.

So, he made his way towards the door at the end of the hallway.

He entered the room, pausing at the doorway to take a quick look around.

It was a pretty large room, much larger than the one he and Amber shared back in San Francisco.

Naturally, the walls were white and bare. A full-sized bed with a mattress was already there, opposite the door and next to the very large window. A wooden desk was to his right, also bare and kind of dusty. And a dresser stood next to the closet.

Well, T.J. didn’t have much with him at the moment but it was a start. He could actually decorate this room the way he wanted, with posters of his favorite basketball players and rock bands, and not have them overlap with Amber’s wall butterflies and boy band posters. No more finding his sister’s makeup next to his hair gel.

He couldn’t wait!

Placing the box on the bed, he took another quick look around, imagining how it would look like. Posters on the walls, a basketball hoop on the door, and his CDs and stereo on the dresser.

He walked over to the window and peered out. 

His new room had a great view of the backyard. It was impeccably well-groomed despite the house being empty for months. He spied a few flower bushes – roses, daisies, and yellow flowers whose name he didn’t know. The previous owner must have liked gardening.

As he was wondering if he could convince their mom to let him build a treehouse, he heard his door opening and his sister saying, “Hey.”

He turned around to see Amber inspecting the room. “Nice,” she commented with an approving nod.

T.J. let out a chuckle. “Yeah,” he agreed, moving away from the window to sit on the bed. “I really like it.”

She sat next to him, still scanning the room.

Then, she whispered, “Do you see anything?”

T.J. scanned the room again. “No.”

Amber hummed. “Did you see anything around the house?”

“Not really. I didn’t pay attention.”

“Maybe there aren’t any around here.”

T.J. laughed without humor. “Ambs, wherever we go, they’re there. That’s just how it is. What matters is that they don’t know I can see them so they can leave me alone.”

Amber flashed him a worried look. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble again. Or get hurt. Teej, this new job is a big deal to Mom. And we’re finally living in an actual house. I just… don’t want that to get ruined.”

“I don’t either,” he snapped, feeling a little annoyed.

He knew Amber didn’t mean anything by it, but he could still feel the guilt itching at his chest. He had caused trouble without meaning to back in San Francisco. He had a notorious reputation for being a troublemaker and a rule-breaker. But, all he really wanted was some peace.

Amber reached out to squeeze his hand. “I know.” She smiled, lovingly, at him. “And I want things to be different here. Better. For all of us.”

“It will be,” he said, nodding. “I promise.”

She let out a loud sigh before flashing him a teasing smirk. “And who knows? Maybe you’ll finally find a boyfriend here.”

T.J. immediately pushed her away. “Shut up!”

Laughing, Amber got to her feet. “Anyway, Mom said we should finish up here so we can have breakfast. We haven’t eaten since last night.”

In all the excitement, he hadn’t realized how empty his stomach felt. 

“Okay. I’ll be down soon.”

As his sister left the room, T.J. turned back to his box of things. He had to grab the rest downstairs but this was a start.

He stood up and opened the box. Humming to himself, he took out the random stuff he had packed inside – CDs, books, the one trophy he won from the sixth-grade spelling bee, and some pictures frames – and laid them all out on the bed.

The books would go on his bookshelf that was arriving tomorrow with the rest of their furniture. The trophy could go on the dresser and once he found the nails and a hammer, he could hang up the frames on the wall.

All of a sudden, a cold chill settled over his room. A prickle on the back of his neck made him freeze as his throat went dry. His heart picked up its pace.

Oh no. He thought he was safe. He thought there wouldn’t be a problem. He had checked the room, for God’s sake!

“Oh, hello, who are you?”

Feeling a lump form in his throat, T.J. swallowed. He forced his hands to keep moving through his things, ignoring the voice.

“I guess Dad and Sharon finally managed to sell the house. Good for them!”

The voice sounded young. Maybe he wasn’t malevolent. As long as T.J. made no sign that he was aware of another presence, he would most likely just leave T.J. alone.

His hands shook as he stacked the books.

“Is that all of your things? That’s not a lot.”

The hairs on T.J.’s arm stood up as goosebumps formed as he gathered the books in his arms. Taking a subtle deep breath as he prepared himself, he turned around.

It was a boy. His hair was a dark brown, almost black, and his eyes were a deep brown. Sharp nose. Thick lips. A mole on his cheek. He wore a dark blue sweater, khakis, and navy-blue sneakers.

All in all, he looked like he was T.J.’s age when he died.

T.J. tried not to let his gaze linger as he walked past the ghost towards the desk. The books would have to go there for now.

“Ooohhh, you have the _Lord of the Ring_s trilogy! You, my friend, have excellent taste!”

T.J. ignored him, arranging the books just to give himself something to do.

“Hey, now that I’m looking up close, you’re kinda cute.”

T.J. dropped the book he was holding as his cheeks turned pink. He hoped that the ghost didn’t notice.

“Wait, you didn’t hear that, did you?”

T.J. held his tongue, quickly finishing up with the books and turning around to grab the CDs. He had to act as normal as possible.

Just his luck, the ghost was observant. Simply said, he was an annoying one.

T.J. could feel him following behind him.

“Can you see me?” the boy asked, sounding excited.

Swallowing the rising panic in his throat, T.J. grabbed his CDs. But, as he turned to walk back to the desk, the ghost’s face was suddenly in front of him. With a surprised yell, T.J. stepped back and dropped the CDs on the floor.

And, just like that, his cover was blown.

He tried to tamp the rising fear and panic threatening to take over him.

The ghost, however, looked absolutely thrilled. “You can see me, right?! Oh my god! You can see me! It’s been so long!”

T.J. opened his mouth but no words came out. His chest tightened and his head started to pound painfully. He couldn’t breathe all of a sudden.

The boy stepped back, beaming. “Oh, how rude of me. I didn’t even introduce myself.” He held out a hand. “Hi. I’m Cyrus.”

T.J.’s vision turned black and the boy in front of him disappeared.


	3. The Boy

_“T.J.! T.J.! Help me!”_

_“What did you do?!”_

_“She was mean to you!”_

_“She’s my sister! Amber!”_

_“T.J.! Help me! Help me! T.J.!”_

“T.J.?”

Familiar gentle fingers caressed his hair, stirring him to consciousness. He was lying down on something soft and comfortable, his head cradled by what could only be a pillow.

Slowly, T.J.’s eyes fluttered open, his vision adjusting to the sudden light and glimpses of flowing blonde hair. Amber’s bright blue eyes caught his own green ones, fraught with worry and relief.

“What… happened?” he croaked, his throat dry.

His sister breathed in relief. “I heard a noise and when I came in here, you were on the floor. You fainted, Teej. Mom said it must be the hunger. She just left to go to the store to grab some stuff for lunch, but she told me that if you woke up before she’s back, I need to feed you the McDonald’s.”

As the memory of what happened came back to him, T.J. couldn’t help but look around his room. His heartbeat began to pick up pace again, but there was nothing there. No one else but him and Amber. Yet, he knew they weren’t alone.

Picking up on his anxiety, Amber followed his gaze. “Was there… something?”

With the way she was suddenly holding on to his hand, she was scared. He could lie to her. Make her feel safe. No need to stir that paranoia that often took over her back in San Francisco.

But, he couldn’t lie to her.

“There was something,” he confessed, slowly sitting up on the bed. Amber reached out to help him. “A boy.”

He bit his lip, recalling the ghost’s bright disposition. He had introduced himself to T.J. But, T.J., already fraught with nerves and fear, failed to respond. 

“He didn’t seem bad. Kinda… friendly, actually.”

And kind of cute, but he chose not to voice that out loud.

“A friendly ghost? Like Casper?” Amber joked, despite the shaking fear in her tone.

“Cyrus,” T.J. replied, remembering. “His name is Cyrus.”

As if he heard him, the boy appeared in a shimmer behind Amber.

T.J.’s eyes widened.

The ghost – Cyrus – looked shy, almost unsure.

Noticing T.J.’s look, Amber subtly moved her eyes to look behind her. “Is he…”

Swallowing, T.J. nodded. “You don’t have to stay,” he said to her.

For all of her support in his abilities, Amber wasn’t fond of ghosts. She preferred not knowing that they were there. And for this very reason, she often wore a crucifix, even if they weren’t exactly a super religious family. But, it made her feel safe and T.J. would never tell her that they didn’t exactly work. He just kept the ghosts away from her as much as he could. And this was no different.

“I’ll come down in a bit,” he continued, patting her hand in reassurance.

She nodded before quickly standing up and rushing out of the room. She walked past Cyrus, who didn’t even blink an eye when her shoulder went through him.

When the door closed shut, T.J. curled himself up against the headboard.

“W-What do you want from me?” He failed to keep the nerves out of his tone.

The ghost scrunched his eyebrows. “Are you okay?” he asked, sounding soft and concerned. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.”

“I fainted because my blood sugar was low, not because I was scared of you,” T.J. bristled. “And let me ask you again. What do you want from me?”

Cyrus flashed him a confused look. “I… don’t want anything?”

Yeah right, as if T.J. believed him. 

“Ghosts always want something from me,” he seethed. “Once they find out I can see them, they have me do all sorts of stuff for them to help them move on or whatever. So, tell me what you want so you can finally leave.”

At that, the ghosts’ demeanor darkened. “I don’t want anything,” he insisted.

And, just like that, he disappeared.

T.J. was all alone once more.

* * *

Ten minutes later, he found himself seated at the kitchen island, chewing on a now cold egg and cheese on a croissant sandwich. Across from him, Amber happily finished the rest of the hash browns as she scrolled through her phone. Their mom was still at the store.

“So…” Amber broke the silence.

T.J. looked up. “So…?”

Amber cleared her throat. “What did the ghost want?”

T.J. was still pretty stumped about that. “He said he didn’t want anything.”

“And you believe it?”

“I don’t know, Ambs. Most ghosts that say they don’t want something from me usually ends up wanting something. And I’m just tired.” He sighed as he pushed the half-eaten sandwich away from him, suddenly losing his appetite. “I really don’t want to keep doing this.”

“Then why do you? You don’t have to. You’re not obligated to do any of it. You’re not some superhero, Teej. You’re just a kid.”

“Just a kid who can see things other people can’t,” T.J.’s tone was almost bitter.

It wasn’t fair. He already had dyscalculia. He was gay. And, then, he could see ghosts.

Why couldn’t he just be normal like everyone else?

Before Amber could respond, the kitchen door opened and in entered their mother, arms full with paper bags of groceries. When she saw T.J. sitting at the island, she immediately abandoned everything on the counter and rushed over to him.

“Are you okay, honey?” she asked, placing a hand over his forehead. “Are you sick? You passed out. Do I need to take you to a doctor?”

“Mom, I’m fine.” T.J. gently batted her hand away. “I just got dizzy, that’s all. I’m fine now. And I ate.”

He gestured to the sandwich.

Stella still looked worried as she stared at her son. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Sighing, she gave in. “Okay.” She returned to the groceries. “Have you two unpacked?”

“Mostly,” Amber replied. “Not like we had much to unpack begin with.”

Their mom hummed as she opened the fridge to put away the meat and vegetables.

“Well, after you two finish eating, why don’t you go out and explore the town? You can get some stuff for school while you’re at it.”

“Really?” Amber perked up and T.J. rolled his eyes.

Shopping was the one thing that could lift Amber’s mood. And their mother knew it.

“I’ll give you my credit card, but _do not _spend more than 30 dollars, each.”

“Yay! I’ll go shower and get changed!”

Amber jumped off her stool and practically skipped out of the kitchen.

T.J. chuckled and shook his head before picking up his sandwich again. As he chewed, he watched his mother finish putting away the groceries.

She sacrificed so much for him and Amber and he wished he didn’t give her so many headaches back in San Francisco. Fraternizing with the ghosts often got him trouble and his mom got the short end of the stick. If he could only pay her back for every instance she had to go to the Principal’s Office or pick him up at the police station. 

He swore to himself that she wouldn’t have the same trouble here. She got a great new job and this awesome new house (even if it had a ghost residence). He couldn’t ruin all of that.

“Hey, mom?”

“Hmmm?”

“About the people who lived here before… do you know them?”

His mother closed the fridge with a thoughtful look. “I didn’t meet them but the realtor mentioned them a few times. Uh… their name starts with a G… Uh… Go-something…” His mother pursed her lips, thinking. “Oh! Goodman! That’s the name. They were psychiatrists, I think. Why?”

T.J. shrugged, nonchalantly. “Just curious, I guess.” He tore off a piece of his sandwich. “Did they have a kid? Like, maybe my age?”

“That, I don’t know. The realtor told me they just wanted to sell the house as quickly as possible. Didn’t even care that they were selling for less than what the house is really worth.”

“Oh.”

“Why so interested?”

“No reason. Just curious, I guess.”

It was sort of starting to make sense to T.J. now.

If Cyrus had died in the house, then maybe his parents didn’t want to be reminded of it. Thus, they decided to sell the house, instead. He had heard of similar stories from other ghosts he had helped out.

“Hey.” His mother was right in front of him now, patting his hand. “I can tell you’re worried. And it’s okay. But, T.J., you can start over here. You can make new friends, join basketball, anything you want. The world is your oyster now, honey.”

He smiled at her. “Yeah.” He bit his lip. “I’m sorry, Mom. For all the stuff that happened back home. And I swear to you that I won’t get in trouble here. So you won’t have to show up at the police station every week to pick me up.”

Stella laughed, good-naturedly. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and ruffled his hair.

“That’s my boy. Now, go get ready. You can shower in the bathroom in my room. Hurry or your sister will have your head if you’re not done by the time she is.”

“So, I’ve got an hour.”

Stella laughed again and shooed him off.

Seeing his mom happy, it made T.J. even more determined to get his life together.

No more getting in trouble.

He would avoid all the ghosts he would come across so they wouldn’t bother him and make him do things.

And if the ghost in his bedroom decided he wanted something from him after all, he would refuse.

He was done.

* * *

The next day, T.J. barely thought about the ghost that haunted his bedroom. The rest of their stuff finally arrived and he and Amber spent the entire morning helping their mother arrange all the furniture. Then, they both retreated to their respective rooms to start unpacking the rest of their things.

With his clothes put away in the closet and dresser, his books arranged on the new bookshelf, his CDs in a stack next to his stereo on the dresser along with his spelling bee trophy, and the basketball hoop tacked on the back of his door, T.J. was ready to put up the picture frames. He had found the nails and hammer in one of the boxes and got right to work.

His stereo played a “Panic! At The Disco” CD as he hammered away.

When the nails were all in, he hung up the frames. There was one of him and Amber when they were kids, one of them with their mom, and one with their late grandmother. 

Part of him wondered if Nana had lived on a bit longer, would she have like the house?

“That one’s a little crooked.”

T.J. jumped ten feet into the air, almost dropping the last photo. He turned around to scowl at the boy standing behind him.

Cyrus was smiling as he made a little gesture with his hand. “Move it a little to the left.”

T.J. rarely ever took advice from a ghost – it only led to trouble. But, when he looked at the frame – _really_ looked at it – it did look kind of crooked. He fixed it and took a few steps back. Next thing he knew, he was right next to the ghost who was nodding in approval.

“It looks great,” Cyrus stated.

“Thanks.”

He looked at Cyrus. And Cyrus looked back at him for a moment or two before looking away and scanning the room.

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” he stated. “It doesn’t look like my room anymore.”

“This was your room?” T.J. couldn’t help but ask, watching as the ghost boy began walking around.

When ghosts walked, they look like they were almost gliding… weightless… even if their feet were planted firmly on the ground. And although normal people could walk through them and only feel a slight shiver (sort of like breeze), T.J. could touch them. He didn’t know why. He just always could. 

And, he was sure that if he touched any part of Cyrus right then, he would only feel coldness. T.J. could never forget the feeling of when he first hugged his grandmother’s ghost, how cold she was against his skin that goosebumps popped up.

“Yeah, it was,” Cyrus said. “I lived here before… you know.” He gestured at himself.

T.J. nodded.

Cyrus seemed harmless. So far.

T.J. still didn’t completely trust him but a little conversation wouldn’t hurt, right?

“So, Mr. I-See-Ghosts, how long have you been seeing dead people?” Cyrus asked, jokingly. “Do you feel like you’re in _The Sixth Sense_?”

For the first time since meeting him, T.J. laughed as he settled back on his bed. “Sometimes. I started seeing them when I was 6. After my grandmother died. She was the first ghost I saw.”

He remembered the joy he felt seeing her sitting on her favorite armchair. The confusion when his mother and Amber didn’t believe him. How scared he was when he realized what he was truly seeing. How he denied the existence of his abilities until he was eight.

T.J. shook the memories away from his head and turned his attention back to the curious ghost in front of him. “So… how long have you… uh…”

There was really no sensitive way to ask it. Thankfully, Cyrus knew what he was asking.

“About a year, I think,” he replied. “I haven’t really kept count. My dad and step-mom, they lived here. Then one day, they just up and left. And I’ve been alone ever since.”

T.J. nodded, feeling solemn at the sad story. It was never his favorite part of being able to see ghosts. Finding out how people died always put him in a somber mood but it was something he needed to know in order to help them.

Even though he swore to himself that he wouldn’t, the curiosity was killing him. So, really, he was only asking questions to satisfy that, he reasoned to himself. That didn’t mean he was going to help.

“So… why are you still here?” he asked.

Cyrus perched himself on top of the desk and began to swing his legs like a little kid at the playground.

“I don’t know, actually. People who die usually end up somewhere, right? I don’t even know why I’m still here.”

“Maybe you have unfinished business.”

“Unfinished business?” Cyrus tilted his head to the side.

T.J. tried not to think about how cute the action was. “Yeah. You know, things you were in the middle of that you never finished? Revenge on the person who killed you or ruined your life while you were alive? Justice on an unjustified death? That sorta thing.”

Cyrus laughed. “I know what you meant. And I’ve thought about them but, honestly, I can’t really think of what it could be. I was only 13 when I died. I didn’t exactly have a huge life goal I didn’t get to fulfill or revenge to enact or justice to achieve.” 

Now, that piqued T.J.’s curiosity. “How _did_ you die?”

Cyrus turned away, staring at the rolls of posters T.J. had left on the floor. “Not really something I want to talk about, if you don’t mind.”

That was an interesting change from the usual. Most ghosts didn’t seem to mind talking about their death. As if talking about it made them feel more inclined to accept it.

So, T.J. just nodded and said, “Okay.” He stood up and walked over to him. “Well, if we’re gonna be sharing the room, we might as well get along, right?”

Cyrus looked up and smiled. “Yes, that seems like the best thing to do. And, don’t worry, I don’t take up much space. And I’ll give you privacy, of course. So, if you need me to leave anytime, by all means, just let me know.”

Wow. A considerate ghost. That was a new one. The ghost at their old apartment wasn’t like that at all.

“Thanks. And, uh, so my sister gets really freaked out about ghosts watching her so do you mind not… you know… peeking on her or anything. Or my mom. Cause I’ll kick you to the curb if you do.”

Cyrus chuckled. “You don’t need to worry about that, trust me. You have my word as a non-corporeal spiritual being that I will never ever peek at your sister, your mom, or you.”

T.J. nodded. “Good.” He extended a hand to the ghost. “I’m T.J. Kippen.”

The boy took the hand and shook it, his touch cold and making T.J. shiver. “Nice to meet you, T.J. I’m Cyrus Goodman.”

Of course, T.J. already knew his name. But, he guessed politeness was just part of the boy’s personality.

Honestly, this was one of the strangest encounters T.J. had ever had with a ghost.

But, on the bright side, at least Cyrus was a cute ghost. Not that T.J. would ever tell him that.


	4. New Friends

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, T.J. turned to the left. Then the right. Then the front. 

Groaning, he pulled off the gray hoodie he was wearing and threw it across the room. It probably landed somewhere along with the other ones he had tried on. He, then, grabbed a blue-green one and put it on, doing the same routine of checking how he looked from all angles.

“I like that one,” chirped Cyrus from his favorite perch on the desk. “The color matches your eyes.”

The compliment made T.J. blush. “You think so?” he asked, ignoring the burning in his cheeks.

“Definitely! Trust me, I have an eye for these things. I was a fashion icon when I was alive!”

T.J. chuckled, adjusting his collar. “Okay, I trust you.”

“Ohhh, trust! A positive step forward in our relationship!”

T.J. snorted. 

What relationship? Sure, it had been a week since they met and have gotten used to each other’s presence. But, at the end of the day, they were still just a human and a ghost who happened to live in the same room. The blonde barely knew anything about him.

“So, are you excited for your first day of school?” Cyrus asked.

But, T.J. did learn he was incredibly chatty and overly curious.

“A little nervous,” he admitted. “It’s hard to make friends.”

“You can make friends with my friends.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Your… friends?”

Cyrus laughed. “My alive friends. They’re really nice! And the best friends you can ever ask for!”

T.J. walked over to his bed to put the rest of his new notebooks inside his backpack. “How do you know if we’re even going to the same schools?”

“Well, you’re going to Grant High, right?”

“Yeah.”

Cyrus smiled. “I was gonna go there, too. With them. You can’t miss them, they’re the kids with the really great hair.”

T.J. let out a chuckle. “Well, that narrows it down.” He slung the backpack over his shoulder. “Well, I’m off.”

Cyrus waved. “Have a great first day!”

“Thanks.”

With one last nod, T.J. stepped out of the room. When he briefly turned to close the door and caught a glimpse of the desk, Cyrus was gone.

* * *

The first day of school went as well as it possibly could. And by well, he meant that the moment he stepped through those doors, no one knew who he was so no one spoke to him. He got a few stares but no one approached, and he pretty much made his way to his locker by following people and using his eyes. He needed to check his locker number several times to make sure he got the right one and it took him a good five minutes just to open it. 

By the time he found his homeroom and got a seat, he was already exhausted… and school hadn’t even officially started!

When the bell rang and the homeroom teacher arrived, T.J. sat up as straight as he could and forced himself to listen. 

The teacher, who introduced herself as Mrs. Harris, welcomed them to their first year at Grant High School, talked about the rules and regulations, and then introduced a getting-to-know-you exercise with their seat neighbor.

They were to talk about three fun facts about themselves and then their partner would follow up with another three and keep going until they knew a lot about each other.

It was weird and kind of useless, where T.J. was concerned, because everyone was going to end up forming cliques anyway and probably not even talk to anyone else unless there was a dire need to do so.

Nonetheless, he turned his desk to face his seat neighbor – an Asian girl with a pixie haircut and wearing a very colorful headband. She smiled at T.J. in a friendly manner and he smiled back, politely.

“Hi, um, I’m T.J.,” he introduced himself, holding out a hand. “T.J. Kippen.”

The girl took his hand and shook it. “I’m Andi Mack. So…want me to start?”

“Sure.” He leaned back in his seat.

“So… I love making arts and crafts… I’m an only child… and… my favorite color is red.”

T.J. nodded. “Cool. Uh… I have an older sister… I play basketball… and I just moved here from San Francisco.”

“Really? That’s so awesome! How do you like it in Shadyside?”

“It’s pretty cool. Definitely different from San Francisco. I like it.”

“Have you had the chance to look around yet? Like, have you checked out The Spoon Diner? They have the best baby taters!”

And, just like that, their teacher’s exercise was thrown out of the window.

T.J. listened as Andi talked on and on about the town, about the places to eat, places to spend your extra time at (apparently, her dad owned a music store and people hung out there all the time, just trying out instruments or listening to old records), and a bit about the town’s history. 

She was perky and enthusiastic. He had no doubt Amber would get along well with her, if given the chance.

“We should hang out sometime!” Andi chirped.

T.J. wondered if he just made his first friend.

“Sure,” he agreed.

“So, which part of Shadyside do you live by? Maybe we’re neighbors.”

T.J. rattled off his new address, surprised and a little proud that he managed to remember without peeking at the slip of paper his mom had placed in his wallet for emergencies.

Andi’s smile fell. “You… live where the Goodmans used to live…”

It was more of a statement than a question.

T.J. nodded. “Yeah. The psychiatrists, right?”

“Psychologists,” Andi corrected, sounding dazed and far away now.

T.J. didn’t really know the difference but okay.

Meanwhile, Andi was starting to look kind of pale.

“Are you okay?” he asked, feeling concerned.

She shook her head and nodded before putting on a smile. “Yes, sorry. Caught off-guard.”

T.J. flashed her a questioning look but before he could ask further questions, Mrs. Harris called everyone’s attention to make another announcement.

He didn’t get to talk to Andi again for the rest of homeroom. But, when the bell rang to signal first period, she did give him a smile and a wave and told him to find her during lunch if he needed someone to sit with.

The rest of his morning classes went well. He met a few friendly kids in his classes who were curious about the new guy. He was all too happy to talk about San Francisco and how much Shadyside was already looking better than the big city he grew up in.

When it was time for lunch, instead of looking for Andi or some other kid to sit with, T.J. decided to head out to the courtyard. He sat on one of the picnic tables and ate alone. He preferred it that way. The nerves and anxiety that filled his body all day have all dissipated now but he still felt utterly exhausted.

At the end of the day, he was ready to throw his backpack down and nap for hours. On his way out, he spotted Andi standing at her locker, her hands moving in various gestures as she talked to a blonde-haired girl.

She saw T.J. and waved. He waved back.

He walked home alone. 

Amber didn’t join him since she wanted to stop by a Diner she saw was hiring – she wanted a job to help out their mom and T.J. was kind of considering it, too, but he had no desire to wait tables.

Cutting through the park, he calmly reflected on the day.

It wasn’t a terrible day. It wasn’t awesome, either. But, his mother was right. He could start over here. He had spotted some flyers for the basketball team on the bulletin board earlier, so he could try out. He could even join the school orchestra and put his mom’s piano lessons to use.

His musings were interrupted by the sight of a basketball court and felt himself perk up. Before he could register his own actions, his feet were already walking over. 

It was empty except for one African-American girl with curly hair. Pausing by one of the benches, he watched her dribble the ball around and shoot. The ball went in, flawlessly.

Impressive.

The girl chased after the ball and caught it. As she turned around, she caught sight of him, watching.

“Hey,” she greeted, breathing deeply.

“Hey,” he returned. “Nice shot.”

She beamed. “Thanks. You play?”

He shrugged. “A little.”

“Cool.” Smirking, she bounced the ball in his direction. “Come on.”

T.J. caught the ball and stared at it for a few seconds, not comprehending what was going on.

“What? Afraid you can’t beat a girl?” she taunted.

Oh. A challenge. T.J. could never resist those.

Dropping his backpack on the bench, he dribbled the ball a few times before running onto the court. The girl wasted no time chasing him, attempting to steal but T.J. dodged her. He took a shot and let out a cheer when it went right in.

The girl wasn’t one to be let down by one basket. She immediately ran forward, grabbed the ball and made her way towards the net. She shot the ball and it bounced once before going into the ring. She cheered for herself and flashed him a smirk.

He may have just met his match.

T.J. wasn’t sure how long their game went but, if he was honest, it was the best time he’s had in weeks!

Whenever he played basketball, he could forget everything else. Forget his dyscalculia. Forget his ability. Forget the ghosts in the surroundings. It was just him, the ball, and his opponent.

When they’ve had enough, T.J. lost by 5 points but he wasn’t even mad about it. Sure, he felt all sweaty and gross now but it was also rather refreshing.

“You’ve got game,” he complimented, making her grin.

“Thanks! You’re not bad yourself. Are you on a team?”

“Not yet. I’m thinking about trying out, though.”

“You should. Where do you go?”

“Grant.”

“No way! Me too! I’m planning on trying out for the girls’ team. In fact, I was the founder and captain of the Jefferson Middle School girl’s basketball team,” she boasted a little before tilting her head to the side. “I’ve never seen you around before, though.”

T.J. shrugged. “I’m new in town.”

The girl nodded. “Cool. Well, if you wanna hang out and play again, hit me up.” She extended a hand to him. “I’m Buffy.”

He took her hand to shake. “Buffy… like the vampire slayer?”

She rolled her eyes. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”

He chuckled. “I’m T.J. Just moved here from San Francisco.”

“Whoa, that’s a big change.”

He shrugged again. “Yeah, well, it is what it is.” His phone beeped and he took it out to see the time and a text from Amber, asking if he was on his way home. “I gotta go. Uh, thanks for the game.” He picked up his backpack. “I’ll see you around!”

The girl, Buffy, nodded with a smile. “See ya.”

T.J. turned on his heels and jogged all the way home, feeling cheerier than he did that morning.

* * *

With his hair washed and himself changed into a clean hoodie, T.J. busied himself with homework.

It was kind of mean of teachers to already give homework on the first day of school but what could he do? And just because he was dyscalculic and got into trouble a lot back in San Francisco didn’t mean he was dumb or had no regard for his education. Ghosts just wouldn’t leave him alone until he helped them and, sometimes, they would rudely interrupt his study sessions.

“Hey, Ghost Whisperer.”

Case in point.

He turned his head to look at Cyrus, perched on his desk. The boy was beaming, as he always was. 

T.J. wondered if there was ever a time when Cyrus didn’t smile. Then again, it didn’t really fit. Despite being dead, Cyrus was cheery and optimistic and T.J. had no doubt he had that same personality when he was alive.

“How was school?” the ghost continued.

T.J. put his pencil down and stretched. “Tiring. But, not bad. We already have homework, though.” He gestured at the open notebook in front of him. “I bet you don’t miss this.”

Cyrus laughed. “Not one bit,” he stated, peering at the numbers and calculations. He frowned and pointed. “You got this one wrong.”

T.J. looked down at it and huffed. “Of course, I did.” He pushed the notebook away. “They don’t have a tutor for me yet. So, I’m on my own for the week.”

Cyrus scrunched his eyebrows. “Why do you need a tutor?”

The question made T.J. turn away. He hated talking about it. He had made peace with it but that didn’t mean he was happy about it.

Again, he wished he was just normal.

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me,” Cyrus said, kindly. “But, I’m pretty good at math. I can help you for the week... if you want me to.”

Tempting. But, no, T.J. wasn’t about to ask help from a ghost. Even if they were good at math. How come a ghost got to be good at math but he couldn't do a simple equation?!

“Nah, I’m good,” he stated, closing his notebook and pushing it to the side. “I’ll do the rest later. I need a break.”

He got up from the desk, walked over to his bed, and flopped onto his back on top of it. He closed his eyes, pressing an arm over them.

For a while, it was silent.

And, then…

“Did you make any new friends?”

T.J. moved his arm and opened his eyes, ready to tell the ghost to leave him alone but paused.

Cyrus was sitting cross-legged next to him, smiling and looking excited to hear T.J.’s answer. He was practically vibrating with anticipation. And it occurred to T.J. that maybe Cyrus just needed someone to talk to. Maybe… he was lonely.

A lot of ghosts were lonely but sometimes, they had other ghosts to fall back on. T.J. had been looking around Shadyside for the past week and he did spot a few wandering spirits.

Letting out a breath, T.J. sat up and crossed his legs.

“I guess,” he started. “The other kids are nice. And I might join the basketball team. Sign-ups should start sometime this week and tryouts are next week.”

Cyrus’ eyes lit up. “Oohh, you know, one of my friends played basketball in middle school. In fact, she was the Captain! I used to make all these cool signs for her and I’d bring megaphones-.”

“Wait, you were friends with Buffy?”

Cyrus paused. “You met Buffy? How is she?”

The boy’s face was smiling but T.J. could clearly see the pain in those soft brown eyes. He missed her. He missed his friend.

“She seems good,” T.J. carefully answered. “She was playing basketball.”

Cyrus let out a breath. “That’s good.”

T.J. cleared his throat and tried to change the subject. “I met this cool girl in my homeroom. Her name is Andi. She was really nice and…” He paused again, seeing the fallen look back on Cyrus’ face. “Did you… know her?”

Cyrus smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah. She was my other best friend. Buffy and Andi… they were my best friends. We were the Good Hair Crew. Cause we had great hair. I was gonna make us t-shirts.”

“Oh.” T.J. felt his chest twitch in guilt, even though he didn’t mean to make Cyrus sad. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

Cyrus just shrugged. “It’s okay. I wanted you to meet my friends, anyway.” He bit his lip. “Did they look okay? Are they talking to each other?”

“Uh, I saw them at different times so I don’t know. But, they looked okay.” An image of Andi during homeroom floated in T.J.’s brain. “Though… now that I think about it, Andi did look kind of upset when I mentioned I lived here.”

Cyrus groaned, pulling his knees up to his chest before burying his head in his arms.

T.J. had never seen the ghost look this upset before. “Cyrus? What’s wrong”

“They’re still living with it…” Cyrus mumbled.

“Huh?”

Cyrus lifted his head, revealing sparkling sad eyes that couldn’t cry. “The g-guilt.” The ghost was shaking now. “They still feel guilty… they think it’s their fault that I… died.”

Thunderstruck, T.J. could only stare.

Cyrus told him he didn’t like talking about how he died. Yet, here he was now, sharing a little bit of it. 

He swallowed, his voice shaking as he asked, “Is it…?”

“Is it what?”

“Their fault?”

Instantly, Cyrus’ face turned angry. “No! Of course not! It’s…” He paused, swallowing. “It was an accident. It wasn’t their fault. But, they… they keep thinking it is…” He sighed. “They drifted apart after it happened. I was hoping that since a year has passed, they would move on and be friends again but… I guess I was too naïve to believe that.”

With a choked sob, Cyrus buried his face in his arms again.

His cries tore at T.J.’s heart.

And this was the kind of thing that often got him in trouble back in San Francisco. His empathy for ghosts. Feeling sorry for them as they cried and moaned about their deaths. This need he had inside him to help in any way he could because he was the only one with the ability to do so.

Slowly, he scooted over to the crying ghost. He gently wrapped an arm around him, trying not to shiver at the coldness of his skin. He rubbed his arm, hoping to bring him some comfort. The boy tensed in his hold for a moment before relaxing. His shoulder pressed up against T.J.’s side and the latter was really glad he was wearing a hoodie.

“I… I hate thinking about them not being friends because of me,” Cyrus cried.

T.J. pursed his lips. He couldn’t believe he was actually going to say it out loud.

“Maybe that’s your unfinished business.”

Cyrus’ cries stopped. He lifted his head from his arms so he could look at T.J., confused.

“My… unfinished business?” he questioned, his eyes wide.

They looked almost doe-like. And his mole only made him look even cuter.

T.J.’s throat went dry at that sudden thought. He decided to ignore it in favor of nodding.

“Yeah, you want your friends to stop feeling guilty and go back to being friends with each other, right?”

Cyrus nodded. “Y-Yes. I do. But, how do I that? I’m a ghost. They can’t see me. And contrary to what the movies say, I can’t just haunt their dreams or write them a message on a mirror. Well, I could do the latter but that would probably give them a heart attack and I don’t want to do that and it’s so poltergeist that I-.”

“Cyrus,” T.J. interrupted his rambling. “I’ll help you.”

Cyrus’ mouth fell open, slightly. “I’m sorry, what?”

T.J. sighed before offering a smile and spoke before he could change his mind. 

“I’ll help you, okay? I’ll make sure you fulfill your unfinished business so you can move on.”


	5. The Past

David Bowie’s “Changes” was playing loudly from the speakers. The Red Rooster wasn’t quite as crowded since it was a weekday, just a couple of adults examining the instruments and a few kids browsing through the stuff or playing with the instruments.

Bobbing his head along to the music, T.J. flipped through the records nonchalantly. On the opposite side of the rack, Andi was prattling on and on about Art Club and all her ideas to contribute. T.J. had to smile at her enthusiasm – the girl had a way of easing his tension.

Cyrus was right about her – she was a sweet one.

“So, how’s adjusting to Shadyside life?” she randomly asked. “Have you fully embraced our little town?”

T.J. hummed. “A small town has pros and cons.”

“What’s a pro?”

“Everyone knows everyone so we’ve had a new visitor almost everyday, welcoming us to the neighborhood and bringing food. Mom has taken a break from cooking.”

“That sounds nice! And a con?”

T.J. made a face. “Everyone knows everyone.”

Andi laughed, shaking her head. “You get used to it. I’ve lived here my whole life.”

She didn’t realize it but it was the opening T.J. needed. “So…you’ve probably grown up with almost everyone at Grant, then?”

“Pretty much.”

“So…who else do you hang out with? Aside from Libby and Walker.”

Libby and Walker were Andi’s art club friends – she introduced them to T.J. a few days ago. Libby was deaf but, like Andi, she could make headbands, jewelry, and clothing out of anything she could get her hands on. Meanwhile, Walker was a happy-go-lucky painter and caricaturist.

The three of them together were a walking art machine. So, it made T.J. wonder where Buffy and Cyrus fell in before the latter passed away.

“Jonah Beck and I hang out sometimes,” she casually stated.

T.J. knew him – he was in his English class. He was a pretty dude, but not really T.J.’s type.

“And…” she trailed off, her earlier beaming smile turning sad.

“And?” T.J. prodded, hoping he wasn’t being too annoying.

Andi cleared her throat. “And there’s my best friend Buffy.” She didn’t mention Cyrus, at all. “But we haven’t really hung out in a while. She’s been busy pursuing other things and so have I.”

“Oh, okay.” T.J. racked his brains for something else to say. “Oh yeah, tomorrow is basketball tryouts. Honestly, I’m kinda nervous.”

Andi flashed him an encouraging smile. “I’m sure you’ll do great!”

“Uh… do you want to come and watch? For moral support? I could use it.”

Sure, he could always ask Amber but he needed Andi there. It was important.

Without missing a beat, Andi nodded. “Sure! I’ll be there!”

“Great! Thanks, Andi. That means a lot.”

“Anytime!” She looked down and grinned. Pulling out a Cyndi Lauper record, she covered her face with it. “Do I look like a girl who just wants to have fun?”

T.J. laughed. “Totally.”

* * *

T.J. felt him before he heard him.

“Hey, Sixth Sense.”

Chuckling as he looked up from his homework. “I think you’re running out of nicknames, Ghost Boy.”

Cyrus beamed from where he sat, perched on T.J.’s desk, as always. Thus, the latter had chosen to do his homework on his bed, instead.

“So, how was your day?” the ghost asked.

“Pretty good. I hung out with your friend Andi after school. She’s fun.”

“Told ya!”

He answered the last question on his History homework before shutting his notebook and textbook and moving them to the side. He locked gazes with Cyrus.

“Where do you go when you’re not here?” T.J. asked, curiously.

“Oh. Just around.”

A simple and straightforward answer. But, it still left a lot of questions.

T.J. raised an eyebrow. “We’ve been living together for pretty much two weeks now. You can drop the whole mysterious act.”

“Maybe I wanna keep on being mysterious,” Cyrus replied, looking smug.

T.J. opened his mouth to answer but a knock on his door interrupted.

“It’s open!” he called out.

The door cracked a smidge and Amber poked her pretty blonde head in. 

“Are you talking to someone in here?” she asked, eyebrow raised.

T.J. flashed a look at where Cyrus was before meeting his sister’s eyes.

She turned pale. “Oh.”

Even though he had already explained to her that Cyrus was a good ghost and had no intention of hurting her, she still wasn’t fond of the idea of there being a ghost in their house, at all. She rarely ever went to T.J.’s room because of this.

“Well… uh… Mom will probably be home soon and if she hears you talking to yourself, she’ll think you’ve gone nuts.”

T.J. hummed. “Pretty sure we’re past that.”

“T.J.,” Amber seethed. “She thought you were doing _drugs_ when she saw you talking to yourself last year!”

“And I told her I’m clean now.”

“You never did drugs to begin with!”

T.J. spared a look in Cyrus’ direction just to see his eyes wide in rapt attention.

Great. He was definitely going to get questions now. Maybe he could distract him. The boy was easily distracted by one thing or another. He was probably the type who never held grudges when he was alive.

“Look, the walls here are not paper thin like the apartment,” T.J. explained. “So, there’s no way she’ll hear. And her room is on the other side of the house. I’ll be fine. And I’m careful.”

Amber still didn’t look convinced but nonetheless, she nodded. Taking one last nervous look around the room, she swallowed.

“Okay, I’m gonna go back to my room. And… make sure it doesn’t follow me?”

Cyrus laughed and shook his head. “Tell her I have no intention of doing so. I’m a gentleman.”

T.J.’s lips twitched. “He won’t follow you. Don’t worry.”

Amber nodded again before quickly pulling her head back and closing the door.

“Your sister is very… paranoid,” Cyrus stated.

T.J. sighed. “She doesn’t have the best experience with ghosts.”

Cyrus nodded, sympathetically. “That bad, huh?”

“Yeah…”

“Do you mind me asking what happened?”

He was about to say “no” but paused, considering the idea.

No one else knew about the story – only him and Amber. He knew she still had nightmares about it. That memory would even make its way into his dreams and he would wake up sweating with his heart thumping so hard that it hurt. Always – for a brief moment – he would be back in that room in their apartment in San Francisco.

Cyrus was suddenly gone from the desk.

“I was raised by four psychologists,” his voice spoke right next to T.J. 

The blonde almost jumped ten feet into the air. “Dude! You’ve got to stop doing that! Just walk towards me!”

Cyrus laughed. “Sorry! I haven’t considered that you might be startled by that. I’m just so used to doing it and no one really reacting. But, I’ll try to stop, I promise.”

T.J. huffed. “You better. What if I get a heart attack and drop dead right here? I’ll haunt you forever.”

“We’ll be ghost buddies, then! Together for all eternity!”

T.J.’s cheeks burned and his heart skipped a beat. That was not the answer he expected. 

Cyrus’ laugh diminished to a soft smile. “You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. But, it might make you feel better. And, like I said, I was raised by four psychologists. Well, three psychologists and a life coach, but same deal. So, I’m a pretty good listener. I’m here if you need me.”

It was kind of funny how Cyrus could go from extremely comical to touchingly sweet, all in a span of ten seconds.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it.” T.J. scraped his nails against one jean-covered knee. “It’s just not the most pleasant memory. And only Amber and I really know about it. Mom…she doesn’t know everything that happened. She doesn’t know about my abilities, at all, and…”

“That’s why she thought you were doing drugs?”

T.J. let out a chuckle devoid of humor. “I should have been more vigilant.” He let out a deep breath. “Anyway… what happened… well… Remember when I told you I started seeing my grandma’s ghost when I was 6?”

Cyrus nodded.

“Well, she wasn’t the only ghost in our apartment.”

The image of a little girl, her hair in pigtails and wearing a long pink dress, floated in his mind.

“Her name was Emily. She was around 6 when she died. Probably why she latched on to me because we were the same age. I didn’t mind playing with her and all. And she was kinda fun.” He chuckled. “Mom thought I had an imaginary friend.”

He was silent for a moment, recalling every moment with Emily. Meeting her. Agreeing to be her friend. Playing with her. Being happy that he had a secret friend that no one else knew about.

“Amber is only a year older than me, so it’s normal for us to get into fights. We fought a lot when we were kids. And, Emily… she didn’t like that. She was really protective of me.”

“O-Oh…” Cyrus’ voice was shaky but he was paying close attention.

T.J. let out another breath.

“Well, one day, Amber and I were fighting. I don’t even remember what the fight was about but she was really mad. And when Amber was mad, she got physical. She pushed me and tried to pull all my hair out. After mom broke up the fight, she put us in different rooms. I was in the living room and Amber was in our bedroom.”

He swallowed as he tried to steady his shaking hands.

“I was watching T.V. when I heard Amber scream. At first, I thought she just saw a bug or something and I didn’t really bother to check for a while. Then… she called for me.”

_“T.J.! T.J.! Help me!”_

“I ran into the room and I saw her... dangling out the window. She said she fell but… I saw Emily next to the window, just watching her and...smiling”

_“What did you do?!”_

_“She was mean to you!”_

_“She’s my sister! Amber!”_

“I tried to pull her up but I was only 6. I thought she was going to fall.”

“Oh my god…” Cyrus whispered, looking horrified.

T.J. bit his lip.

_“T.J.! Help me! Help me! T.J.!”_

“Luckily, mom came back from the laundry room and saw us. She pulled Amber in. She wouldn’t stop crying. And Emily was angry that it didn’t go the way she wanted. That was the first time I saw her like that. So… sinister and malevolent.”

“So… you told Amber about Emily?” Cyrus asked.

“Not at first. I wanted to keep it to myself. But, she kept asking me who I was talking to, wouldn’t stop annoying me. She even threatened to throw my basketball out the window. So, I finally did. She didn’t believe me at first, called me a liar and everything. But, then, Emily started playing pranks on her. She would take Amber’s toys and move them. She would pull on Amber’s hair. Once she…” He swallowed. “She dunked her head under the water while Amber was taking a bath.”

“Oh my god,” Cyrus repeated.

“After the bathtub incident, Amber finally believed me. She refused to sleep in our room. It came to the point where she would cry and throw tantrums until Mom finally swapped rooms with us. And I was mad at Emily. Yelled at her until I cried. So…ever since, I was afraid of her and every ghost I saw. I pretended I didn’t see them and I started ignoring Emily and my grandma.”

His Nana wasn’t happy, he often caught her looking sad when he would ignore her. She had tried talking to him but he would leave the room or stick headphones in his ears so he wouldn’t have to listen.

“I only started helping ghosts when I turned 8,” T.J. continued. “My grandma…once I finally decided to start talking to her again… she told me it was an inherited ability. She had it and her mom and grandfather had it. It skips a generation now and then so mom didn’t inherit it. Neither did Amber. But…I did. Lucky me, I guess? And then… Nana disappeared. She had moved on. Her unfinished business was to tell me the truth. I just never gave her the chance until then.”

Meanwhile, the ghost girl, Emily… she was devastated that she had lost her only friend. She had tried to apologize but T.J. never really forgave her, especially when Amber started getting nightmares.

She never blamed him for what happened. But, T.J. did. That was why he resolved to protect his sister as much as he could.

Letting out a staggered breath, he tried holding back tears. “Sorry… that was a lot to dump on you.” He let out a humorless laugh. “But… you’re right… it kind of made me feel better.” He smiled, lightly. “Thanks.”

Cyrus returned the smile. “You’re welcome,” he replied.

Silence fell over them.

T.J. drummed his fingers against his knee. Amber didn’t want to be reminded of what happened so they pretended it never did. He thought he was over it. Maybe he truly wasn’t. 

But, the heaviness in his chest had lifted a little. It felt good talking about it, a release he never knew he needed.

Cyrus’ hands were clasped together on his lap, biting his lip. He seemed to be contemplating something.

“Um…I just walk around town, visiting places I used to frequent. Sometimes, I go see my parents. They moved somewhere else but they’re still in town. I guess the house, this house and the other one, reminded them too much of me. I’m their only son, you see. So...my loss must have been too much for them.”

T.J. stared.

Cyrus shrugged. “You asked me earlier where I go when I’m not here. I figured since you shared something with me, I could share something with you. So, I guess we’re both a little less mysterious now. Too bad, I was going to look out the window and look distant.”

Laughter exploded out of T.J.’s mouth – a genuine laugh, this time. He felt lighter, somehow. Maybe Cyrus wasn’t a ghost. Maybe he was a magician or a wizard or something. 

How did he manage to relieve T.J. of his burden for the last eight or so years of his life with just a few words?

Cyrus flashed him a weirded out look, his fuzzy eyebrows scrunched.

He looked like a cute puppy.

Clearing his throat, T.J. scooted a few inches away from Cyrus.

“So, I have a plan for your friends.”

The sudden change in subject appeared to confuse the ghost but he went along with it.

“I’m listening.”

“So, tomorrow is basketball tryouts, right? Well, turns out both the boys and girls teams are doing it together. And Buffy told me she was trying out. So, I asked Andi to come and watch. They are likely to run into each other and since they don’t know that I know the other, I’m bound to try and ‘introduce’ them, only for them to tell me they already know each other and then they’ll start talking again.”

Cyrus looked impressed. “Your plan is so simple yet it could actually work.”

T.J. beamed. “Right? I’m a genius!”

The other boy chuckled. “Thank you, T.J. You didn’t have to do this for me and yet you are. I’ll forever be in your debt.”

Feeling his cheeks redden, T.J. just waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s no big deal. This is nothing compared to what I’ve done for other ghosts. You just want your friends to get along again.”

“Yeah. They’re just… really important to me. And I don’t want to move on without them getting along again.”

Cyrus’ demeanor deflated a little. T.J. noticed that it happened often when they spoke about his friends. But, if they are Cyrus’ unfinished business, then there was no avoiding talking about it.

He really loved his friends. And based on Andi’s sadness when something seemed to remind her of Cyrus, it appeared that they must have loved him a lot, too.

And, then, T.J. wondered what it was like when Cyrus was alive. After getting to know him, T.J. knew that he was the type of person who didn’t deserve to die. He deserved to live and spread love and joy everywhere he went.

What if T.J.’s family had moved just a year earlier? What if he had met Cyrus and became his friend? What if he could have somehow helped prevent him from dying?

The last thought was a little far-fetched. He didn’t even know how Cyrus died. He wouldn’t tell T.J.

There were just some things in this world that could not be controlled, no matter how much you want to.

Still, T.J. couldn’t help but wonder.

“Do you ever think about…” he began.

He met Cyrus’ questioning eyes.

“You know…” he continued. He coughed a little and cleared his throat. “If you were alive, right now, do you think… we could have been friends, too?”

“Of course!” Cyrus beamed. “No doubt about it! I mean…” He chewed on his bottom lip, looking shy all of a sudden. “We’re friends now, right?”

Sparkling brown eyes peeked worriedly at him from under long lashes.

T.J.’s heart suddenly picked up pace as his throat went dry and his palms got all sweaty.

“Yeah… We’re friends,” he managed, his lips twitching.

Cyrus breathed in relief.

Getting to his feet, T.J. stretched. “So… do you wanna watch a movie or something? I have Netflix.”

“Don’t you have to finish your homework?”

He walked over to his desk where he left his laptop. “I can do it later.”

“T.J.” Cyrus’ tone was scolding.

“Cyrus,” T.J. retorted, teasingly.

The ghost boy looked torn, chewing on his lip as he looked from T.J.’s abandoned books and notebooks on the bed to the laptop and then back to the stuff on the bed.

“I promise to do it tonight. I’ll even let you check my answers, if you want.”

That seemed to set Cyrus’ mind. “Okay.”

Grinning that he got his way, T.J. picked up his laptop and went back to his bed. He settled against the headboard, pushing books, notebooks, and pens aside. He patted the space next to him and Cyrus disappeared and reappeared next to him (he was prepared this time so he didn’t even flinch).

He opened up Netflix and scrolled through the choices. “What do you want to watch?”

“Anything is fine. You pick.”

T.J. was in the mood for seeing animated and fun so he chose “Big Hero 6”. For the hour and a half or so, they were silent as they concentrated on the movie. Cyrus did cry a bit loudly at the beginning during the school fire scene (T.J. had wrapped an arm around him and rubbed his shoulder until the scene passed), but otherwise, neither of them spoke a word.

It was nice.

Back in San Francisco, T.J. never got to have a movie night with his friends. If you could even call them friends, that is. They were just people he hung out with at school but never really had a deep friendship with. He mostly stuck with Amber (to his sister’s chagrin) or spent his free time by himself. A few ghosts have tried to befriend him but, usually, they had ulterior motives.

After dinner, he fulfilled his promise to Cyrus by sitting at his desk and doing his homework.

The ghost entertained himself by playing with T.J.’s little plastic basketball, attempting to shoot at the net on the door from various angles. 

It was adorable, really. And, kind of distracting.

“Need help with that?” T.J. asked, amused as the plastic ball bounced off the edge for the tenth time.

“No, I got this,” Cyrus replied, stubbornly. “You finish your homework.”

T.J. chuckled. “Yes, mom.”

The ghost childishly stuck his tongue out at him before returning to his little game.

T.J. turned his attention back on his homework.

The rest of the night was peaceful.

It was nice.

* * *

T.J. was among ten other boys trying out for the boys’ basketball team. 

As he warmed up with a few dribbles, he kept his gaze on the girls gathered on the opposite side of the gym, trying to spot a familiar head of curls.

“T.J.!”

His head spun around at the call. 

Andi and Libby were standing by the bleachers, waving at him, both sporting matching grins. T.J. waved back and watched as the two girls made their way up to find seats. He went back to dribbling, still keeping his eye out for Buffy.

He didn’t have to wait long. The doors to the locker room opened and out she came, head held high with confidence. Beside her was a brunette boy, talking as he nudged her shoulder. Laughing, she nudged back at him.

T.J. watched fascinated as the two appeared to banter back and forth before they split – the boy heading towards the boys’ side and Buffy for the girls’.

The blonde looked up at the bleachers again to see if Andi had noticed Buffy. The pixie-haired girl was distractedly conversing with Libby.

Good. He could make this work, somehow. He just had to figure out how to get them to talk to each other.

A whistle blew and he pulled his attention away from the two girls. The coaches were calling everyone over.

It was showtime.


	6. Learning New Things

Sweat rolled off his back and forehead while his lungs burned from the exertion. Every muscle in his body was tight and ached. And his cheeks were red and heated.

It felt _good_.

A whistle rang in his ears just as he caught the ball passed on to him.

“Alright! Ten-minute break and we’ll dive right into a mock play!” announced the Coach.

T.J. tossed the ball into the nearby cart, gave Buffy’s friend (a guy named Marty) who was his partner for the drill a fist bump, and headed for one of the benches by the bleachers where he left his bag. He rummaged around for his water bottle and took a generous gulp. The cold water soothed his throat, cooling him down.

“Hey, T.J.! Great job out there!” Andi had come down from the bleachers, Libby behind her.

He smiled at her. “Thanks. You think I’ll make it?”

Libby made a few signs in ASL. Unfortunately, T.J. wasn’t familiar with it yet but Andi or Walker often interpreted for him.

“Libby says they’ll be crazy not to let you in! And I agree with her! You’re a natural!” Andi grinned

“Thanks, guys. That means a lot.”

He turned his head to see what the others were doing and spotted Buffy talking to Marty nearby.

Perfect.

He lifted a hand and made his voice as loud as possible. “Buffy! Hey!”

The curly-haired girl turned her head, catching sight of him. She waved back and jogged over, the brunette boy following behind her.

“’Sup, Kippen?” she grinned. “You really gave Marty a run for his money!”

“Hey! He has longer legs so he’s naturally faster!” the boy protested.

T.J. laughed and turned to Andi, whose smile had dropped slightly. He pretended not to notice and gestured to her.

“This is Andi and Libby, by the way. Andi and Libby, this is Buffy. And Marty.”

“From the party,” Andi blurted out before blushing. “Sorry, force of habit.”

Nonetheless, Marty laughed and Buffy’s lips twitched in amusement. T.J. wondered what the story behind that was.

Andi managed a small smile as she turned her attention to Buffy. “Hi, Buffy.”

Buffy returned the smile, rather sadly. “Hi, Andi.”

He could practically feel the tense electricity in the air. Even Libby looked a little awkward, her gaze moving from Andi to Buffy and back to Andi.

T.J. pretended to look confused. “You, guys, know each other? Oh, wait, Andi. This is the Buffy you were talking about?”

“Well, there’s no one else at this school named after a famous vampire slayer,” Buffy joked.

It made everyone laugh and, for a moment, the atmosphere was a little less tense. From the outside looking in, they probably looked like a group of good friends.

If only that were truly the case.

When the laughter died down, the awkwardness returned. Andi and Buffy couldn’t look at each other in the eye. Libby was staring at Andi, her hands twitching like she desperately wanted to say something. And Marty kept his gaze on the floor, though his arm made its way over Buffy’s shoulder.

“Well, this is great!” T.J. forced perkiness into his tone, cringing at how fake he sounded. “We should all hang out! After tryouts? We can go to The Spoon.”

He grinned expectantly at everyone, even showed some teeth. If Cyrus could see him now, the ghost would no doubt laugh in his face because he was clearly trying too hard.

Instead of the enthusiastic agreement that he was hoping for, the tension only grew. Buffy looked a little hopeful but still, she didn’t say a word.

“Um, Libby and I are actually helping Walker with a mural later,” said Andi, softly. 

Beside her, Libby nodded in agreement.

Buffy’s face fell as she looked away, refusing to meet their eyes. “And Marty and I already have plans. Sorry.”

T.J. felt his heart sink. “Oh…”

Meanwhile, Marty cleared his throat. “Maybe another time?” he offered.

T.J. nodded. “Yeah, definitely.”

Another awkward silence fell upon them as he racked his brains for something to break it. He wished he had something, anything, to get them to start talking.

“Uh, I need to go to the bathroom,” Buffy announced, already turning away. “I’ll see you, guys.”

“Sure,” T.J. replied.

He, Andi, and Libby just watched as Buffy and Marty walked away from them and through the door to the locker rooms. Sighing, T.J. turned back to the two girls.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t realize…”

Andi shook her head. “It’s okay. I mean, it’s not like Buffy and I don’t like each other anymore. It’s just…we lost touch. She became preoccupied with sports and I wanted to concentrate on art.”

And the silent third thing was there: there was no Cyrus to glue them back together, anymore.

T.J. wished he could offer more comfort, given the knowledge he had about their friendship. But, he could only keep his mouth closed and look sorry as much as he could.

After all, they didn’t know that he knew exactly why they stopped talking.

* * *

After tryouts, he headed to The Spoon Diner. Amber was working there as a waitress now. Her shifts were after school, three times a week, from 4-7pm, which meant that T.J. could stop by and get free food when she was working. It was one of those days and he really needed some comforting junk food in his system.

He spotted his sister’s blonde ponytail taking orders at the bar counter so he settled on a stool there and patiently waited.

Amber finished with her customer, spotted him, and walked right over.

“Hey, twerp. How were tryouts?” she asked.

T.J. glared at the insulting nickname before grinning. “I think I did pretty great! I’m definitely in!”

“Oohh, sounding confident, aren’t we?” Amber raised an eyebrow. “When do you know the results?”

“Monday. But, I know I’m definitely in!”

“Aww, I’m proud of you.”

Amber reached over to ruffle his hair and T.J. recoiled, slapping her hands away.

“Can you just get me some food? I’m hungry.”

“I don’t hear the magic word.”

“Now, please.”

Amber rolled her eyes but lifted her pad and pen to take his order. “What do you want?”

T.J. shrugged. “Don’t know. Never been here. What’s good?”

“The baby taters are pretty popular. And the milkshakes.”

He raised a brow. “What are baby taters?”

Amber chuckled. “Their version of a tater tot. But, it’s really good, almost everyone orders it.”

“Then, I’ll have that. And a chocolate milkshake. To go.”

She lifted her eyes from her pad. “You’re not staying?”

“Nah, I’ll just head home. Cyrus probably wants to know how it went.”

And just like that, his sister’s smile dipped into a frown. “So, you’re actually helping that ghost?” she asked in a low tone.

T.J. shrugged. “Yeah.”

Amber’s hands fell on top of the counter, clutching the edge tightly. “You promised you wouldn’t do this anymore. You said you wanted a normal life, yet you’re back to the same old routine again?”

“It’s just one ghost,” T.J. defended. “And it’s not anything dangerous, either. I’m just helping his friends make up again, that’s all. Nothing illegal, no breaking and entering, and no trip to the police this time. I swear.”

“And what if the other ghosts find out and they flock to you for help?”

“Cyrus promised me he wouldn’t tell the others. He told me he doesn’t talk to them anyway.”

Amber steeled her gaze. “And you believe him?”

“Yes.” T.J. returned her look, stubbornly refusing to back down. “I trust him. And he trusts me.”

Well, he didn’t know, exactly, if Cyrus trusted him, but what else he could say to get her to drop the subject and accept his decision? 

And, besides, Cyrus had declared them friends and told him many things about himself (except for the way he died, that was still a well-guarded secret and mystery). That meant he trusted T.J. even just a little, right?

Amber continued to stare him down, in big sister mode now. She may support his abilities but she never did approve of his activities, which mostly stemmed from the trauma with Emily. She didn’t trust ghosts, no matter what.

“I’ve never seen you act like this towards a ghost before,” she stated, her brow furrowing. “Normally, you’re detached. You treat it like a job you hate. But with this one… you’re different.” She narrowed her eyes. “Do you like him or something?”

Immediately, T.J.’s cheeks flushed, caught off-guard. “What?”

“Is he your type?” she pressed.

“What are you talking about?” T.J.’s entire face burned, including his ears.

“I need a picture of this boy. What was his name again?”

“Amber!”

“Never mind. I’ll find out, myself.” 

Without another word to him, she spun on her heels and headed towards the kitchen. “I can’t believe my brother has a crush on a ghost,” he heard her murmur before she walked through the doors.

Groaning, T.J. dropped his head on the table.

Amber was just being ridiculous. He didn’t have a crush on Cyrus! Sure, he thought he was kind of cute and endearing, but T.J. barely knew anything about him!

And, besides, Cyrus was a ghost! It would never work out! As soon as T.J. finished helping him with his unfinished business, he was going to move on and disappear from the Earth forever. T.J. could not afford to crush on a ghost, it would just all end in heartbreak.

Feeling a presence settle on the seat next to him, he lifted his head. Amber was beside him, no longer wearing her hat and apron.

He raised his brows, questioningly, at her.

“I’m taking my break,” was all she answered.

T.J. rolled his eyes. “If you’re just trying to find out if I have a crush on Cyrus, I don’t. Okay? We’re just friends. He’s not interested in me in that way and neither am I.”

His sister didn’t look like she believed him. Instead, she took out her phone and quickly typed and furiously scrolled, not looking at him. Finally, she found what she was looking for and turned the phone around.

It was a Facebook account - a private one but the profile picture was clear as day in revealing who owned it. And the smiling image staring back at him was of the same boy who lived in his bedroom. 

“Is this him?” she asked.

“H-How did you…?”

“I can ask mom questions, too.”

“You texted her?! What if she was in the middle of a lesson?!”

“If she was, she wouldn’t text me back.” Amber flashed him a pointed look. “So, there aren’t many Cyrus Goodman’s who live in Shadyside, just this one.” She raised an eyebrow. “So? Is this him?”

T.J. nervously swallowed. “Y-Yeah,” he admitted.

Amber hummed as she looked at her phone again. “I guess he’s kinda cute. Not my type, but he’s got a certain charm to him. I can see why you want to help him.”

“Amber, his looks have got nothing to do with my helping him, okay?” T.J. sighed. “I just feel bad. He’s obviously stuck and doesn’t know why. I’m just trying to help. And he’s really nice, not like the others. They’re always demanding me to do things for them but Cyrus? He never asked for my help. I offered it. And he’s not making me rush either. I just… want to help him.” He sighed again. “I don’t even know if I _can_ help. So far, my plan to get his friends to talk again didn’t work. It’s like they don’t even know what to say to each other or how to start a conversation.”

Amber puffed her cheeks, indicating that she was actually thinking deeply about something.

“Maybe… they just need something to remind them of their old friendship,” she suggested.

“Like what?” he asked.

“Things like… the place they met… or a place they frequented… maybe an activity they often did together.”

T.J. didn’t know what those were but he could always ask Cyrus.

“… or maybe old photos? Those can always make you remember the good ol’ days. Never underestimate the power of nostalgia.”

T.J. pursed his lips. “I guess I could ask Cyrus.”

Amber gave him a worried look. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

He appreciated her concern but he already made up his mind. He nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Sighing loudly, Amber nodded. “Alright. Just be careful.” She got to her feet. “Your order should be done soon. I’ll go check.”

She affectionately patted his cheek before leaving. He smiled after her in gratitude.

For all of her hatred of ghosts, his sister still came through with offering him advice.

* * *

He had to admit. The baby taters were addicting. They were lightly salted and the grease stained his fingers. He never cared about tater tots before but, for some reason, he just couldn’t stop eating them.

T.J. stared forlornly at the Styrofoam box sitting on his desk that was once filled to the brim but was now half-empty, only around six tots left. He should go on a jog tomorrow morning because he was pretty sure he gained quite a bit just from that. All he wanted was a snack but Amber gave him the huge serving and he didn’t know whether to thank her or curse her.

As he reached over to take another piece, he caught a shimmer from the corner of his eye.

As usual, Cyrus was sat on his desk, smiling and waving. “Hey, T.J.”

The blonde let out a chuckle. “No nickname today?”

Cyrus shrugged. “Couldn’t think of one.” When he looked down and saw the box, his eyes lit up. “Oh my god! Are those baby taters?!”

“Yeah? Want some?”

T.J. almost kicked himself. Of course, Cyrus couldn’t have some! He was a ghost!

Thankfully, Cyrus just laughed. “No, thanks. I’m on a diet.” He looked on with a sad smile at the tater tots. “These were my favorite. Andi, Buffy, and I used to get a huge order and share them. And I would do tater theatre!”

Raising a curious brow, T.J. asked, “What’s tater theatre?”

The question seemed to light up Cyrus’ entire face. He proudly straightened up. “Only the best and most entertaining show in Shadyside, presented to you by the wonderful Cyrus Goodman.” He gestured to the baby taters. “May I?”

Confused yet curious, T.J. gave him the go-ahead with a simple nod.

Excitedly, Cyrus picked up two of the tots. “_High School Musical_ or _Camp Rock_?”

“Uh… _High School Musical_?”

The ghost grinned. “Excellent choice. So, today’s installment of tater theatre presents,_ High Tater Musical_!” He lifted a tot. “From the moment Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez met, they had no idea that it was going to be the start of something new…”

T.J. watched in total astonishment as Cyrus re-created the entire movie using only the tater tots and his voice. It was the most ridiculous display he had ever seen in his entire life.

He loved it.

He clapped loudly when Cyrus finished and the boy blushed yet gave a little bow. 

“Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all night!”

“That was... wow.”

“Not exactly an adjective but I’ll take it!”

T.J. grinned as he picked up a tot, dipped it in ketchup, and popped it into his mouth. “And you did this all the time?”

“Only when I felt inspired. Which was a lot.”

If any of those were just like the one he just witnessed, Cyrus’ friends probably had a grand time watching them.

“So, aside from baby taters, what else do you like?”

It didn’t take long for the boy to answer. “Chocolate-chocolate chip muffins! They’re the best thing in this world! Aside from baby taters, of course!”

“I’m learning new things about you everyday.”

Cyrus cocked his head to the side. “What about yours?”

“My what?”

“Your favorite muffin.”

T.J. pursed his lips in thought. “Hmmm… Blueberry macadamia.”

Cyrus made a face. “That doesn’t exist!”

“Of course, it does! There’s this bakery back in San Francisco that makes really good blueberry macadamia! We went there all the time!”

It was one of the very few things he missed about San Francisco, but he could live with it. 

The ghost looked at him, suspiciously. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

T.J. opened his mouth to answer but stopped himself on time. He had been about to tell Cyrus that he would take him. 

What was he thinking?! Of course, he couldn’t take Cyrus to San Francisco! Ghosts were normally tied to one place and Cyrus was tied to this town. They couldn’t just go on a road trip to San Francisco… could they?

“But, you know, if you dip the baby tater in your milkshake, it tastes like heaven. Or, that’s how I imagine heaven to taste like.”

T.J. blinked, confused, but Cyrus was staring at the little container of ketchup on his desk.

T.J.’s chest twitched and he lifted a hand to scratch at it. “Sure, I’ll give it a shot.” He opened the top of his milkshake cup and dipped a baby tater in before taking a small bite.

As soon as the cold sweetness combined with the light salty taste met his tongue, his eyes widened in shock.

Cyrus looked utterly delighted when he dipped the tot in a second time.

The simple things really did make the ghost happy. “So, how were tryouts?” he asked, leaning back as he playfully kicked his legs back and forth.

T.J. wiped his hands on a napkin. “Pretty great! I’m definitely in, but I don’t find out for sure until Monday.”

“You’re in. I just know it!”

T.J. smiled, feeling warmth take over his body as he was filled with gratitude for the boy’s support. 

He waited for Cyrus to ask about Buffy and Andi but he didn’t. Honestly, he wasn’t looking forward to telling him that his plan failed. He hoped Cyrus wouldn’t be too disappointed.

“But, my plan… didn’t actually work,” he stated, slowly.

Cyrus frowned. “Your plan?”

“For Buffy and Andi. They barely talked! It was so awkward!”

“Oh.” Cyrus nodded, his eyes falling to the floor. He did look disappointed but not surprised. “That’s okay. You tried your best.”

T.J. didn’t like that forlorn look on his face. It just didn’t suit him. 

T.J. scooted his chair closer to the boy, placing a hand on his knee. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep trying. This isn’t the end.”

Cyrus managed a small smile at that. “Thank you.”

T.J. nodded. “So, I talked to my sister about it. And she said maybe they’ll talk if something reminded them of their friendship. Like, maybe the place you guys met?”

“Second grade. Jefferson Elementary. It’s only a couple of blocks from the Middle School.”

“Where did you guys hang out a lot?”

“The Spoon. Red Rooster since Andi’s dad owns the place. And, sometimes, Cloud Ten. That’s the Salon on Main, Andi’s mom owns it.”

T.J. pursed his lips. “Now, how do I get them both in all those places? They wouldn’t even go to The Spoon with me!”

Chuckling, Cyrus shook his head. “I don’t know. I mean, everyone hangs out at The Spoon, they’re bound to run into each other there at some point. And wouldn’t they find it weird if you asked them to go to the Elementary School? They don’t even know that you know me. Unless you told them you found pictures of us or something.”

T.J.’s ears perked. Pictures.

“Do you have any?” he asked, the wheels in his head turning.

“Any what?”

“Pictures! Of the three of you! Maybe if I show it to them, they’ll remember they were friends. And they’ll…” He looked at Cyrus, trying to decipher his expression. “Remember you. And the times you guys shared.”

Cyrus bit his lower lip, seeming like he was struggling with a thought.

It only then occurred to T.J. that, obviously, Cyrus wouldn’t have any photos. At least, not here. His whole room was cleared out with almost everything when his parents sold the house to T.J.’s mom. And he didn’t really feel like breaking and entering into Cyrus’ parents’ new place - those days were behind him. 

He was about to apologize when Cyrus nodded. 

“I do. In the closet, there’s a loose floorboard. I used it to hide some things. I’m sure they’re still there, no one else knows about it.”

With Cyrus’ approval, T.J. got up and went over to the closet. Crouching on the floor, he pushed sneakers and boxes aside.

“It’s towards the back,” Cyrus called out.

T.J. crawled further in, rapping his knuckles against the wood. Finally, he heard it – a hollow sound. Using his fingernails, he jiggled and pried the wood loose, lifting it up and setting it aside. Inside was a blue shoebox, a little frayed but still intact. Taking it in his hands, he crawled back out of the closet and placed it on the floor. He crossed his legs underneath him.

Cyrus appeared across from him, the box between them.

“You can open it,” the boy said with a nod.

T.J. nodded back before removing the top. His eyes met a stack of photos placed neatly on top of a little blue notebook. He carefully took out the stack. 

The beaming face of a young Cyrus standing in between a young Buffy and Andi stared back at him.

“Wow, you guys were adorable,” he said, unable to stop himself from smiling.

He flipped through them, each one showing a new memory, a new stage of Cyrus’ life as the three gradually got older and older. There were photos of them in Halloween costumes, at The Spoon, at birthday parties, on bikes. 

In almost all of them, Cyrus was always in the middle, always sandwiched in between the two girls who clearly adored him and whom he adored in return. They were a huge part of each other’s lives.

T.J. arrived at the last photo of the three friends at what looked like a pizza place, a fourth person standing next to Cyrus.

“Jonah Beck,” T.J. stated, staring at a much younger-looking version of the boy from his English class.

“Yeah.” Fingers gently grasped the edge of the photo as Cyrus reached over to take it from his hold. “This was taken the year before I died. The Space Otters won their final game of the season.”

T.J. didn’t know who the Space Otters were but he dared not interrupt to ask.

Cyrus continued to talk, “Jonah gave me the MVP award and an honorary Space Otter member t-shirt. It was a fun time.” He smiled at the photo, fondly. “That was when I…”

The ghost trailed off, looking like his mind was far away now.

“When… you?” T.J. tried to ask, his curiousity piqued.

Cyrus looked up at him, meeting his eyes. The brown orbs looked conflicted, like he was trying to make a decision.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” said T.J., immediately. “But, I may not be the son of three psychologists and a life coach, but I can still listen.”

At that, the other boy broke into a smile. “Yeah…”

“I promise I won’t judge. Well, unless you think the ‘The Last Airbender’ live-action movie was great. Then, I’m sorry but I have to judge you.”

Cyrus finally laughed. “Never. I have some taste.” He quieted again, lips pressed tightly in thought.

T.J. decided to look through the photos again, giving the other boy time to decide and get comfortable.

There were a couple of pictures of a young Cyrus, Buffy, and Andi on the swings and a few more recent-looking ones, too. They must really like the swings. T.J. recognized the playground it was on, he passed it often whenever he took a shortcut through the park on his way home from school.

And Cyrus wore a lot of sweaters and button-ups. T.J. couldn’t judge his fashion choices. He, himself. only wore hoodies, after all.

And Cyrus could dance? There was a photo of the three in fedoras and sparkly jackets mid-dance on a dance floor at some kind of huge event. He didn’t strike T.J. as the type, but then again, there were many things he didn’t know about Cyrus.

“I’m gay.”

T.J.’s head flew up so fast that he thought his neck had snapped.

Cyrus wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were firmly set on the photo he still clutched in his shaking hands.

“I’m sorry, I kind of sprung a big one on you,” he continued, his voice breaking. “I just… I know we’ve only known each other for maybe three weeks but I feel comfortable talking to you and I feel like you won’t judge me. But… please don’t think I’m weird or looking at you or something like that because I’m not, I swear. I respect your privacy and if you want me to leave any time, I-.”

“I’m gay, too.”

It was Cyrus’ turn to almost snap his neck as he looked up at T.J., mouth open in disbelief.

T.J. flashed him a gentle smile. “Hi.”

Cyrus’ mouth opened and closed. “I… You… Really?”

T.J. nodded.

“And you’re just… telling me? Just like that?” the boy continued to ask, still sounding unsure.

T.J. shrugged. “I’m not exactly out everyone but the people who matter already know the truth. There’s Amber, my mom, and, now, you.” He smiled again. “I trust you, Ghost Boy. And you can trust me.”

For a beat or two, Cyrus was quiet as he continued to stare at him like he had two heads. And then, he let out a breath – one that was full of relief.

And, T.J. wondered: how long had been hiding it? How long had he been keeping it all in? How long had he been holding his breath with no way to release it?

“I do,” Cyrus said, smiling at him, his brown eyes shining with unshed tears. “I trust you.”

T.J.’s heart was suddenly beating so fast that he feared that it would jump out of his chest. He recognized this feeling. He had only felt it once before and never thought he would again. At least, not right now. And not towards a ghost. But, maybe he had been trying to deny it _because_ Cyrus was a ghost.

Shit. Maybe Amber was right. 


	7. Photographs

The stack of photos of the Good Hair Crew remained hidden in a little envelope and stuffed in the front pocket of T.J.’s backpack. He brought them to school with him every day, hoping to find the opportunity to get Andi and Buffy alone together so he could talk to them but it was proving impossible.

Andi was always busy, either with Libby or Walker or both, working on some kind of project. And when she wasn’t working on art, she was helping her dad at the Red Rooster or her mom at Cloud Ten. 

Meanwhile, since Buffy got into the girls’ basketball team (no surprise there), she was at practice twice a week. And when she wasn’t busy with practices, she was hanging out with Marty.

T.J. also got into the boys’ basketball team (again, no surprise there). However, his team practiced when the girls’ team wasn’t. So, he could never catch them after school. 

All he needed was a moment alone with them to give them the pictures, that was it! Why was it so hard?!

“Take your time,” Cyrus had told him when T.J. expressed his frustration one day. 

“But, don’t you want to move on?” T.J. had asked.

Cyrus simply shrugged. “I’m in no hurry to leave.”

And T.J. appreciated his understanding – was glad about it, in fact. He was used to simply getting things done so a ghost could leave him alone. But, as he had known for a long time now, Cyrus was different. He never rushed T.J. or demanded things from him.

And, sometimes, T.J. tried not to think about what would happen when Cyrus did move on and leave.

The more days passed, the less inclined he was to give the pictures to Andi and Buffy. Because giving them the pictures could mean they would rekindle their friendship. And when they rekindled their friendship, Cyrus’ unfinished business would finally be finished. So, he would leave.

A part of T.J. didn’t want him to leave. He liked having Cyrus around. He often felt selfish thinking that. 

And, then, Cyrus would ask how his friends were doing that day, his bright eyes showing a glimpse of the sadness and longing he had been feeling.

It made T.J. feel guilty for being so selfish. 

* * *

“What does T.J. stand for?”

The blonde tore his gaze away from Orlando Bloom’s handsome close up on the laptop screen to look at the curious brunette next to him. They were sitting, side-by-side, on T.J.’s bed, having a movie night. Their selection that night was “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.” 

Cyrus watched him, expectantly, the curiosity practically vibrating off him.

T.J. shook his head. “You don’t need to know that.”

The ghost pouted. “But, why not? I’m dying with curiosity! And that says a lot since I’m already a ghost.”

He resisted the urge to laugh out loud. “There are only 5 people in this world who know my full name and it will stay that way.”

“If you tell me your full name, I’ll tell you mine,” Cyrus goaded, wriggling his eyebrows. 

T.J. raised a brow. “You have a normal name.”

“Oohh, so your name is not normal? It’s unique, then! Now I want to know even more!”

“Let it go, Cyrus.”

“Pleaaaaase.” The ghost protruded his lips, widening his sad puppy eyes and fluttered his eyelashes.

Darnit, he looked so cute. 

T.J. had to look away. He could already feel himself wavering. But, no, his name was an embarrassment and he had a reputation to uphold. Cyrus would never know his name, no matter how adorable he was.

“I can go first!” the other boy tried to compromise. “My full name is Cyrus Joshua Goodman.”

T.J.’s lips twitched. “That’s a perfectly normal name.”

“It’s a boring name!”

The blonde chuckled. “It’s a nice name. And your initials are C.J.” He grinned. “We match.”

Suddenly, Cyrus’ cheeks turned a light shade of pink, despite his pale pallor. The ghost was so easily embarrassed, it was fun teasing him, sometimes.

“I guess we do,” was all he said, not looking at T.J. “But, I still really want to know.”

Shaking his head, T.J. bumped his shoulder with his. “Maybe, someday, I’ll tell you. But, right now, it’s a closely-guarded secret that only a select few know and are sworn to secrecy.”

“More closely-guarded than you being gay?” Cyrus teased, grinning.

Coming from anyone else, T.J. might feel embarrassed. Or even a bit insulted. But, this was Cyrus.

When they both revealed their deepest secrets and came out to each other, it felt like a breath of fresh air. They both seemed to let more and more of their individual walls come down. At least, that was how it felt like to T.J. They hadn’t talked about it much, but the new development in their friendship seemed to dissolve any little bit of mistrust and doubt they still had about each other. This must be how it felt like to have a best friend.

T.J. just shrugged. “Yep.”

“So, when do I get to join the circle?”

_“When your last name is Kippen,_” T.J. wanted to say but held his tongue. That was too flirtatious, even for him. He didn’t want to scare the ghost away. (He had to laugh at that because him? Scaring a ghost away?)

“Someday,” he ended up repeating.”

“Hmph. Fine. But when is ‘someday’?”

“In the future.”

The ghost let out a huff and crossed his arms. “Fiiiiiine,” he whined, though a bit less bitter this time.

Since their conversation made them miss part of the movie, they went a few spots back and continued watching. Aside from a few comments here and there, they were mostly silent. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, though. T.J. could feel the cold emanating from Cyrus’ ghostly form through his hoodie, but he couldn’t move away. He liked being close to him.

It was nice.

* * *

After practice that Thursday afternoon, T.J. texted Andi and Buffy, separately, asking them both if they were free to go to The Spoon. Texting them to hang out was a habit at this point and he was used to one accepting and the other declining or both declining.

So, he didn’t really think much of it as he packed his things and got ready to head home. When his phone dinge-d twice, indicating that both had responded, he checked it, not really expecting much. So, his eyes definitely widened in shock at what he read: both had said “yes”.

Hands shaking, he responded, “Great! See you there!” to both before grabbing his things. Bidding goodbye to his teammates (Marty was absent due to a dentist appointment so that explained why Buffy was free), he jogged out of school and made his way to the diner.

His mind was running a million thoughts a minute. He was finally doing this. He was going to repair the rift between Andi and Buffy. He was going to remind them why they were friends in the first place. He was going to fulfill Cyrus’ unfinished business.

At that last thought, his legs slowed.

Often, when he had fulfilled an unfinished business for a ghost, they would immediately disappear. Sometimes, they would thank him and say goodbye. Others wouldn’t even bother, they would just...disappear. Gone. As if they were never there.

What if he came home and Cyrus wasn’t there? What if he never came back to say goodbye? What would T.J. do then?

Well, he would finally have his room to himself. He could finally go about his days like a normal teenage boy. But, part of him knew that it would be lonely. 

He was used to having a Cyrus around now. 

The thought of not seeing the ghost’s smile or hear his laugh or be the subject of his teasing or seeing the way he would scrunch his nose when he was confused about something or how his lips would protrude out when he was thinking too deeply…

Heavy breathing and a soft panicked “Help” reached his ears, interrupting his musings.

He froze in his tracks and looked around. A pair of black converse shoes peeked out from behind a bush nearby. 

At first, T.J. was wary. It could be a ghost and he might get roped into helping and he really didn’t want to. But, the soft calls kept going so T.J. made his way towards it, carefully.

Sitting on the grass, with his head in his hands, was a brown-haired guy, hyperventilating. When he heard T.J. approach, he looked up with frightened green eyes.

T.J. let out a relieved breath. It wasn’t a ghost.

“Jonah?” The blonde moved forward, quickly, and crouched down beside the boy. “You okay?”

“N-No… I-I-I don’t… know…” the brunette answered.

He was having a panic attack. Amber had them often after a nightmare so T.J. knew the signs.

Looking around, he spotted a bench nearby. “Okay, just breathe, I’m going to help you up, okay?”

Jonah didn’t respond, just nodded and allowed T.J. to wrap an arm around him and lift him up to his feet. The blonde led him to the bench, all the while telling him to keep breathing. He sat him on the bench and rubbed his back.

When the boy seemed to be calming down, T.J. reached into his backpack to take out his water bottle. He had re-filled it after practice so it still had a lot. He hoped Jonah wouldn’t mind sharing.

“Here.” He opened the cap and handed it over.

Jonah reached for it and took giant gulps.

“Thanks,” he said when he was done and returned the bottle to T.J.

For a few moments, they sat in silence. Jonah was breathing deeply and loudly, but he was definitely calmer. His forehead was still damp with sweat and his lips were wet from the water he just drank.

While the boy got his bearings together, T.J. took that time to send a quick text to the girls to let them know he would be a little delayed.

“Sorry you had to see that,” Jonah finally spoke, his voice soft and hoarse. “It just… came out of nowhere and there was no one around and...” He trailed off, swallowing.

“It’s fine, man,” T.J. replied, sympathetically. “My sister gets panic attacks so I know it’s not something you can control. I’m just glad I passed by. How are you feeling now?”

“A little better.” Jonah’s hands were still shaking. “Thanks. I owe you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” T.J. fiddled with his water bottle.

This guy was one of Cyrus’ friends when he was alive. The ghost described him as his best guy friend and always had a soft look on his face whenever he talked about Jonah. T.J. often wondered if there had been something more between them but he never asked – he didn’t think it was his place to do so.

He wondered if Jonah cared about Cyrus as much as the other boy clearly did about him.

“You’re in my English class,” Jonah stated.

T.J. nodded. “Yeah. We’ve never talked though.” He extended a hand. “I’m T.J.”

The boy took his hand and shook it. “Jonah. But, you already know that?”

The blonde flashed a friendly smile. “Everyone knows you. You’re popular.”

Jonah chuckled. “I guess?”

T.J. bit his lip, contemplating. “Uh… You, Andi Mack, and Buffy Driscoll are friends, right?”

Jonah looked surprised. “Yeah… Sort of. We haven’t hung out much lately, though.” His face fell. “How did you know?”

T.J. swallowed as he reached into the front pocket of his backpack. He opened up the envelope there and searched through the stack of photos. Finding what he was looking for, he took it out.

Hesitating a little before completely making up his mind, he handed it over to Jonah. “I found this in my room. I recognized you, guys”

The brunette took the photo and his eyes widened when he realized what he was looking at.

“I’m meeting up with Andi and Buffy right now to give them the others I found but… you were friends with Cyrus, right? The Goodman boy?”

Jonah was still staring at the photo. “H-How...?”

T.J. cleared his throat. “My family moved into their old house. I guess I picked Cyrus’ room ‘cause I found some of his things.”

A faint sad smile grazed Jonah’s lips. “He was a great friend. He was the one person who knew how to calm me down when I’m going through a panic attack. And, when he…” He choked, unable to say the rest of the words. “I miss him.”

T.J. felt himself smile. “And I’m sure Buffy and Andi miss him, too.” He cleared his throat. “What happened to them? They looked so close in the photos but they barely talk these days.”

Jonah sighed, returning the photo back to T.J. “To be honest, I don’t even know. After everything that happened with Cyrus, it’s like they can’t even look at each other anymore, much less talk. I still hang out with them, separately when they’re free, but it’s different. It’s not like how it was before.”

He didn’t say anything else. Not that T.J. could blame him. It must be difficult to talk about Cyrus.

“Well, I’m kind of hoping that if I show them the pictures I found, they might remember everything they had.”

Jonah looked at him and nodded. “I hope so, man. I really hope so. I… kinda want my friends back.”

T.J. hoped he could bring them back together.

“Do you want to keep it?” he asked, gesturing to the photo.

Jonah looked surprised yet hopeful. “Can I? Is that okay?”

“Yeah.” T.J. smiled. “I’m sure Cyrus would want you to have it. He clearly treasured your friendship.”

Jonah smiled, looking down at the photo. “I treasured it, too.” He looked up. “Thanks, T.J.”

After making sure for one last time that Jonah was okay to be left alone, T.J. went on his way. 

(But not before giving Jonah his number in case he wanted to talk or hang out – they were classmates, after all. Maybe they could be friends, too.)

When he made it to The Spoon, he saw Andi sitting at a booth by the window, scrolling through her phone as she patiently waited for him.

This was it. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself before pushing the door open and going in.

“Hey,” he greeted.

She smiled up at him. “Hi!”

T.J. quickly looked around. Amber was nowhere to be seen but he was sure that this was one of her sections, so it was perfect. 

Across the diner, he spotted Buffy, sitting at a two-person table by herself, also on her phone. 

T.J. put his bag down on the seat opposite Andi before telling her he would be right back before walking over to Buffy’s table.

“Hey,” he greeted.

She looked up and smiled. “Hey, you made it.”

“Yeah.” He stuffed his left hand into the front pockets of his hoodie. “Do you wanna go sit over there with Andi?” He pointed with his thumb behind him where the other girl was sitting. “I invited her, too.”

At that, Buffy’s smile disappeared. She looked over at Andi and bit her lip. “I don’t know. She might not want me there.”

So stubborn.

T.J. just needed to give her a little push. “I’m sure she won’t mind. The more the merrier, right? Come on, Driscoll.”

She was wavering, he could tell by the way her gaze went back to Andi, longingly.

“Alright,” she finally agreed.

Together, they walked back to the other girl, who looked up from her phone. Her eyes widened at the sight of the newcomer.

“Hey,” Buffy said with a small smile.

Andi smiled back, a little hesitant. “Hi, Buffy. Are you joining us?”

T.J. cleared his throat. “Yeah, I invited her. Hope you don’t mind?”

Andi shook her head. “Not at all.”

Buffy slid into the booth, T.J. settling in beside her. The two girls glanced at each other before looking away, silent and awkward. It was way different from how they were in the photos currently burning a hole through T.J.’s backpack. But, it wasn’t the right time, yet. He needed to ease into it.

“So, my sister works here,” he began. “We get family discounts so order anything you want! On me!”

That seemed to lighten the mood and the two girls thanked him for the treat.

He looked around and finally saw Amber emerging from the kitchen, her pen and pad poised to take orders. She saw him, raised an eyebrow in question, and went right over.

“Hey,” she greeted, pasting a friendly smile on her face.

“Guys, this is my sister, Amber. Ambs, these are my friends. Buffy Driscoll and Andi Mack.”

Amber continued to smile, though he could see the unasked questions on her face. 

“It’s nice to meet my baby brother’s new friends. God knows he could use them!”

“Amber!”

The girls giggled, amused. 

Meanwhile, his sister rolled her eyes before lifting her pad and paper. “So, what can I get you?”

“I’ll have a basket of baby taters and a strawberry milkshake please,” said Andi.

“I’ll have the same with a vanilla milkshake,” added Buffy.

Amber noted them all down before turning to T.J. He paused for a moment, the wheels in his brain were turning.

“How about we just get a huge basket to share?” he suggested as innocently as he could.

Buffy and Andi casted looks at each other, like they knew a secret he did, before nodding.

“Sure,” they agreed.

Grinning, he looked up at his sister again. “So make that one large basket. And I’ll have a chocolate milkshake.”

Amber nodded. “Large basket of baby taters, one strawberry shake, one vanilla shake, and one chocolate shake. I’ll bring them all right over.”

She bounced away, her blonde ponytail swinging dramatically.

“Your sister’s pretty,” Andi commented.

That was random but okay.

“Sure, I guess, but she’s annoying,” T.J. replied.

“I imagine most siblings are,” Buffy added, chuckling. “Can’t really relate, though. I’m an only child.”

“Me, too. Unless mom and dad finally give in and get me that baby brother I asked for.”

Buffy squeaked. “They’re still not on board with that? You’ve been asking for so long!”

Andi shrugged. “I keep asking. But, mark my words, they’ll give in one of these days.”

Buffy laughed. “I hope it happens!” The laugh faded into a soft smile and a cough before she turned to T.J. “So, Kippen, how was practice today?”

T.J. blinked. He had been distracted by their conversation. “Oh, it was good! Can’t wait for the first game of the season! How’s yours?”

“Loving it! Some of the girls were on my team back in Jefferson so it’s great to be able to play with them again.” Then, suddenly shy, she turned back to Andi. “How about you, Andi? Any cool projects lately?”

The other girl seemed surprised to be addressed. Yet, she offered Buffy a friendly smile and nodded, excitedly.

“As a matter of fact, I’m working on this project with recycled plastic bags…”

And the conversation just flowed from there.

T.J. simply watched them, contributing to the conversation now and then, but otherwise, he left them to talk to each other. It was like being at The Spoon, simply hanging out, brought them back to old times. All that was missing was...Cyrus. T.J. wondered if they could feel his absence. 

Amber brought their food fairly soon and ruffled his hair (he batted her hands away) before she left.

In a better mood now, Andi picked up her glass. “A toast to you, two, for getting into your respective basketball teams.”

Oh, that was sweet.

Beside him, Buffy chuckled as she lifted her own. “And, to you, for your projects as well as future ones.”

They both looked to T.J. It took him a second to realize they were waiting for him to pick up his own glass so they could clink them together.

Smiling, he did so. Their glasses met at the center and, for the first time, T.J. felt like he was part of a group. 

Amber was kind of right. He really needed friends. And he felt grateful to Cyrus for introducing these girls to him. 

They tore into the basket of baby taters, making small talk. Taking a page from Cyrus’ book, T.J. thought to indulge himself in a little tater theater by re-enacting that day’s basketball practice. He wasn’t as good with the voices as Cyrus, though. But, still, the girls laughed along at his poor attempt, clearly enjoying it.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Buffy said.

Andi looked up and smiled at her. “Cyrus,” she whispered, softly.

Buffy returned the smile. “Yeah. Remember when he used to do tater theater?” She giggled as she stared at T.J.’s glass. “He always got chocolate, too.” She looked up at him. “Sorry, you probably don’t know what we’re talking about.”

T.J. cleared his throat. “Actually… I do. I… kind of have ulterior motives for bringing you, guys, here together.”

Andi froze, her hand halfway to picking up another baby tater, her brows were furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean? What ulterior motive?”

“What are you talking about, T.J.?” Buffy questioned.

T.J. swallowed. This was it. There was no backing out.

He reached into the front pocket of his backpack and took out the stack of photos. Nudging the basket of baby taters a little to the side, he placed the photos on the table. 

The top one showed young Andi, Buffy, and Cyrus with toothy smiles and their arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders.

Buffy let out a loud gasp. “W-Where did you get these?” she asked, reaching out for it. She picked it up, delicately, as if she scared that it might shatter into pieces in her hold.

T.J. cleared his throat as he subtly turned to face her. “Andi kinda knows already but I moved into the Goodman’s house. I found that in my room and I recognized you, two. So, I assumed that the kid who used to live there… Cyrus… he was friends with you, guys. Right?”

Across from them, Andi also reached out for a photo – the three of them on bicycles. Her eyes were shining with tears she refused to shed.

“He’s our other best friend,” she whispered, stroking the photo with a finger. “Cyrus Goodman.” She reached out for another photo. “Buffy, remember this? Our 3rd grade play.”

Buffy giggled, leaning forward to look at the photo Andi held out. “We were trees. Cyrus cried in the middle of the play ‘cause he couldn’t see his Dad in the audience. Turns out he was just late but he did make it.”

Letting out a breath of relief, T.J. leaned back in his seat and took a sip of his milkshake. He simply watched as the two girls went through the photos, one-by-one, talking about each one with each other, recalling memories of so long ago. Remnants of their friendship slowly displayed itself. 

It was like they forgot that T.J. was even there. He wasn’t offended though. They were fascinating to watch.

“T.J., thank you for this,” Buffy said, turning her gaze to him, a happy smile playing on her lips. “These memories are so precious to us. And to see them here… thank you.” Then, she turned to Andi, reaching out to put a hand over hers. “I’m so sorry, Andi.”

Andi turned her palm around and reached out with the other to squeeze Buffy’s hand. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have distanced myself from you. It’s just… after everything that happened with Cyrus, I just… felt so ashamed.”

Buffy let out a breath. “Me too. I couldn’t face you without feeling so guilty.”

“We were both at fault. We should have held on to each other instead of putting distance between us. Cyrus wouldn’t want that.”

“No, he wouldn’t. He’d be so mad. And you know it takes a lot to make him mad.”

“I hope he forgives us.”

T.J. felt himself smile. “Guys… it wasn’t your fault, you know. What happened with Cyrus.”

The girls turned their gaze on him. He felt a little uneasy now, hoping he wouldn’t say the wrong thing by accident.

He carefully chose his next words. “I don’t know exactly what happened but I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.”

They didn’t look convinced but, nonetheless, they flashed him grateful smiles.

“Thanks, T.J.,” Andi said. “For these pictures. And… bringing us together.”

T.J. smiled. “You’re welcome.”

And, that was that. He had successfully rekindled their friendship. It was done.

Cyrus could now rest in peace. 

T.J. should be happy for him, right? 

Yet, why was his stomach queasy, flip-flopping unpleasantly all over the place? Why did his heart feel so tight in his chest, like a hand was squeezing every drop from it? Why did his legs want to sprint out of The Spoon and run home?

“We should visit him,” Buffy piped, excitedly.

Immediately, Andi nodded in agreement. “Yes! It’s been a while since we did.” She looked at T.J. “Would you like to come with us? Meet Cyrus?”

Ignoring his body’s sudden weariness, T.J. nodded and forced a smile. “Sure. I’d like to pay my respects.”

And, just like that, the girls’ smiles disappeared. Andi frowned in confusion while Buffy raised an eyebrow.

Did he say something wrong?

“Pay your respects?” the athletic girl asked. “What do you mean?”

Now, T.J. was the one confused. “You’re visiting his grave, right?”

Andi’s eyes widened in shock. “What? No! What are you talking about?”

And, now, T.J. was even more confused. “I... He’s not buried?”

“T.J.” Buffy steeled her gaze on him, brows furrowed. “Cyrus isn’t dead.”

His heart dropped to his stomach.

What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yeah... I know. You guys have questions, right? Well, they’ll be answered in the next chapter! So... yeah. Hold on until then, okay? ;)


	8. What Happened To Cyrus?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Mentions of depression, self-harm, and suicide

“T.J…Cyrus isn’t dead.”

The rug had been pulled out from underneath his feet and he was on his back on the ground, staring up at the sky and wondering how it happened. There were no words for the swirl of mixed emotions brimming inside him.

Confusion. Joy. Anger. Sadness. Betrayal. Hope.

“W-Wait…” he managed, voice breaking. “H-He’s… alive?”

Andi sighed, sadly. “Well… alive is kind of a loose term.” She looked down at the photo in her hand. “He’s in a coma.”

T.J.’s heartbeat quickened.

A coma. 

Cyrus was in a coma. Cyrus had a body somewhere. A living, breathing body. 

Cyrus was alive.

T.J. couldn’t breathe and his throat was dry, but the thought of drinking more of his milkshake only made him want to throw up.

Why didn’t Cyrus want him to know? He never said anything about what happened to him. All he said was that it was an accident. Why did he say he was dead? And why did he allow T.J. to _assume_ that he was dead?

T.J. forced his voice out. “Can you tell me… what happened to him?”

The girls flashed each other looks, silently communicating. Both looked unsure if they were willing to disclose this information to T.J., but he had to know. He needed to know what was going on.

What happened to Cyrus?

Finally, Buffy nodded. Andi got the message and turned to T.J., looking weary and tired despite her earlier energy.

“We don’t really know why he did it,” she began, putting the photo in her hands back on the table before clasping her fingers together. “You see…Cyrus isn’t really the type to tell you when something is upsetting him because he doesn’t want you to worry. Kind of ironic as he was raised by psychologists.”

She trailed off, looking distant.

Buffy took over. “He was more of the listening and helping type. But, when it came to himself, he tended to ignore all that.” She released a breath. “A lot of things happened when were in 7th grade.”

She looked at Andi, who sighed as she continued the story. 

“I found out my older sister was actually my mom. And then my real dad showed up. And it was just…a lot going on with me.”

T.J. couldn’t stop his eyes from widening. The whole concept sounded like some kind of soap opera his mom and sister would watch.

Andi looked down at the photos on the table. “Cyrus was always willing to listen to my problems and everything that was bothering me. And then, I started sort of dating Jonah and…”

She trailed off before shaking her head. Buffy looked away, not meeting her eyes.

But, even if neither of them was saying it, it spoke loud enough for T.J. His suspicions had been correct: Cyrus did have feelings for Jonah. But, Jonah had been with Andi. 

What a mess.

“I unloaded a lot on Cyrus and he just let me,” Andi continued. “That was the type of person he was.”

T.J. nodded. He knew.

Buffy cleared her throat. “I moved towards the end of 7th grade,” she began, playing with the straw of her milkshake, still refusing to look at either of them. “My mom’s in the military but she came home and got a new job. We had to move to Phoenix. Cyrus was devastated and I… I didn’t talk to either him or Andi while I was gone because I was so afraid to show them how unhappy I was. I didn’t even say goodbye. But, eventually, we moved back. I wanted to surprise Cyrus so I didn’t say anything and he was the last person who found out I was back. He didn’t seem to mind. He was happy that I was back.” She let out a soft laugh. “He even treated everyone at The Spoon to baby taters to celebrate.”

Andi laughed along, smiling fondly. “He was always so generous. That little rich boy.”

T.J. felt his lips twitch despite the turmoil inside him. Why couldn’t they just get to the point already?!

Buffy’s laugh faded, leaving her to look distant once more. “I got permission to start a girls’ basketball team at Jefferson. So, I got busier and busier. Cyrus was always there being supportive, even when I was a mess ‘cause I had no idea what the hell I was doing. And… then… Walker and I kind of sort of started dating…”

T.J. blinked.

Walker? Andi’s Walker? Bright eyes, happy-go-lucky, artistic Walker? Walker who adored Libby so much that T.J. wondered why they weren’t dating yet? He dated Buffy?!

“…and things between Andi and I kind of got… awkward.”

Said girl cleared her throat. “Walker liked me and, for a while, I kind of liked him back, too. But, in the end, I chose Jonah. And, he and Buffy hit it off. They were good together. But… I was just… I don’t even know what was going on with me. I guess there were some lingering feelings for Walker or maybe I was jealous that Buffy was spending so much time with him…” She shook her head. “Either way, our friendship kind of took this weird… turn. And Cyrus was caught in the middle. He never liked choosing or picking sides. And… then…”

She trailed off, looking at Buffy who sighed and continued for her. 

“And then Cyrus’ grandmother, Bubbe Rose, passed away. He loved her so much so he was devastated.” She sighed. “We thought we were there for Cyrus when he needed us. We thought we did our duty as his friends to be there for him at his lowest. We didn’t know…”

This time, she choked up, unable to say the rest. She turned her head away, her hair blocking her face.

Andi reached out across the table to hold her hand, squeezing it tightly, before turning to T.J. and meeting his gaze.

“We didn’t know he was depressed,” she stated, a tear finally leaving her eye and sliding down her cheek.

Beside him, Buffy let out a choked sob.

T.J.’s chest felt tight, his fingers gripping his knee so hard, he could feel his fingernails making marks through his jeans.

“We knew he was sad and upset,” Andi continued, looking away to gaze outside the window. “But, we didn’t know that it was… that bad. He wasn’t eating much, but he always said he was full. He wasn’t sleeping much, either, but he kept insisting he was just up reading or watching some documentary.” She swallowed. “W-We didn’t see the signs at all. And he was still smiling and laughing along with us. We didn’t know that he wasn’t…okay. That he was breaking on the inside.”

Buffy sniffled, still not saying a word and still unable to show her face to them.

T.J. could feel water brimming the edge of his eyes but he held them back, refusing to let them fall. He thought of the constantly happy ghost boy with the bright disposition who sparkled with every smile and laugh.

So, it was true what they say… the saddest people smile the widest. 

From the moment they met, Cyrus always had a smile on his face, like nothing in the world could hurt him. He was always making T.J.’s day better, encouraging him, and being the voice of positivity he needed.

T.J. understood, now, why Cyrus never spoke about the way he died. Why he often brushed it off. Why he was always so careful not to give anything away.

Andi opened her mouth and closed it. She was holding on to Buffy’s hand even tighter and the other girl didn’t seem to mind, only held on.

“What happened to Cyrus, Andi?” T.J. forced himself to ask, even if he didn’t really want to.

But, he had to know.

He had to.

Andi swallowed. “O-One night…” Her hands shook. “H-He… Took some sleeping p-pills… Apparently, he had trouble sleeping… But, he… took m-more than he should have taken…”

T.J.’s body went cold.

“… we don’t know if he did it on purpose or what but… h-he… overdosed.”

A soft, “Oh God,” left T.J.’s lips. His eyes stung with unshed tears. He couldn’t breathe anymore.

“His step-mom found him and they took him to the hospital. T-They managed to save him but… he wouldn’t wake up. He still hasn’t.”

The tears flowed freely down Andi’s cheeks now. A small puddle formed on the table.

“Buffy, Jonah, and I visited him a lot during the first couple of months. We would talk to him about whatever was going on in our lives. We were hoping that if he heard us, he might wake up. That’s what they say, right? That it helps if you talk to a person in a coma. But… Cyrus wouldn’t wake up. And… it just got harder and harder to look at him l-like that…”

Finally, Buffy spoke. “We were supposed to be his best friends. Yet, we didn’t see anything. We didn’t notice that he was falling apart. We should have noticed but we didn’t. The guilt… just wouldn’t leave us. And, after that, it got too hard to look at each other, too, so… we stopped hanging out.”

Andi let out a sniffle and picked up one of the photos again. A soft smile played on her lips.

“Every day, we keep hoping to hear the news that he’s woken up. But, every day that passed, our hope just… died. Until we just sort of… lived with it. But, Cyrus… he doesn’t deserve to be forgotten, just like that.”

Buffy squeezed her hand. “We’ll visit him,” she said, firmly before turning to T.J. “And I’m sure he’d love to meet you. Would you like to come with us?”

T.J. tried to answer. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

Everything he just learned about Cyrus went through his mind like a movie. He could picture all the sadness, the anguish, and the suffering his friend went through while he lived.

“I-I have to go,” he managed, grabbing his bag and standing up. “Sorry, I just… I have to go. Here.” He took some money out, enough to pay for everyone’s food. “I-I’ll text you, guys.”

He hesitated before saying, “Sorry,” again. Ignoring their shocked and confused faces, he rushed out of The Spoon.

His fast walk turned into a run and then a sprint. His legs hurt and his lungs burned. But, the smiling face floating in his mind kept him going.

He had to get home.

He had to see Cyrus.

“Cyrus!”

He burst through the front door, ran up the stairs, and flung his bedroom door open. The room was empty.

“Cyrus?!” He entered his room, closing the door behind him and looking around. “Cyrus, where are you?! Please tell me you’re still here!” He spun around, not letting his eyes miss a single corner. “Cyrus, please!”

The tears threatening to fall blurred his vision.

“T.J.?”

With a gasp, he turned towards the desk, where Cyrus sat, looking confused and worried.

“Is everything okay?” the ghost asked, hopping off and walking over to him. “What’s wrong?”

Without answering, T.J. simply flung himself at the other boy, wrapping his arms around him tightly. And, finally, the tears fell and they wouldn’t stop.

“Teej? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“J-Just… g-give me a minute… p-please… I-I need to…”

A cold hand rubbed circles on his back, soothingly.

Neither boy spoke for a long time. T.J. sobbed into Cyrus’ shoulder while Cyrus continued to comfort and hold him. Cyrus felt cold to the touch and T.J. shivered but refused to let go. He never wanted to let go

Finally, he had to pull away, but kept Cyrus within an arm’s length, close enough to pull him back if needed.

The other boy looked so worried and T.J. hated that it was him who put that expression on his face.

“W-Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, softly.

Cyrus’ eyes widened. “P-Pardon?”

T.J. took his freezing hands in his. “I talked to Andi and Buffy today. I gave them the pictures.” He looked into those frightened brown eyes. “They told me everything.”

Cyrus’ breath hitched and he made to pull his hands away but T.J. held on.

“Is it true?” he questioned, pleadingly.

The boy couldn’t look at him.

“Cyrus, you didn’t…”

He looked up, his gaze meeting T.J.’s. 

“It was an accident,” he said, softly. “I swear, T.J., it was an accident! I didn’t mean to! I just… I wanted the pain to go away! I wanted to just sleep for a long time but I wanted to wake up, too! I swear! I didn’t… I didn’t want that to happen! Believe me, please! I didn’t…” He choked up, his eyes shining with tears his ghostly form couldn’t shed. “I didn’t want to die!”

“But, you’re not dead.” T.J. squeezed his hand. “You have a body, Cyrus. You can still come back. We just have to figure out-.”

“There’s nothing to come back to! I’m brain dead, T.J.!”

Cyrus finally yanked his hands away and took several steps back. He wasn’t upset anymore. T.J. could feel the atmosphere turn ominous as Cyrus gradually got angry.

“When I woke up, I was already like this,” he said, calmly despite the fury in his eyes. “I was standing right next to my body as the doctors told my parents that the only thing keeping me alive was a machine. That body is nothing but an empty shell. I’m dead, okay? And I don’t know why I’m still hanging around here when I should have been gone already.”

“We can bring you back,” T.J. pleaded.

“No, T.J., you can’t bring me back.”

Cyrus looked defeated. He had accepted his fate. So easily, just like that.

But, T.J. couldn’t.

“We can try-.”

“STOP!”

T.J.’s spelling bee trophy fell off the dresser and onto the floor. It didn’t break, but it silenced the blonde, who had never seen Cyrus act like this before. Like a poltergeist.

He was really angry.

The ghost was heaving, looking at T.J. like he had been betrayed. “Stop,” he repeated.

Then, he disappeared, leaving T.J. alone once more.

* * *

Amber flashed him worried looks throughout dinner as he pushed his food around his plate. She had questions but he refused to meet her eyes for fear of breaking down and exposing himself right there and then in front of their mother.

“Honey? What’s wrong?” Stella spoke up.

“Nothing.”

Nonetheless, his mother reached across the table to place a hand over his forehead.

“You’re a little clammy and you look pale,” she said, brows furrowed in worry. 

“I’m fine.”

She did not believe him, of course.

“Go to bed early tonight, okay? You’ve been pushing yourself too hard.”

“Okay.” He just didn’t have the strength to argue with her.

Amber took over dishes duty since their mom deemed him not well and sent him off to bed as soon as dinner was over.

T.J. got ready for bed in a daze. He wasn’t even tired but still got in bed. Then, he stared at his desk, waiting.

Cyrus had been gone for hours and T.J. didn’t know where he went. Otherwise, he would go after him and reassure him that he could fix this. He could get him back to his body. Cyrus could live again and they could become real-life friends. Him, Cyrus, Andi, Buffy, and even Jonah – they could all be friends.

A knock came on the door and it opened without him acknowledging the person behind it. Amber came in and, without a word, headed over to him and settled on the bed. He avoided her eyes, only looking at the desk.

“T.J., what’s wrong?” she asked, worriedly. “What happened this afternoon? I came back to check on everyone and your friends said you left. And… to be frank, you just look like crap.”

A vein throbbed in irritation on his forehead. “Gee, thanks,” he replied, sarcastically. “Can you please just leave me alone?”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on. It has something to do with that ghost, doesn’t it? So, spill.”

“Amber…”

“T.J.” Her tone was scolding as she glared at him, big sister mode in full-force. “_Tell_. Me.”

He was too exhausted to fight with her. So, in a shaky voice, he told her everything that Andi and Buffy told him. About their friendship Cyrus. About Cyrus’ past. About how he died. About how he may actually be alive.

And Amber listened, not interrupting for once or making some condescending facial expression, as she tended to do when their conversation involved a ghost.

Finally, when he was done, she pursed her lips, thoughtfully. “I’ve never seen you act like this,” she stated. “You’ve never been invested like this in a ghost before.”

“Amber… Cyrus is more than just a ghost.” T.J. swallowed the lump in his throat as his head swiveled to look at the empty desk again. “He’s my friend. And I want to help him. And if there’s any way to get him back to his body, I’ll do it.”

“But, how would you do that? If it was that easy, he would have done it by now. T.J., what if he’s right? And you can’t help him get back?”

“I have to try! Okay?!” With a frustrated groan, he fell back into his pillow, the fatigue of the day finally catching up to him. “I have to try…”

Amber placed a hand on his arm. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

T.J. didn’t answer, choosing, instead, to close his eyes.

“Want me to stay here with you tonight?”

Eyes still closed, T.J. replied, “No, thanks. I’ll be fine. I just need to be alone.”

He heard Amber sigh. “Okay.” She ruffled his hair before her weight left his bed. “I’m next door if you need me.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Her footsteps moved away from him and the door closed shut.

His room was silent once more.

T.J. pricked his ears, hoping to hear a sound. Anything. Any sign that Cyrus had appeared.

But, there was none.

Nonetheless, T.J. continued to wait.

* * *

Cold fingers brushed through his hair, rousing him from sleep.

T.J.’s eyes flew open. He fell asleep! It was dark now. Amber or his mom must have checked on him and turned the lights off.

The fingers in his hair retracted themselves. “Hey.”

T.J. turned his head, blinking through the darkness. Cyrus was sitting next to him – it was his fingers that had been playing in T.J.’s hair.

The ghost flashed him a sad look. “Are you still mad at me?”

Shocked at the question, T.J. immediately sat up, shaking his head. “No! Of course not!” He bit his lip. “Are _you_ mad at _me_?”

Cyrus managed a small smile. “No. Just…sad, I guess.”

T.J. placed a hand over his and squeezed it. “If you let me, I can find a way to-.”

“No.” The boy’s voice was firm as he strongly met T.J.’s eyes. “There’s no hope, T.J.”

“But-.”

“Can we please not start this again?” Cyrus pleaded. “Tell me. What did Andi and Buffy say about me?”

T.J. recounted everything again, still holding Cyrus’ hand. It was kind of strange, talking about Cyrus _to_ Cyrus, like he was a character in a story that took place in a different time...a different world. 

He watched as the emotions flickered across the boy’s face – his sadness and distress loud and clear.

“So… they pretty much told you everything,” Cyrus stated when T.J. was done. “_Almost_ everything.” He looked more serious than he had ever looked at any other time. “Will you listen to my side this time?”

There was no need to ask T.J. twice.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Those who guessed coma, congratulations! You read my mind! Or maybe I’m just predictable? Well, this was a very emotionally taxing chapter to write, to be honest, but it’s one of the most important ones.


	9. Selfishness & Selflessness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Mentions of depression, self-harm, and suicide

“Will you listen to my side this time?”

“Yes.”

Cyrus smiled in appreciation before leaning back against the headboard and staring at the ceiling. He was silent for a few moments. 

Even though he was overly curious and desperate to know everything, T.J. held himself back from asking questions. Subtly, he pressed his shoulder against the ghost’s, shivering when he felt the cold but still wanting to be close.

“A lot did happen that time,” Cyrus began, his tone wistful. “I figured out I was gay.”

T.J. bit his lip.

Cyrus took a deep breath. “I… realized that I liked Jonah.” He chuckled. “I’m a walking cliché, aren’t I? First ever guy friend and I ended up crushing on him. And what more was that I had a crush on my best friend’s crush… who ended up liking her back… and they kind of sort of dated or whatever their relationship was.”

T.J.’s chest clenched a bit as Cyrus looked at him.

“I didn’t mind that Jonah liked Andi,” he continued. “I was perfectly content just being his friend and crushing on him in secret. What else was I supposed to do? He and Andi already had their thing going on before I even came out to her.”

Now, T.J. could not stop himself from talking. “Was that why you…?”

Cyrus bit his lip. “It was probably a contributing factor,” he admitted. “But, no, it wasn’t completely because Jonah didn’t like me back. I mean, I…” He took a deep breath. “I literally just figured out I was gay and I was scared. So scared. I didn’t know what to do and I had just gotten a girlfriend and she was so nice but I felt so guilty being with her that I had to break up with her.”

T.J. didn’t know Cyrus that Cyrus had a girlfriend before. It wasn’t too far-fetched – the boy was handsome and sweet and kind to boot. Who wouldn’t like him? He wondered if the girl knew what happened and if she knew the truth.

“Buffy was the first person I came out to and she told me everything was going to be okay. I tried to believe her. But… I just…”

T.J. pressed closer. “You don’t know if it would actually be okay,” he finished for him, recalling his own turmoil when he was figuring things out about himself. “It’s like… one day, you feel like you can take over the world with your truth. But, the next day, you’re in a panic and wondering if people would figure it out and hate you. Especially the people you love.”

Cyrus stared at him and the blonde looked down, sheepishly. 

“Sorry, I know I said I’ll listen to your side now but I just… remembered that that was how it was with me.”

The ghost chuckled. “It’s okay. You’re completely right. That was what happened with me, too. I was constantly scared about my family finding out. I knew they loved me but… did they love me enough to accept me?”

He bit his lip. “When I came out to Andi, I thought things would be better. And, they were, in a way. We had this secret understanding when it came to Jonah and she knew she could always talk to me. Sometimes, a little too much.”

He chuckled again but it was devoid of humor. “She kissed him in front of me, you know. Right in front of me. I’m sure Andi didn’t mean to. She was caught up in the moment. I mean, who wouldn’t be? The guy wrote her a love song! And I was okay with it… I really was… They were happy… so… happy.”

_“I unloaded a lot on Cyrus and he just let me. That was the type of person he was.”_

T.J. held a gasp in, his own chest clenching.

Andi and Jonah had kissed right in front of Cyrus. That explained the deep guilt he saw earlier in Andi’s eyes as she spoke about Cyrus. She had hurt Cyrus but didn’t realize it until it was too late.

Meanwhile, Cyrus continued talking, as if he didn’t just reveal his deepest and most intimate heartache to T.J. 

“I don’t know when exactly it started happening. Maybe around the time Buffy moved? I was suddenly always so upset… and sad… and angry… I couldn’t eat or sleep and everything felt like a chore. And my anxiety attacks started happening more frequently. My mom… she figured it out. She had me see someone, someone who wasn’t my stepmother. I never told the girls or Jonah, I didn’t want to worry them. I put on a face for them and I guess I was a better actor than I thought because they never suspected anything was wrong. It helped that they were preoccupied. Andi was helping her parents plan their wedding. Buffy was working on the new girls’ basketball team. And Jonah was busy with his music and dating this new girl after he and Andi broke up. They pretty much left me to do my own thing.”

He breathed out, leaning back against the headboard. “I wanted to come out to my Bubbe Rose. Out of all my family, aside from my parents, she was the one person I knew I could always count on. And if I came out to her, I knew she would still love me and maybe, I’d have some support. Maybe I would finally have the guts to tell my parents. But before… before I could do that…” His hands shook as he brushed invisible tears from his cheek. “She died. She was sick but she didn’t tell anyone how bad it was. And I was so mad at myself for not noticing… for being too late.”

“I’m sorry, Cyrus,” T.J. whispered, placing a hand over his and squeezing gently.

The boy shook his head. “I had many regrets. But, no use dwelling on those now. And I’m sure Bubbe Rose wouldn’t want me to. Hey, I’ll probably see her soon once we figure out this whole unfinished business thing. And I can tell her.”

T.J.’s throat was dry all of a sudden. “Cyrus… how did you…?”

The ghost finally looked at him. “How did I die?”

Wordlessly, T.J. nodded.

Cyrus’ lip quivered as he visibly trembled. “I didn’t mean to,” he said, softly. “It was an accident.”

“You said that,” T.J. replied, gently. “But… how? Andi said you took… pills?”

Cyrus swallowed. “Yeah. I had trouble sleeping so I started taking them. It wasn’t a huge dose, just enough to get me through the night so I could still wake up on time for school the next day. But, after Bubbe Rose died, my insomnia just kept getting worse. I kept waking up before morning and couldn’t fall back asleep. So, one night, after waking up again, I decided to take some more. I wasn’t supposed to but I didn’t really think about the consequences. I just wanted to sleep and dream and stop the pain of everything.”

His brow furrowed. “I remember feeling awful… dizzy… and so much pain… I wanted to throw up… I might have… Then, I passed out. And… next thing I knew… I was standing next to my body at the hospital. My parents were crying and they couldn’t see or hear me. The doctor told them they managed to get most of the drugs out of my body but the damage had taken place. I was brain dead. And it would take a miracle for me to wake up. The only reason I was still breathing was because of the life support machine. Otherwise… I’m dead.”

He turned to T.J. now, sad eyes meeting his gaze. “I didn’t want that to happen. Please believe me.”

“I believe you,” T.J. said, immediately. “And that’s why I want to help you wake up.”

Cyrus groaned. “T.J., please.”

“Why are you so against this? Don’t you want to come back?”

“You don’t think I’ve tried? I’ve tried! Several times that I’ve lost count!”

The items on T.J.’s desk began to shake due to Cyrus’ seething fury. T.J. needed to calm him down before anything broke but he was stuck frozen in his position.

“I did what ghosts did in movies and tried to fuse with my body but it just pushed me out. Even now, with this whole unfinished business thing. Clearly, getting Andi and Buffy to be friends again wasn’t it. I’m still here! Nothing’s working, T.J.! I’m stuck like this! I’m dead and I’ve accepted it! Why can’t you?!”

“Because I don’t want to lose you! Okay?!”

The shaking stopped and all was still again.

Cyrus was looked thunderstruck, mouth slightly open in surprise.

T.J. blushed as he quickly added, “You’re my friend, Cyrus. I just want you to be alive and okay and… here. I don’t want to lose you.”

Finally, for the first time all night, Cyrus smiled. Really _smiled_. In that warm way that lit up his face and made his brown eyes sparkle.

“Thank you,” he said, softly. “I don’t think there’s any hope for me. But, it’s nice to know that someone else does.”

Realizing he was still holding the brunette’s hand, T.J. gently gave it a squeeze. “I won’t give up. I’ll find a way.”

Cyrus continued to smile. “Okay,” he agreed but T.J. knew he was simply agreeing so they wouldn’t talk about it anymore.

He had that resolved look on his face, one that said he didn’t want to argue further.

And T.J. didn’t want to fight with him either. Now that he heard Cyrus’ side of the story, now that he knew Cyrus never wanted to die, it made him even more determined to try and save him.

No, not try.

He would save him. Even if Cyrus didn’t want him to, he would.

“You should go to bed.” The boy squeezed his hand. “You had a long day, right? And I woke you up. Go to sleep.”

Now that he mentioned it, the fatigue began to settle and take over him. His eyes suddenly felt heavier, his body weakening. Yet, T.J. held Cyrus’ hand even tighter.

“Stay?” he asked, hoping that he didn’t sound too clingy.

He just didn’t want Cyrus to disappear.

The ghost chuckled and nodded. “I’ll be here. Go to sleep.”

T.J. felt himself lowering back against his pillows. He wasn’t sure if it was his own movement or if Cyrus was working some ghostly powers on him, but nonetheless, the soft mattress felt heavenly to his tired body.

“Don’t leave, okay?” he said, as his eyes closed and his vision plunged in darkness.

He wished he could hold him. But, he would settle for their linked hands.

“I won’t,” Cyrus’ soothing voice promised.

And with that, T.J. drifted off to sleep.

* * *

When T.J. woke up the next morning, it was to a soft humming. Forcing his eyes open and flinching a little when the sun hit his gaze, he managed to spot Cyrus’ shimmery form sitting by the window, flipping through one of T.J.’s gaming magazines.

T.J. allowed himself a moment to just watch him, wondering how he was doing after everything that happened the day before. From his vantage point, Cyrus looked perfectly normal. Content, even, as his eyes roamed the pages of the magazine and hummed a random little song under his breath.

But, then again, after everything T.J. learned, he wondered if the ghost was just putting on another façade so he wouldn’t worry T.J.

Cyrus looked up and met T.J.’s eyes. He beamed. “Good morning, Sixth Sense.”

Oh, so they were back to nicknames. 

T.J. slowly sat up then stretched, feeling his muscles crack. “Morning, Ghost Boy.” He flashed a smile. “How are you feeling?”

A brow raised. “I should be asking you that question. Still have the urge to save my soul from heading towards the light?”

He said it in a joking tone but T.J. was stone-cold serious when he replied, “Yeah.”

Cyrus’ smile faltered a little. Sighing, he put the magazine away. “I meant what I said last night, T.J. I’ve accepted my fate. So should you.”

“I can’t promise you that,” he replied, honestly. “I’m sorry, but you’re my friend and I want to help you. If there’s anything I can do, I will.”

The other boy sighed again. “You’re so stubborn,” he huffed.

T.J. only shrugged as he got out of bed and stretched again. The carpet tickled his toes and he wiggled them against the fabric. Outside, the sky was clear and the clouds were out. It was still early in the morning.

“Do you want to go out?” he asked the ghost.

Cyrus’ eyes widened. “G-Go out?”

“Yeah. Like on a walk. I could use the exercise. Wanna come with me?”

“Oh! A walk! Right!” Cyrus nervously laughed as he got to his feet. “Sure, that sounds great.”

“Great!” T.J. walked over to his closet to grab a hoodie. “Meet you out front?”

Cyrus nodded before disappearing from sight.

After changing into the hoodie and basketball shorts and putting on a pair of old sneakers, T.J. grabbed his phone and headphones and made his way down to the kitchen. His mother was already there, toast and a glass of orange juice in front of her as she perused the morning paper.

She looked up when T.J. entered. “Good morning, honey. Feeling better?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna go for a quick walk.”

It wasn’t unusual for him to wake up early on weekends and go for a walk or a jog so she didn’t even bat an eyelash.

“Be careful.”

Nodding, T.J. lifted his hood over his head as he walked to the door.

Cyrus was already there, examining the row of flowers by the fence. He once told T.J. that they were his stepmother’s doing to help her patients relax and brighten the atmosphere surrounding the house.

They made eye contact and T.J. nodded, sticking the headphones in his ears but not turning his music on. The ghost fell into step beside him.

“So… park?” T.J. asked.

Cyrus hummed in agreement. “I like the park.” He looked at T.J. “What’s with the headphones?”

“So I can talk to you without people thinking I’m talking to myself. I can pretend I’m on the phone with someone. It’s very effective, I used to do it a lot back in San Francisco.”

“Do you miss it? San Francisco?”

T.J. shrugged. “Sometimes. I mean, that’s where I grew up and it was my home for a while. But, all the ghosts there know who I am. I could never get a moment of peace. At least, here, you’re the only ghost who does.”

“That makes me feel special.”

T.J. braved a wink at him. “You are.”

Looking embarrassed, Cyrus turned away.

They walked the rest of the way to the park in silence. It was the first time they hung out that wasn’t in T.J.’s room or the living room when his mom and sister weren’t home. Under the rays of the sun, Cyrus was almost transparent, but if T.J. moved his hand just a bit closer to his form, he could still touch him. He resisted the urge to hold his hand. (He was already embarrassed about his clingy behavior last night.) 

A few ghosts were out and about and T.J. made sure his gaze was straight as he ignored them. Cyrus waved to a few who waved back. Some asked who T.J. was and Cyrus cheerily responded that he was haunting him.

“I thought you didn’t talk to the others,” T.J. said under his breath.

“I say ‘hi’ now and then but I never stop to have conversations. Learned that lesson the first time. He was an old man who fell off a ladder during a bad storm back in the 60’s. He’s still bitter about his death and I barely escaped his ramblings. He haunts one of the hospital rooms on the same floor where my body is.”

T.J. hummed. “Ghosts are chatty.”

“Am I chatty?”

“Hell, yes.”

“Hey!”

T.J. only chuckled in response.

They finally reached the entrance to the park.

“Mind if I jog?” T.J. asked, turning on his music now.

Cyrus nodded. “I’ll follow you.”

“Thanks.”

After a few stretches and mapping out a route in his head, T.J. took off. The early morning air felt good and he breathed it all in, his body relaxing. Eminem was pumping in his ears, urging him on. From the corner of his eye, he could see Cyrus floating along next to him.

Based on Andi and Buffy’s stories, he knew Cyrus wasn’t athletic. In fact, he was told that the boy was quite clumsy. T.J. couldn’t really tell because as a ghost, Cyrus could simply float along, gliding rather than walking. So, even if he was barely moving next to T.J., he could still keep up with his jog.

He jogged for a while, following a path through the park. There were barely any people yet so it was nice and peaceful. By the time he made it to the playground, he was sweating and his lungs were burning, but the exercise felt good.

“Oh, the swings!”

T.J. smiled in amusement as Cyrus bounded over to the swing set and settled in.

“They’re my favorite,” he explained when T.J. flashed him a questioning look.

The blonde chuckled and headed for the swing next to the ghost. It had been a while since he last played on a swing set. There was a park he and Amber used to frequent back in San Francisco but there were always too many people there. The swings were popular so he rarely had a chance to have a turn.

“So… you came here often?” he asked, internally wincing at how much it sounded like a cliché pick-up line.

“Only when I was feeling bad about myself,” Cyrus replied as he began to swing. “So… fairly often, yeah.”

T.J. chuckled and mimicked him. “Did it help?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

T.J. wondered if he came here a lot before his accidental overdose. Did he have someone else to swing with? Maybe Andi? Buffy? Jonah? Anyone so he wasn’t lonely. 

They swung in silence for a while.

If anyone were to walk by, they’d see T.J. on the swings but would probably freak out at the empty swing moving next to him. At the moment, though, he didn’t really care. Cyrus looked happy and T.J. didn’t want to ruin it for him.

A few ways away, by a large tree, a lone girl in a poofy dress played alone. She ran around the tree, hid behind it then jumped out, and ran around the tree again. And again. Over and over.

“What’s her story?” he asked Cyrus. “Do you know?”

Cyrus’ swinging slowed. “Her name is Victoria. Seven years old. I think she was playing here when she was killed. Not sure how, exactly. But…the others say it was brutal.”

Cyrus pulled his gaze away from the girl but didn’t resume swinging.

T.J. finally spotted the splotches of red on the girl’s skirt and also looked away. His heart ached, wondering how he could help her. But, then, he had to remember that he was done fraternizing with ghosts. The only ghost he wanted to help right then was Cyrus. Call him selfish because he was, but he didn’t want any distractions from his goal.

“Do you want to help her?” Cyrus asked, softly.

T.J. shook his head.

“But you’re determined to help me.”

“You’re different,” he replied, honestly.

“What makes me different?”

“You just… are.”

Cyrus hummed.

Worry filled T.J. all of a sudden. What if Cyrus saw him differently now? What if he thought he was selfish and wanted nothing to do with him anymore? What if he thought T.J. was an awful person?

“It must be hard… being able to see ghosts and wishing you can help but you just can’t. I don’t know how you do it, Teej. You’re amazing.”

T.J.’s head turned so hard that he felt his neck almost snap, eyes wide in surprise.

“W-What?” he blurted out.

Cyrus smiled at him. “I think you’re amazing. Being able to handle all the responsibility of your ability from a young age. And, even now, you’re helping me.” He looked towards Victoria again, who was still playing by herself. “Even if you can’t help Victoria, I can see that you want to. But, I get it. You can’t help everyone.” He turned back to look at T.J. “But, you’re helping me and I appreciate it a lot. Thank you.”

T.J.’s mouth opened and closed. He bit his lip. “Don’t you think I’m selfish, though? I want to help only you and no one else.”

Cyrus furrowed his brows. “You spent the last couple of years of your life helping ghosts in San Francisco. You got in trouble a lot just by helping them. And you protected your mom and Amber. That’s not selfish to me. And, if there’s anything I learned from my 3 psychologist and 1 life coach parents is that there are times when it’s okay to be selfish about our wants and needs. Sometimes, I…” He took a deep breath and stared at the ground. “Sometimes, I wish I had done that more when I was still alive.”

T.J.’s breath hitched.

He didn’t know what to say. Cyrus’ selflessness knew no bounds and he didn’t know how to react to it.

“Can I ask you something?” he said, instead.

Cyrus lifted his head to look at him. “Sure.”

“When you get back to your body-.”

“T.J., please-.”

“No, no, just… humor me. Please?”

Cyrus sighed. “Fine.”

T.J. cleared his throat. “When you get back to your body, what’s the first thing you want to do?”

“Oh.” Cyrus pursed his lips, his brow furrowing as he thought deeply. “I guess… hug everyone.”

“Including me?” T.J. teased.

“Of course,” Cyrus chuckled.

“And what’s the second thing you want to do?”

“T.J., what is this?”

“I’m genuinely curious. Come on. Humor me.”

Cyrus rolled his eyes but nonetheless, tilted his head to the side in thought.

T.J. waited, patiently for his answer.

Finally, Cyrus seemed to have come to an answer. “Go to The Spoon and have some baby taters and a milkshake.”

Of course. At that, T.J. smiled. “That sounds amazing. Then, we’ll do that when you wake up, okay? After you hug me, of course.”

Cyrus made some sort of choking sound, looking at T.J. like he had three heads.

“Wait. What?”

T.J. shrugged. “I said what I said.”

The brunette huffed. Steeling his gaze as he met the blonde’s eyes, he asked, “Why are you so determined to wake me up from my coma?”

The question caught T.J. off-guard. He felt the blood rush to his cheeks. “I… I told you already. You’re my friend and I…”

Cyrus perked up in interest. “You…?”

“I…” T.J. swallowed. “I care about you.”

The ghost smiled. “Thank you. I care about you, too. That’s why I don’t want you to hope too much about getting me back because it just might not happen.”

“You can be too negative, sometimes, you know that?”

“It’s how I’ve always approached the world. Less disappointments, that way.”

With a sigh, T.J. stood up. “Well, I’ll be the positive one for the both of us then.”

“Teej-.”

“Let’s go home.” T.J. smiled at him. “I can feel my stomach yelling at me ‘cause I didn’t eat breakfast before jogging.”

Although he still looked ready to argue, Cyrus clamped his mouth shut and silently stood up. They both took one last look at Victoria – the ghost was still playing her solitary game – before making their way out of the park and on their way home.

As soon as they reached the front door, Cyrus flashed him a sweet smile.

“I’ll be out all day. Don’t wait up for me, okay?”

Without letting T.J. respond, he disappeared. 


	10. The Blue Journal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m so sorry for the delay! It’s been such a busy week for me! Hopefully, this makes up for it!

“We’re visiting Cyrus this Saturday. Are you free?”

T.J. tried not to look too excited and had to restrain himself from quickly answering Buffy’s inquiry.

He was having breakfast with her, Andi, and Jonah before school. 

(Marty would have joined them too, but he had morning training for track. Libby and Walker were also absent that morning, probably having breakfast with just the two of them somewhere else.)

After getting to know him, T.J. didn’t know anyone else who smiled as much as Jonah did. The boy was like the sun - all bright and warm - and it was a wonder why he hadn’t blinded any of them yet with his dimples and pearly white teeth. 

T.J. could see why Cyrus liked him. And if he felt a little hint of jealousy...Well, he was willing to ignore it because Jonah was just so darn nice.

“Yeah,” T.J. replied. He paused for a moment before asking, “Can I come?”

“Duh! That’s why I asked!” Buffy grinned. “I’m sure his parents would want to meet you since you live in his dad’s house now.”

“Cool. I wanna thank them for the awesome room.”

And the awesome person they raised their son to become, but T.J. kept that to himself.

Andi fiddled with her banana nut muffin. “You think they’re mad at us for not visiting in a long time?” she asked, worriedly.

“I’m sure they’ll understand,” Jonah responded, with a smile as always. “I mean, I would have loved to visit him more but I didn’t want to go alone. And…” He trailed off, his smile fading a little. “It’s kind of hard to see him like that.”

Silence fell upon them. Buffy looked down at her carton of orange juice. Andi continued picking at her muffin. Jonah just sat there, frowning. And T.J. eyed each and every one of them, honing in on the guilt and longing they were exuding.

They really treasured Cyrus. Every mention of him could cause a once jovial atmosphere to drop drastically. It only strengthened his will to do everything he could to bring Cyrus back.

It had been a week since he found out the truth and T.J. did all the research. He went through every paranormal book he could find in the school library’s limited collection and the Shadyside Public Library. He went online, reading through forums and blogs. He even considered consulting an occult witch he found on YouTube but Amber freaked out when he told her and yelled at him until he promised not to.

“So…what are Cyrus’ parents like?” he randomly asked.

The question prompted smiles from his friends (his friends!) as they all chimed in, telling their stories in a fond tone. 

* * *

****T.J. arrived home that day to find Cyrus sitting cross-legged on his bed, reading one of his books. When he looked closer, the title read _“The Two Towers”_. Cyrus was a Tolkien fan, too.

He looked up just as T.J. pushed the door shut and beamed. “Welcome home! How was school?”

T.J. tried to ignore the fluttering in his chest and the bubble of joy warming his stomach. It happened often now. Instead, he dropped his backpack by his desk and walked over to the bed.

“It was okay,” he answered, settling down beside the ghost. “Had a math quiz, that wasn’t fun.”

“But, the tutoring helps, right?”

T.J. took a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess. Just wish my brain worked right.”

There was a short, silent pause before the sound of a book shutting close reached his ears. Cyrus had put the book away and scooted closer to him, their arms touching.

“Your brain is working just fine,” he said, gently. “It’s just wired differently. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

T.J. blinked in surprise. 

No one had ever said that to him before. Ever since they found out when he got tested back in Middle School, the shame of his dyscalculia continued to follow him. Sure, his mom and sister were sympathetic, but they were just as lost and clueless about it as he was. Nonetheless, they supported him as much as they could despite his learning disability. 

But, he was never told that his brain was just fine… that there was nothing wrong with him.

“Thanks,” he managed, smiling. “So, what did you do today?”

“Oh! I went to the park for a bit! It was a nice day and the ducks were out! Then, I came back here and immersed myself in the magical world of Middle Earth.”

“Sounds like you had a relaxing day.”

Cyrus shrugged. “Yeah, well, nothing much for me to do, really.”

Right. Because he was a ghost.

T.J. cleared his throat. “Hey, so, Buffy told me that they’re visiting you at the hospital this Saturday.”

Cyrus’ eyes sparkled. “Really? That’s so sweet of them!”

“And… they asked me to go with them.” T.J. hesitated before asking, “Is that okay with you?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t it be? And you might meet my parents! All four of them! This is so exciting!”

Cyrus’ hands were excitedly flailing about the place. The boy was practically vibrating in his seat.

T.J. had to hold back a chuckle. “Yeah, about that… is there… anything you’d like me to pass on to your parents? Any messages?”

“Oh, I haven’t thought about that.” Cyrus pursed his lips in thought. “Well… you know, one of my regrets was not coming out to them. I wish they knew the full truth about me.”

T.J. knew the feeling. He had come out to Amber first when he was 12 and she supported him when he decided to come out to their mom a year later. It was like a giant weight off his chest. Now, if only he could tell her about this other ability. It felt more daunting than simply telling his mom that he was gay.

“Oh. Well, do you want me to say something?” he asked. “It might be a little tricky ‘cause Andi and Buffy don’t know that I know. And I don’t want to make it seem like I’m outing you, you know. Technically, you’re still alive-.”

“Brain dead.”

“But, they see you as alive.”

Cyrus frowned at him before simply sighing and shaking his head. Then, his eyes widened.

“Wait… there is a way. That box in the closet still has my journal.”

“You kept a diary?” T.J.’s eyebrow raised.

“Journal!” Cyrus huffed. “It’s where I wrote my most inner thoughts and feelings to help me cope. And… I also wrote a lot about questioning my sexuality and finally admitting it. You can give them that.”

T.J. pursed his lips. “That could work. Technically, it’s coming from you, right? I can say I found it in my room… your room… our room.”

When Cyrus’ cheeks darkened, T.J. realized what his words implied.

“Oh, you know I didn’t mean-.”

“I know what you meant,” Cyrus chuckled.

Embarrassed and feeling a little red and warm, himself, the blonde took the opportunity to head for the closet. He pried open the loose floorboard and took out Cyrus’ box. The photos were now in Andi and Buffy’s possession but the blue notebook was still there.

He set it down on the floor and sat down cross-legged. He felt Cyrus move next to him as he opened the top. The blue notebook laid there, as if waiting to be revealed once more.

Cyrus reached in, taking a hold of it. He ran his fingers over the cover, looking contemplative, before opening it up. He thumbed through the pages, eyes briefly scanning them before he paused on a page. He stared at it for a moment before passing it over to T.J.

The entry was dated two years ago and in it, Cyrus spoke about meeting Jonah Beck for the first time, describing his hair, eyes, and dimples in detail using huge words that T.J. would never associate anyone using in a diary…. Journal.

And the Jonah-centric entries continued on for several more pages. The more he read, the more T.J.’s stomach churned, and not in a pleasant way.

“You…uh… really like Jonah,” he managed, hoping his voice didn’t give away his slight jealousy.

Cyrus shrugged. “He was my first crush. And the one who made me realize I was gay.” He flashed a pointed look at T.J. “I’m sure you had one.”

T.J. coughed. “Um… yeah.”

Looking intrigued now, Cyrus grinned and wiggles his eyebrows. “Ooohh...Who was it?”

“Uh…” T.J. hesitated.

“Come on, you know about mine. I wanna know about yours, too. Who was it?”

So, they were sharing crushes now like they were in middle school or a Slumber Party or something? What next? Spin the bottle?

Cyrus was vibrating in excitement, genuinely interested in knowing. 

Sighing in defeat, T.J. relented. “He was this guy who used to live in our apartment building back in San Francisco. He was about three years older than me. I met him when I was ten and he taught me how to play basketball. At first, I thought I just saw him like a brother, ‘cause it wasn’t like I had an older brother to compare him to. Then, he introduced his girlfriend to me and I… got mad. He never figured it out, though. Just thought I was being a weird kid.”

His name was Jason and T.J. stopped talking to him after the girlfriend incident. 

He had been terrified of his feelings, choosing to ignore them for the longest time, just like how he ignored his abilities.

Cyrus’ little chuckle broke through his thoughts. “Crushes, am I right?” he joked.

T.J.’s lips twitched. “Yeah.” He looked down at the journal again. “Are you sure you want me to give this to your parents?”

“Yeah, they deserve to know.” The ghost followed T.J.’s gaze. “Maybe this is my unfinished business. Can I trust you to get it to them, safely?”

T.J.’s chest twitched, hating the thought of Cyrus moving on. But, he looked so hopeful. He wanted to do this. And, he did promise to help Cyrus. He would never go back on his word. 

Reaching out, T.J. took hold of the other boy’s cold hand and squeezed it. “You can count on me, Ghost Boy.”

Cyrus squeezed his hand back. “Thanks, Sixth Sense.”

* * *

Although the wait felt long and excruciating, Saturday finally rolled around.

After lunch, T.J. had gotten dressed in his nicest hoodie, stuffed Cyrus’ journal into his backpack, and bid his mom and sister goodbye before heading out to meet Andi and the others at The Red Rooster. From there, they would take the bus to Shadyside Memorial Hospital.

Strangely, Cyrus was nowhere to be seen all morning. It kind of saddened T.J. as he left the house but, nonetheless, he ventured on. He had a mission to do, after all.

As he walked, headphones on, a sudden presence behind him made the hair on his arms stand up. But, he tried not to let his panic show.

“Hey,” a voice broke through the classic rock playing in his ears.

To his relief, the voice was familiar. He felt himself relax as Cyrus glided up next to him.

“What are you doing here?” T.J. asked in a low tone as he subtly turned off the music. “Not that I’m not happy to see you but I haven’t seen you all day.”

“I just needed some alone time to think.” Cyrus stared off into the distance. “And I realized that I’ve been avoiding seeing Andi and Buffy because I couldn’t bear to see them mad at each other. But, now that they’re getting along again, and Jonah, too, I want to see them. And… I want to see how my parents react when they read my journal.”

T.J. felt his stomach churn. “Do you really think that’s your unfinished business? For your parents to know?”

He wasn’t sure about this mission, anymore.

Cyrus shrugged. “I don’t know. But, it’s something that I know I have to do. For my own peace of mind and theirs.”

Well, T.J. couldn’t argue with that. So, he simply nodded and silently continued on his way. Cyrus was uncharacteristically silent and he realized that the ghost didn’t talk for T.J.’s own benefit. There were a lot of people out and about and even if he could pretend to talk on the phone, a serious conversation such as theirs was best done in private.

As he got closer to The Red Rooster, he easily spotted Buffy’s curls, Andi’s colorful headband, and Jonah’s dimples. Clutched in Andi’s hands was a bouquet of white and purple flowers.

He bounded over to them. “Hey! Am I late?”

“Only by about five minutes,” Buffy replied, teasingly. “Don’t worry, we can still make the bus.”

“Hi, guys,” Cyrus said, smiling sadly at his friends who couldn’t see him. “I miss you.”

No one caught the way T.J.’s face fell at that, eager the others were to get going.

The bus ride took about fifteen minutes and another minute or two walk from the bus stop. T.J. followed the three as they made their way inside the hospital. They gave their names to the receptionist and the reason for their visit before they were given passes. Then, they took the elevator up to the 4th floor.

All the while, Cyrus glided quietly behind them.

They found the room and Buffy knocked on the door. It opened seconds later by a woman who smiled when she saw them.

“Girls!” she exclaimed, joyfully.

She opened her arms and Andi and Buffy fell into them as she wrapped them in a hug. Then, she spotted Jonah and gave him a hug, too. When her eyes fell on T.J., he nervously straightened his back, immediately.

“Hi, Mrs. Goodman,” he greeted. “I’m T.J. Kippen.”

“He’s the one I told you about,” Buffy explained. “The one who moved into Mr. Goodman’s old house.”

“Oh, yes. Of course.” She extended a hand to him. “I’m Leslie. It’s so nice to meet you, T.J.”

T.J. politely accepted her handshake. “You, too.”

Leslie stepped aside. “Come on in. I’m watching him this afternoon but Sharon is coming by later.” She turned to T.J. “Sharon is Cyrus’ father’s wife. They owned the house you live in now but they had to sell it when it was clear that Cyrus…” Her voice began to break. “Can’t wake up yet.”

She sounded hopeful, but there was a strain behind that hope.

Across the room, Cyrus had reappeared and was watching them. 

T.J. paused by the door, his eyes immediately falling on the bed and the figure surrounded by machines that made faint beeping sounds. He had various tubes and wires connected to him, the hospital blanket tucked neatly and lovingly over the lower half of his body.

Cyrus.

Buffy was the first to reach the comatosed boy, her hand immediately reaching out to hold his unmoving hand as she settled on the empty chair beside the bed.

“Hey, Cy,” she said, softly. “It’s Buffy. It’s been a while, huh?”

T.J. had never heard Buffy sound so soft and… vulnerable.

“Sorry we haven’t come by to see you. It’s just been… difficult. But, we’re here now. All of us. Andi, Jonah, and I. And, we brought a friend.”

She turned to T.J., who suddenly had everyone’s eyes on him.

Nervously, he moved closer and cleared his throat. “Uh… hey, Cyrus. I’m T.J. It’s nice to meet you.”

Ghost Cyrus chuckled. “It’s nice to meet you, too, T.J.,” he piped, cheekily.

T.J.’s lip twitched, holding back his laughter lest he offended the others in the room.

But, they all smiled and the tension in the room appeared to dissipate.

It shocked T.J. to the core to see Cyrus’ body. His real, breathing, still body. 

The boy was pale, his cheeks gaunt and not quite as prominent, and he looked... broken. Not like the bright version of Cyrus he had gotten to know. He was almost a perfect twin of the ghost standing in the corner. 

And T.J.’s heart ached at seeing all the wires attached to him and the tube stuck down his throat. He didn’t like seeing his friend like this. He wanted him to wake up… to open those pretty brown eyes filled with life and look at T.J.

He would do everything he could to make that happen.

Andi placed her bouquet on Cyrus’ bedside before sidling up next to Buffy.

“Hey, Cy. I made you something.” She produced a colorful threaded bracelet from her pocket and wrapped it around the boy’s thin wrist, next to the plastic hospital bracelet. “Giving you a little color, okay? So when you wake up, you’ll know that we were here.” Her lower lip trembled and her voice got softer. “We’re still waiting for you.”

“Yeah, CyGuy.” Jonah moved to Cyrus’ other side. “So, you gotta wake up soon, okay? Remember? I promised to help you perfect your skateboarding. I know the last time didn’t go so well, but we’ll do it right, this time. Okay?” His breath hitched. “Okay, Cy?”

T.J. couldn’t move. He wanted to. But, every muscle of his was frozen as his friends spoke to Cyrus while Cyrus’ ghost fondly but sadly watched them in the corner. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned his head to see Cyrus’ mother smiling kindly at him.

“Why don’t you take a seat, T.J.?” she told him, gesturing to the loveseat opposite the bed.

T.J. accepted the offer, removing his backpack and placing it on the floor.

It wasn’t the right time to give Cyrus’ mom the journal. He would have to wait.

Cyrus’ ghost settled next to him, smiling. “That’s my mom,” he said, proudly. “She recently cut her hair. It looks nice.”

T.J. could only smile in response but Cyrus didn’t take offense, knowing T.J. couldn’t answer while there were others around.

“What do you think he would say if he was awake right now?” Jonah randomly asked, his gaze still on Cyrus.

“He’d probably pout and get mad that we were gone for so long,” Buffy replied, laughing. “But, he wouldn’t be angry for too long.”

“No, I’d never get mad at you, guys… too much,” ghost Cyrus stated.

“He doesn’t sound like someone who’d be mad at you, guys, too much,” T.J. stated.

Cyrus flashed him a grateful smile as the others laughed.

“That’s so true,” Andi stated, brushing Cyrus’ hair to the side with her fingers. “How is that he still has the same haircut?”

“Oh, I’ve been cutting his hair,” Leslie volunteered the information from her place by the door. “I figured that as soon as he wakes up, he’d prefer to still look like himself. Although…” A smile played on her lips. “He looks older, doesn’t he? And that liquid diet just got rid of all his baby fat.”

“Mom cuts my hair,” Cyrus clarified to T.J.

“That’s really sweet,” T.J. said. “He looks great, Mrs. Goodman.”

The woman beamed at him, a smile so reminiscent of Cyrus. “Thank you, dear.”

“You heard that, Cyrus?” Andi said. “T.J. thinks you look great. So, you should wake up so you can see it, too.”

A moment passed with no one saying anything, only watching Cyrus’ body laying still in hope.

Beside T.J., Cyrus’ ghost sighed.

Leslie broke the silence. “So, kids. How’s school?”

That got everyone talking again, happy at the distraction.

Leslie loved to talk, T.J. learned. He now saw where Cyrus got the trait from. She talked to them about anything – how great the hospital staff was, the antics of her neighbors, and funny childhood stories about Cyrus, Andi, and Buffy.

An hour later, she had led most of the conversations and T.J. had known more information about strangers than he really cared to know. But, at least he got to listen to stories about Cyrus, who looked like he wanted to disappear in embarrassment (he could have if he wanted to and T.J. didn’t know why he stayed).

“We best be going Mrs. Goodman,” said Buffy as everyone got to their feet.

“Thank you for having us,” added Andi.

Leslie nodded and opened her arms to hug everyone. “Thank you all for coming. I hope to see you again. I’m sure Cyrus would like that.”

“We’ll definitely come again,” Jonah promised as pulled away from her hug.

When it was his turn, T.J. hesitated. “You, guys, go ahead. I, uh, have something I need to say to Mrs. Goodman. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

His friends flashed him curious looks but thankfully, they didn’t ask.

When the door closed, he turned back to the older woman. Cyrus’ ghost stood behind her, nervously wringing his hands. He caught T.J.’s gaze and nodded, giving him the okay.

“Um, Mrs. Goodman… There’s something I need to give you.” With that, he reached into his backpack and pulled out the blue notebook. “I found this in my room. I think it might have been your son’s room so… I figured I’d give it to you.”

Leslie carefully took the notebook, like she was afraid it was going to break if she touched it the wrong way.

T.J. nervously stuffed his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “I’m sorry, I kind of opened it and read some of it before I realized what it was. But… I think you should take a look. I’m sure Cyrus would want you to know.”

“T-Thank you, dear,” she replied, unable to keep her eyes off it.

T.J. nodded before accepting her short hug.

“I’ll stay for a bit,” Cyrus called out after him. “See you at home.”

As T.J. closed the door, he caught a glimpse of Leslie sitting on the edge of comatosed Cyrus’ bed and opening the journal. Cyrus’ ghost sat next to her, wrapping his arms around his mother, cuddling close. The woman visibly shivered yet continued reading the page she had opened to.

Just a few days ago, Cyrus had chosen an entry and marked it with the little ribbon that served as a bookmark, wanting it to be the first thing his parents read.

“Oh, Cyrus…” Leslie breathed, bringing a hand up to her mouth. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” She turned to Cyrus’ comatosed form and took his hand, holding it close to her heart. “I should have known.”

It felt like an intrusion, watching Cyrus’ mother react to her son coming out to her via a private journal.

Releasing a breath, T.J. closed the door all the way and headed down to the lobby to meet up with his friends.

* * *

For most of the afternoon and well into the evening, T.J. was restless and worried that Cyrus wouldn’t come back.

If giving his parents a journal full of his personal thoughts and confessions was truly his unfinished business, then T.J. may never see him again.

And, to be honest, it scared T.J.

Cyrus wouldn’t move on without saying goodbye, right?

“Nice to see you out of your room for once.”

T.J. turned away from the microwave where he had been blankly staring at the popcorn bag spinning as it made popping noises. 

Amber made her way towards him and hopped up on a stool at the counter.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, confused.

“Well, you always seem like you have no desire of ever leaving your room,” she huffed, sounding almost bitter. “You spend all your time with your little ghost boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” T.J. spluttered, his cheeks heating up.

Amber raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. “You might as well be. You barely have any time for me.”

T.J. opened his mouth to deny it but the look on her face stopped him. She was genuinely upset. And it dawned on him that in the last couple of weeks or so, he had been so preoccupied with helping Cyrus and spending time with him. He only really saw his sister during meal times at home and at The Spoon if she was working when he stopped by with his friends.

He and Amber often spent time together back in San Francisco, whether it was shopping, going to the movies, or just hanging out at home watching Netflix. But, lately, he was either out with Buffy and the others or holed up in his room with Cyrus. 

His mom never said a word about it, seeing as she was busy as well. But, it looked like Amber was feeling rather lonely. He didn’t even know if she had managed to make any new friends at Grant like he did (granted, that was due to Cyrus, but still).

He understood why Amber was unhappy with him and now felt guilty for ignoring his sister.

“Hey.” He walked closer and placed a hand over hers. “I’m sorry.”

Her lips twitched a little at his apology.

“How about you and I hang out tomorrow? We can go to the movies. We can ask mom, too, if she’s not feeling too lazy. We’ll make it a family day.”

He wanted to make a quip about wondering if he was truly the youngest in the family. But, seeing Amber break into a smile made him hold his tongue.

She played nonchalant. “Sure. Whatever.”

He grinned. “But, for tonight, just… let me hang out with Cyrus, okay? He had a pretty trying day. I just wanna cheer him up when he gets back.”

The microwave beeped, announcing that his popcorn was ready.

“You two are getting really close,” Amber stated, as she watched him pour the popcorn into a bowl. “Be careful, T.J.”

“Cyrus wouldn’t hurt me.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

He turned to see worry drawn all over his sister’s face.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt when he finally moves on,” she continued. “And I know you’re trying to find a way to get him back to his body, but T.J., he’s brain dead. There’s nothing for him to come back to-.”

“Don’t say that,” T.J. hissed, his eyes narrowing. “I can help him. I know I can. I just… need to figure out what I’m missing. There has to be a way.”

“T.J.-“

“I know you’re worried about me, Ambs. But, I know what I’m doing.”

He really didn’t but his pride and desire to keep Cyrus around was making him spout these lies. If he believed them enough, they might just come true.

Biting her lip, Amber hopped off her stool and walked over to him. “Just… know that I’m here for you, okay?”

His irritation slowly dissipated as his sister’s concern and support reminded him that she had always been his partner-in-crime and he loved her so. She was his big sister and the best one there was, even though he would never tell her to her face.

“Thanks, Ambs.”

He gave her a brief hug before grabbing his bowl of popcorn and heading back to his room.

When he entered, there was already a figure sitting on his bed, going through his Netflix selection on his laptop that he left open earlier before he went to get popcorn.

Cyrus looked up when the door closed. “T.J.! They have _‘Incredibles 2’_ now! Can we watch it?”

T.J. smiled and said, “Sure.”

Cyrus scooted over so he could make himself comfortable, pillow propped up on his back and the bowl of popcorn on his lap.

“Um…so… how were your parents?” he couldn’t help but ask.

Cyrus’ hand hovered over the trackpad. He bit his lip, appearing to contemplate before answering.

“They were accepting,” he said, happy smile playing on his lips. “Mom read my journal first. She… uh… cried.” He chuckled. “I guess I get the dramatics from her. I waited until my step-mom came by a couple of hours later. Mom showed her the journal. Then, they told my dad and step-dad over dinner.” He leaned back against T.J.’s other pillow behind him. “I wish I could have told them, myself. I wish I could feel their hugs and hear them tell me that they still loved me, no matter who I chose to love.” He sighed. “But, either way, it felt so…freeing.”

“I’m so happy for you, Cyrus.”

Cyrus’ eyes twinkled as they met his. “And I have you to thank, T.J.”

T.J. beamed. “Anything for a friend.”

“If it wasn’t for you, they wouldn’t know at all. To be honest, I’m ready to move on any minute now.” 

He chuckled.

And just like that, T.J.’s heart fell to his stomach. “Do you… feel any different? Like you’re fading? Or do you see a light? Or… something?”

To his relief, Cyrus shook his head. “No. No different than usual.” He sighed, sadly. “I guess that wasn’t my unfinished business. I had really hoped…”

Feeling a lump in his throat, T.J. swallowed, though painfully so. “Why do you want to move on?” he forced the question out.

Cyrus pursed his lips. “Didn’t you see my mom earlier? She was putting on a face for you, guys. To show you that she was still holding on. But… she’s not. Her hope is dying. And the same goes for my step-parents and my dad… My friends… They’re all waiting for me to wake up but it’s been more than a year since I fell into a coma. They’re losing hope but they’re still holding on. And I just… want them to let me go so they can move on with their lives. They deserve that.”

“But-,” T.J. started to protest but Cyrus interrupted him.

“I know what you’re going to say, T.J, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t.” His tone was cold and firm and it made T.J. not speak any further. “I’m thrilled that my parents accept me and I just want to celebrate that tonight. Please?”

Who was T.J. to deny him that?

Sighing, he nodded. “So… _‘Incredibles 2’_?”

A look of gratitude fell over Cyrus’ face and he nodded.

T.J. leaned over and clicked “play” on his laptop before settling back into his pillow. Beside him, Cyrus also leaned back, his shoulder touching T.J.’s lightly.

“Hey,” T.J. spoke up as the opening credits rolled on the screen. “I really am happy for you, Cyrus. You deserve everything.”

The ghost smiled up at him. “Thank you, T.J. For everything.”

The rest of the night passed, peacefully.


	11. Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m so incredibly sorry for the delay! A lot of things came up in my personal life and so writing became pretty impossible. 
> 
> So, I bear some sad news... this story is coming to a close. This will be the second to the last chapter and there will be an Epilogue as well. I just want to thank everyone for their support of this story! There were some bumps and hiccups along the way in terms of writing and although this isn’t my best work, I still enjoyed writing it very much and mostly due to everyone’s support and enthusiasm! You, guys, are the best!
> 
> Now, on to the chapter!

The seasons changed, quickly. School kept everyone busy. There were trips to the hospital almost every other week. 

Despite his sister’s disapproval, T.J. continued working on his side project, doing research and secretly talking to psychics to ask for their opinions and suggestions. 

Meanwhile, Cyrus’ spirit continued to haunt his bedroom. He didn’t seem to mind it all that much, though. In fact, he seemed perfectly content to just greet T.J. a “good morning” each day, wish him a fun day at school, and then welcome him back home in the afternoons. But, sometimes, there were hints of sadness and longing in his eyes whenever T.J. would talk about their friends. 

When T.J. wasn’t out with the others, he stayed home with Cyrus and they would spend the day watching movies or laze around. Sometimes, Cyrus joined him on his early morning jogs and they would take advantage of the empty park to swing a little on the playground. (The little ghost girl, Victoria, never looked their way. Not once.)

Soon, Fall turned to Winter. 

And just before school let out for the holiday break, Andi decided to throw a party and invited everyone she knew.

So, here was T.J., stubbornly trying to tie a tie around his neck but failing.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, Cyrus excitedly rambled on and on about the last party Andi had thrown that he had attended. Apparently, there were dance battles, rainbow wigs, Andi in a suit that glowed in the dark, and Andi’s mom as the DJ.

T.J. finally gave up on the tie and decided to go without it. He threw it on the bed and turned back to his mirror to fix his collar.

“How do I look?” He spun around to show Cyrus.

The ghost’s mouth fell slightly open, his brown eyes silently scanning T.J. from head to foot.

“You look great,” he breathed, getting on his feet and walking over to him. “The color brings out your eyes.”

T.J. blushed but silently thanked Amber for her help in choosing the light green button-down. And even though T.J. had done so already, he allowed Cyrus to straighten his collar and brush unseen dirt from his shoulders.

“You’re going to be the Belle of the Ball,” the ghost continued, smiling.

“Isn’t that something you say to girls?” T.J. teased.

“Well, I’m saying it to you. You look very handsome, T.J.”

T.J.’s lips quirked. “Thank you.” He paused, hesitating, before asking, “You sure you don’t want to come along? I’ll bring my headphones and pretend to talk to you on the phone.”

Cyrus bit his lower lip, appearing to seriously contemplate. “Tempting. But, I think it’s best that I just stay here tonight.” He looked pointedly at him. “But, you should have fun, okay?”

T.J. nodded. “Okay.”

Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around Cyrus in a tight hug. The shorter boy returned it, going on his tiptoes so he could tuck his head on top of T.J.’s shoulder.

T.J. wished he would come, if only to see him smile wide at the sight of his old friends.

It wasn’t that Cyrus was sad, exactly. More resolved and settled. He still didn’t approve of T.J.’s side project to send him back to his body, but he didn’t fight him much on it either. He still accompanied the group when they visited his body at the hospital.

But, there was wistful tone about him, lately. He seemed perfectly content to just watch his friends from a distance.

“T.J.! Are you done yet?!”

Amber’s voice and her insistent knocks on the door interrupted their hug. And, though T.J. was loathed to do so, he pulled away.

“I swear, you’re worse than a girl when getting ready!” Amber continued from behind the door. “Your hair doesn’t need that much hair gel, you dolt!”

T.J. groaned.

Why did Andi have to invite her too?! Apparently, his friend had gotten close with his sister as the artist spent most of her afternoons at The Spoon alone sometimes and Amber started giving her free milkshakes and chatting with her during breaks.

“Give me a minute!” he yelled back. “God! Just put on more lip gloss or something!”

He heard his sister huff before her footsteps echoed away.

“Sorry,” he apologized to the ghost but Cyrus just shook his head, fondly.

“It’s fine. She’s right, you should go so you don’t miss out on all the fun! And I promise you, you are going to have tons of fun! Andi throws the best parties!”

Cyrus patted his shoulders before stepping back.

T.J. bit his lip. “Cyrus, I…” He trailed off, his words stuck in his throat once more.

“Hmm? What is it?”

As the ghost looked back at him with innocent doe eyes, T.J.’s heart twitched and his stomach churned with nerves.

Instead of saying what was on his mind, he simply grabbed his coat from his closet and put it on.

“I’ll be home before ten,” he promised Cyrus.

Unaware of the turmoil in T.J.’s head, the boy chuckled. “I’ll be here.”

They bid each other goodbye before T.J. left his room and met up with Amber and his mom downstairs.

* * *

The party was as impressive as Cyrus’ stories, if not more. Bright fairy lights and shining streamers lined the walls. Andi’s mom was at the DJ booth while her dad’s band played live music. There were feather boas, giant sunglasses, and colorful party hats for everyone to accessorize with. The halls, living room, and dining room were filled with his dancing classmates.

T.J. found himself by the long table of snacks, munching on nachos and drinking sugary soda. A party hat was on his head, stuck there by Amber earlier before she went off to dance with Andi and Jonah.

He had chatted earlier with some of his teammates who were in attendance but they, too, eventually left him to take part in other party activities.

“Hey, Kippen.” Buffy sidled up to him, a purple feather boa around her neck and a red cup in her hand. “Enjoying yourself so far?”

T.J. grinned. “This dip is fantastic! Bowie made it?”

“Yep! Old family recipe, he says. He’s very proud of it.”

T.J. nodded. “It’s great.” He looked around. “Where’s Marty? Thought you two would be slow dancing or something.”

He smirked when Buffy blushed, looking embarrassed.

“Weirdo! The song’s not even a slow dance song! And why would I slow dance with Marty?!”

Cyrus had told him that the two had been dancing around each other since middle school. They had a brief falling out but Buffy had sought out Marty’s company again after Cyrus fell into his coma. Their friendship had rekindled but no more than that.

And T.J. didn’t understand why they hadn’t gotten together yet.

“You two just seem close,” he stated before taking a sip of his soda. “Everyone else can see that he’s crazy about you. And no matter how much you hide it, you are, too.”

“S-Shut up, Kippen! We’re just friends!” Buffy looked away, her cheeks still red.

“If you say so,” T.J. sang, his grin wide and teasing. “But, I’m just saying. If you don’t make a move now, you might regret it later.”

Buffy huffed. “Whatever.” Then, she turned to him with a sly smile. “What about you? Any girl caught your eye? Maybe someone here?” She nudged with him with an elbow. “Lots of pretty girls.”

T.J.’s stomach flip-flopped and he put the plate of nachos down and took another nervous sip of his drink. He hadn’t come out to them yet. There hadn’t been a good time to do so. He knew they would accept him, though, since they did love and accept Cyrus. But, the nerves and doubts were still there.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he gathered his nerves.

“Actually… I’m not into girls,” he said as casually as he could despite the fact that he felt like throwing up.

Buffy’s grin diminished a little as she comprehended his words. Then, her eyes widened as her mouth fell open.

“Oh,” she said.

With his heart thumping hard against his chest, T.J.’s body was on high-alert, an excuse ready on his lips and his legs about to bolt.

“Okay, any guys then?” Buffy asked, smiling sincerely.

And just like that, T.J. breathed, his heart calming down.

“Oh! Maybe Jonah?” Buffy teased, wiggling her brows. “He’s pretty cute. Everyone likes him.”

T.J. let out a laugh. Oh, he knew that, already. There was just something about that boy that drew everyone to him. Maybe it was the dimples. Cyrus did write a good page and a half about them in his journal.

“Yeah, he is,” T.J. agreed. “But, not my type. I don’t think he’s into guys like that, anyway.”

Buffy hummed. “Marty then?” she suggested with a slight edge to her voice.

T.J. laughed. “I’d never take him away from you, Driscoll.”

“Oh my god, stop!” Buffy kicked his leg but at least she was laughing now.

T.J. felt lighter… much lighter. It was a feeling that followed him every time he had come out to someone he cared about. One less secret to hide. One step closer to being true to himself. Though, he didn’t know if he could ever tell anyone else about his ability to see ghosts, at least they knew this other part of him that was just as important.

And, furthermore, he didn’t know if he could tell Buffy or the others about his crush on Cyrus, their comatosed friend whose spirit T.J. could see. Like that would go over well...not.

Something must have shown on his face because Buffy nudged him again.

“But… there is someone?” she asked, gently this time.

T.J. let out a staggered laugh. “Yeah… kind of.”

“Who is he? Is he here?”

T.J. shook his head. “He… uh… doesn’t go to our school.”

It was kind of true.

Buffy made a soft noise of disappointment. “That’s too bad. I would have loved to meet him.”

“To scare him away from me?”

Buffy snorted. “I wouldn’t do that!”

She might if she knew who it was. After all, she was quite protective of her friends.

Sighing as his mood dampened, T.J. shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t even know if he feels the same way.”

“He’s not gay?”

T.J. hummed. “He is. Just… he probably just sees me as a friend. A really good one. Who occasionally flirts with him.”

“You can flirt?!”

“Shut up!” He nudged her elbow as she cackled. “I don’t know. I want to tell him but… I’m scared of rejection. I mean… he’s so smart and nice and great and I’m just… me.”

For a moment, Buffy only looked at him, lips pursed in thought.

T.J. never thought the day would come when he would end up talking about a crush with someone other than his sister. And he was well-aware that Buffy was, in a way, allergic to talks about relationships and feelings, but he appreciated her listening to him, all the same.

“Well, here’s some advice someone else gave me,” she finally said, flashing him a pointed look before smirking. “If you don’t make a move now, you might regret it.”

T.J. rolled his eyes at her antics. “Gee, I wonder who said that.”

Buffy laughed. “If it works out, let me know. Maybe I’ll do the same thing.”

That was surprising. Yet, T.J. couldn’t help but feel grateful.

He and Buffy spent the rest of the party talking until the girl was pulled away to dance with Andi and Libby. Eventually, he, too, was enticed by their high energy and ended up awkwardly dancing along with them to zero judgment.

Cyrus was right. Of course, he was.

T.J. really did have a ton of fun.

* * *

When he and Amber arrived home, he not only had a party hat on his head but also a feather boa wrapped around his neck. Amber was decked head to foot in glitter and sequins, a plastic tiara on her head. She bid him goodnight in a sing-song voice before dancing to her room and shutting the door behind her.

He stared after her in confusion before shaking his head and entering his own room.

Cyrus was sat on his bed, reading one of his books. He looked up when T.J. closed the door and grinned at his get-up.

“Oohh, you look festive! How was the party?”

T.J. sank down on the bed next to him, the fatigue of the party catching up to him.

“Tons of fun,” he replied, taking off the hat and feather boa before lying flat on his back and closing his eyes. “You were right. Andi throws the best parties. I think I probably danced more than I’ve ever danced in my entire life. I’m so exhausted.” He opened his eyes and saw Cyrus watching him with a fond smile. “I wish you were there. You should have come.”

“I could have,” Cyrus admitted with a nod. “But… it’s not like I can talk to anyone else aside from you, right? And, it would be a waste to show off my cool dance moves if no one else can see it.”

“Maybe at Andi’s next party.”

Cyrus sighed and looked away. “Yeah. Maybe.”

Even if he wanted to continue lying down and possibly just go to sleep, T.J. pushed himself up.

“So… I came out to Buffy.”

Cyrus’ head snapped over to him, eyes wide. “Really? How did it go?”

“Good. Really good.”

Cyrus smiled. “Buffy is one of the most trustworthy people I know. When I came out to her, she didn’t make me feel like I was different.”

T.J. had felt the same way. In fact, she left him thinking quite a lot about him and Cyrus…about how he felt about the other boy.

“I… uh… also told her about… the guy I like,” he said as casually as he could, taking a peek at the ghost from the corner of his eye.

Cyrus seemed to have stiffened, his smile diminishing a little. “Oh? You like someone? Y-You…” His voice cracked and he quickly cleared his throat. “You didn’t tell me that you… like someone.” He cleared his throat again. “Who is it? If you don’t mind me asking.”

T.J.’s heart thundered in his chest, he could practically hear it booming in his ears. He wondered if Cyrus could hear it. His cheeks felt pretty flushed too and his palms were suddenly sweaty.

He wiped his hands on his jeans. “I don’t mind… you asking, I mean.”

He swallowed, wracking his head to find the right words. He had never confessed about his feelings before. People made it look so easy in movies and T.V. shows. They never said anything about feeling like you were about to throw up.

“U-Um… So… this guy… I met him, recently,” he began.

Cyrus wasn’t looking at him, choosing instead to stare at the wall across from them, but he leaned close to T.J., intently listening.

“He’s really cute,” T.J. continued, unable to resist the smile tugging at his lips and the little chuckle that followed. “And smart and kind and he makes me feel… like I can do anything. Because of him, I’ve made friends and I’m not as… lonely as I used to be. He made me see parts of myself that I thought were bad things to be good things. And he makes me want to be a better person.”

He finished by releasing a deep breath, his chest feeling lighter, like a weight had been lifted from it.

Meanwhile, Cyrus had turned his head to look at him as he spoke, a look of wonder on his face.

“You really like him, huh?” he stated.

T.J. tilted his head. “I do.”

“He’s a lucky guy.”

“I don’t know about that. He might not like me back.”

Cyrus looked absolutely scandalized for him. “That’s absurd! Who wouldn’t like you, T.J.?! You’re sweet and funny and really nice even if you pretend not to be and you’re really handsome to boot!”

T.J.’s heart skipped a beat. “You think I’m handsome?” he asked, almost in a daze.

In an instant, Cyrus’ cheek appeared to darken. “Y-Yeah…” he stammered. “Of course, you are.” He cleared his throat. “And, if the guy you like doesn’t like you back… Well, he’s missing out on someone great.”

He was just complimenting T.J., that was who Cyrus was. Always so sweet and kind and aiming to make you feel better with his words.

But, T.J. couldn’t stop this flash of hope bubbling inside him. That, maybe, just a little, Cyrus felt the same way as he did.

“You should tell him,” continued Cyrus.

Fear gripped him. “What if he rejects me?”

“What if he doesn’t? You’ll never know. I know all about regrets, T.J. You don’t want chances to slip by you.”

Buffy’s words echoed in his head, encouraging and believing in him. Sure, it had been a jibe but it was also sincere and supportive. Just like Cyrus was being now.

But, Cyrus didn’t know T.J. felt these things for him. What if things change between?

“T.J.? Are you okay?”

Cyrus’ pretty brown eyes were filled with concern for him, T.J.’s prolonged silence worrying him.

He didn’t know where the sudden burst of courage came from but by the time he realized what he was doing, his hand had moved. His fingers slipped in between Cyrus’ own, intertwining the digits that fit like a puzzle. Cyrus’ skin was freezing cold against T.J.’s own clammy ones, but he didn’t want to let go.

His simple little action caused Cyrus’ eyes to widen and his mouth fall open slightly.

It wasn’t the first time they’ve held hands, but this one meant something different. It was an answer, a question, and a confession all at the same time. 

T.J. knew the boy was a bit oblivious sometimes, but surely, he was smart enough to figure out what T.J. holding his hand meant.

“I’m fine,” T.J. said, softly. “I’m… great.”

He gently rubbed the top of Cyrus’ hand with a thumb and watched as realization dawned upon the other boy’s face. 

Cyrus let out a soft gasp. “T.J….”

The blonde swallowed. “Cyrus… I like you…”

For a moment, the other boy only stared at him, frozen in shock. And, then, T.J. could feel his hold on Cyrus’ hand slipping.

In a panic, he exclaimed, “No! Wait! Don’t disappear! Please!”

Cyrus’ transparent image solidified a bit more as he grounded himself back to Earth and he was still looking at T.J. with wide eyes of disbelief.

“You don’t have to like me back,” the blonde quickly explained himself, in case the ghost decided to disappear again. “I just… wanted to tell you.”

The hand in his hold relaxed a little but was still tense. Cyrus watched him closely, like he was deciphering what T.J. was thinking.

“But… why me?” he finally asked, voice cracking a little. “I’m a ghost.”

T.J. couldn’t resist smiling. “Because you’re you.” He gently squeezed his hand. “Because when I first moved here, I wasn’t sure if I could really begin again. I didn’t have any real friends and I thought giving up on helping ghosts will give me a shot at a normal life. But, then, you appeared and you didn’t want anything from me but friendship. You helped me make friends with your own friends. And you reminded me why I wanted to help ghosts in the first place, no matter how much I complain about it ruining my life. And… well… you’re really cute.”

At that, Cyrus looked down, bashfully, but he was smiling.

“You called me cute when we first met, too,” T.J. pointed out, teasingly.

Immediately, Cyrus let out a strangled sort of noise. “No, I didn’t!” he denied.

T.J. laughed. “Yes, you did! You said, ‘Hey, you’re kinda cute.’”

“I-I… T-That wasn’t… I-I meant…”

“For the record, I thought you were kind of cute, too.”

Where did that confidence come from? Not that T.J. was complaining because his words seemed to have struck Cyrus speechless again.

“I… T.J….” The ghost bit his lip before sighing. “I’m a ghost.”

“Yes, I’m aware.”

“You can’t date a ghost.”

“So… if you weren’t a ghost, you’d date me?”

“I didn’t say that!”

T.J. flashed him a pointed look, amused.

“Okay… I wouldn’t say ‘no’,” Cyrus admitted. “But… the fact of the matter is that I’m still a ghost right now. Dating would be impossible. And if I move on…” He trailed off, a sort of dark gloom falling over him. “I don’t want to do that to you.”

“Things don’t have to change.” T.J. placed his other hand on top of the one he was already holding. “We can just be… us. Like always.”

“Except for the fact that now I know you like me and you know that I like you and...” Cyrus gasped, realizing what he unintentionally revealed.

T.J.’s cheeks burned as his heart soared and butterflies filled his stomach with pleasant fluttering that also kind of made him want to throw up.

Cyrus liked him!

“You like me,” he breathed out.

Cyrus cleared his throat. “Y-Yeah…”

“Wow. I did not expect that.”

“Me neither.”

Cyrus let out a soft giggle that made T.J. smile. Despite the coldness of the boy’s touch, he only felt warmth.

All those months of quietly admiring and liking the ghost as he made sense of his feelings…all the work and research he did to help him…all the little hints of something more in T.J.’s every word had led to this moment…he felt like flying.

“So… what now?” Cyrus quietly asked, playing with T.J.’s fingers.

Now… he didn’t know. He never really thought he would get this far with Cyrus. And, clearly, neither did Cyrus.

“The fact of the matter right now is that I’m still a ghost. And when I move on, it will only hurt you.”

“Unless, I find a way to get you back to your body, at last.”

Cyrus opened his mouth as if to argue but thought better of it and just stayed silent.

T.J. had to admit, he felt kind of lost now. The dilemma of their situation is heavier than he imagined. This wasn’t like the movies, at all. It was difficult and there were many factors to consider. 

Either way, both he and Cyrus could end up heartbroken.

“I don’t want things to change between us,” he confessed.

Cyrus squeezed his hand. “Me neither.”

T.J. swallowed. “So… like I suggested earlier. We can just be us. And the whole… moving on thing… we’ll figure it out when we get there. But, for now, we can just act the same as we always do. We’re friends, after all. What do you think?”

Finally, Cyrus smiled before leaning his head against T.J.’s shoulder. “Avoiding heartbreaking situations is my forte.” He peered up at T.J. with a soft smile. “I like you.”

His tone was soft and resigned with a hint of sadness underneath the affection.

T.J. could only hold his hand tighter and never wanted to let go. “I like you, too.”

Yes… they would both be heartbroken.

* * *

They did continue to act the same as they always did. Except, now, of course, they both knew they liked each other. And the little touches, the fleeting looks, and the sweet words held a whole new meaning for them.

T.J. didn’t dare do more than just hold his hand and Cyrus still liked to press up against his side whenever they watched movies. They still talked a lot about how they spent their days, shared stories, and teased each other.

T.J. told Amber everything that happened, even though he knew she disapproved (she was his sister, of course, he would share his joy with her). He could often catch her him staring at him in worry when she thought he wouldn’t notice.

And, T.J. would also be lying if he said he wasn’t happy. He was so incredibly happy! Just knowing that Cyrus felt the same way as he did about him made everything so much better.

Cyrus, too, looked happier. He was always smiling from the very first moment they met but, after their mutual confession, he smiled so much more now. He looked less guarded and less lonely and he no longer hid the moments when he would just look at T.J. with obvious affection.

T.J. was happy.

But, he should have known by now that happy moments can make you forget that sad moments can follow.

Or, in his case, truly heartbreaking moments.

A month or so had passed since the confession and the day began like any other ordinary day. Cyrus was out, doing whatever it was he liked to do in his solo ghost time. T.J. was at home, playing video games in the living room.

His phone beeped with an oncoming message and he paused his game to look at it.

It was from Buffy, sent to their group chat with Andi and Jonah: EMERGENCY. MEET AT THE SPOON AT 12.

The wall clock said it was now 11:30. He wasted no time getting dressed.

“Mom! Amber! I’m going to The Spoon!” he called out as he ran out through the front door.

With his hood over his head, T.J. walked to the diner. He tried not to break into a run, using the walk to think about what was wrong. 

What was the emergency that had Buffy going caps lock on them?

Naturally, since he practically sped out the door when he got the text, he was the first one there. He slid into their usual table and waited. Five minutes later, Andi arrived followed by Jonah. Neither of them had any idea what was going on either.

Finally, Buffy arrived, running through the door looking panicked. She found them immediately and ran right over.

“Guys, I have awful news!” She slid into the booth next to Andi. Her hands were shaking and her eyes looked teary, like she would break into tears at any moment.

“Buffy! Breathe!” Andi tried to calm her down by taking her hands. “What’s wrong?”

The girl opened her mouth and a soft sob came out. She took a deep breath, trying to get her bearings together.

“I went with my dad to the hospital this morning, he had an appointment,” she said, voice a little shaky. “So, I figured I’d visit Cyrus for a bit since it’s been a while because of all the holidays and school craziness and stuff. I talked to his parents and they told me….” 

She couldn’t seem to go on.

Dread filled T.J. as he watched the normally strong-willed girl struggle to talk. His own hands were shaking and beside him, Jonah’s knee wouldn’t stop moving.

“What’s going on Buffy?” Jonah whispered. “What did they say?”

Buffy’s lip wobbled and she bit them to try and hold back her tears. But, in the end, her emotions won.

“They told me… they’re going to take Cyrus off life support.”

And, just like that, the world came crashing down.


	12. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Honestly, this was such a hard chapter for me to write cause it’s so emotional, but I knew I had to keep going to finish it.
> 
> Again, thank you to everyone who read and supported this story. There’s still an Epilogue after this, but this is the final chapter of “Lost Boy” and I’m so happy to have made it here.

It felt like all the air had been knocked out of him. He couldn’t breathe. There was a strange ringing in his ears that refused to quiet down. Across from him, Buffy was still talking but her voice sounded distant, like an echo.

It was Andi’s piercing shriek that broke the barrier.

“They can’t do that! Cyrus is still alive! They just… They can’t!”

Beside T.J., Jonah had started shaking. “Why would they do that to Cyrus?” he asked, quietly.

Buffy shook her head, tears freely streaming down her face now. 

“They told me that it was time to let him go and…I don’t know. I ran off before they could tell me more. I just couldn’t… I had to… And then I texted you, guys. I… What are we going to do?”

“We can’t lose Cyrus!” Andi sniffed, also crying now. “We just can’t! Why isn’t he waking up?! He needs to wake up! We can’t…”

While all this happened, T.J. hadn’t moved an inch. Hadn’t said a word.

How could he when his world just fell apart?

He had promised to help Cyrus.

He swore to get him back to his body.

He had been confident that he could.

Yet, he failed.

He failed.

* * *

Cyrus wasn’t home yet when he arrived. T.J. thanked whatever higher power was above for that because he needed a moment to himself. To think. And maybe cry. He couldn’t cry in front of the others. They might think it was strange that he was crying for someone he supposedly barely knew.

He avoided Amber, not in the mood to hear another one of her lectures or to be scrutinized under her hard gaze.

He buried himself under his blanket, pressing his face against his pillow. It didn’t take long for the hot tears to follow, dampening his pillow, but T.J. made no noise.

He rarely cried, he was too proud for that. But, in the rare moments that he did, he preferred to do it in hiding. And quietly.

He didn’t know how long he laid there crying, but the tears eventually stopped. Soon, he simply rolled over onto his back, staring blankly at the ceiling. His mind was in turmoil.

Should he tell Cyrus? Should he not tell Cyrus? What else could he do to prevent it? Who else could he turn to for help? Surely, he wasn’t the first person to see ghosts who wanted to bring a spirit back into a body, right? Wasn’t there a Facebook group for everything right now? Maybe he just hadn’t looked hard enough.

“Hi! I’m back!”

Slowly, T.J.’s head swiveled to the side to see Cyrus standing by his bed, grinning in content joy.

The ghost took one look at his face before his smile diminished into concern. 

“What’s wrong?” he immediately asked.

For a beat, T.J. wondered if Cyrus knew. He was gone almost the whole day and he tended to visit his parents, who were often at the hospital with his body. Was he fully aware of what was going to happen and was just trying to protect T.J. from the knowledge?

Pushing himself up to sit, T.J. asked, “Where did you go today?”

Even though he looked surprised at the sudden question, Cyrus answered anyway.

“I went for a walk, at the park. Then, I went to the hospital to see my folks.” He pursed his lips, as if recalling something that confused him. “They were a little glummer than usual.” He furrowed his brow at T.J. “Why do you ask?”

A lump had formed in his throat and T.J. painfully swallowed it. 

“Do you know?” he asked, softly.

Sitting on the bed, Cyrus continued to look confused. “Know what?”

If he knew, he would try to deflect. He would do everything he could to protect T.J. from the truth. 

“Cyrus… if you know… please tell me.”

“I… don’t know? What’s going on?”

But, there was one thing about Cyrus that T.J. knew – he couldn’t lie. He could hide the truth or bend it, but he couldn’t tell a full-on lie. He really had no clue what was going on. He had no clue that his parents had finally reached their limit.

“T.J., what’s wrong?”

The ghost placed a hand over his and T.J. wasted no time entwining their fingers, grasping the cold appendage, tightly.

“Cyrus…” His voice cracked and he had to clear his throat to make room for his voice to come out. “Your parents…”

He couldn’t look at the ghost, couldn’t meet his eyes and see them fall. But, Cyrus had to know. He had every right to know.

He swallowed again, bracing himself. 

“When I met up with Buffy and the others today, she said she went to see you this morning when she went with her dad to the hospital.”

His voice was soft, almost like a whisper. Cyrus had leaned closer to hear him.

“Your parents… they told her that they’re…” He forced himself to say the words, spitting them out like a flavorless gum he no longer wanted. “They’re taking you off life support.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears stinging at his eyes to not fall. Not in front of Cyrus. This one piece of vulnerability was not something he wanted to share with him. Not right then. He had to be strong.

“Oh.”

T.J.’s eyes flew open, his head swiveling to Cyrus who looked… calm?

The ghost didn’t look upset or shaken or any other negative emotion T.J. was feeling.

When he noticed T.J.’s gaze, he simply smiled. 

“It’s about time,” he continued.

“About… Cyrus, they’re taking you off life support!”

“It’s been more than a year. They should have done it a long time ago.”

“Cyrus!”

Was Cyrus legitimately trying to commit suicide now?! The first time was an accident but this?!

But the ghost was not bothered by his anger. Instead, he tightened his hold on T.J.’s hand.

“If I was really meant to come back, I would have, already. This is a sign, T.J. I’m not meant to be alive anymore. Maybe… this is what I need to move on. For my parents to let me go.” He bit his lip. “For all of you to let me go.”

T.J. shook his head in denial. “No. I can’t. No way. We are not letting you go.”

“What if… that’s what I want?”

T.J.’s breath caught in his throat.

“Would you deny me?”

T.J. let out a strangled sob but couldn’t find the words. He knew he was selfish.

Cyrus knew it, too. Yet, there was no resentment in his gaze. Only patience and a silent request for understanding.

To please understand that this was what he wanted.

His unfinished business.

Suddenly, he couldn’t be there anymore. It was getting harder to breathe and his head was all muddled. He needed to get out.

Standing up, he still couldn’t look at Cyrus as he headed towards his basketball in the corner. He picked it up and tucked it under his arm.

“I… need to be alone,” he murmured before speeding out of his room, leaving Cyrus behind.

He sent a quick text to his mom, telling her that he was going to the park and that he would be home by dinner. Then, he spent god knows how long shooting hoops at one of the basketball courts.

He was all alone and that was the way he preferred it. He didn’t think, just moved. He dribbled, ran, shot at the hoop – everything felt instinctive. It felt good. For the first time since he heard the news, his mind and heart felt less heavy.

He didn’t know how long he was there, shooting hoops. But, eventually, the exhaustion of the day’s emotions caught up with him and he fell back onto the court, breathing heavily as he closed his eyes. His basketball rolled a few feet away, stopping by the base of the hoop.

As he laid, he felt a presence arrive. The sudden cold made goosebumps appear on his skin but he continued to lay there, just waiting.

As his heartbeat slowed to a steady rhythm, the presence finally spoke.

“Are you mad at me?” asked Cyrus’ timid voice.

T.J.’s chest twitched. “No,” he replied, honestly.

“But… you’re not happy… with what I want.”

T.J. sighed, still keeping his eyes closed. “You know why.”

A beat of silence passed.

“I like you, T.J.”

Finally, T.J. opened his eyes, Cyrus’ forlorn face greeting him. 

“I like you, too,” he replied. “That’s why this is hard for me. For everyone.”

Cyrus nodded. “I know.”

“I’m not just upset because of my feelings, you know. You’re my friend as much as Buffy and Andi and Jonah and Marty and everyone else are. I… I can’t lose a friend. You’re important to me. To all of us.”

Cyrus nodded. 

“I know,” he said again before lying down on the court next to T.J. “But…that’s all the more reason why this needs to happen. I’ve been tethered to this earth for so long even though I no longer belong in it. Why do you think ghosts seek you out, T.J.? They want you to help them so they can stop watching the world go by without them. Because as much fun as it is watching everyone else go on about their lives, it’s also painful. Lonely.”

T.J. turned his head to look at him. Cyrus was looking up at the sky, his expression solemn yet peaceful. The late afternoon sun bounced off his face, making him look whiter and paler than he probably actually was if he had a solid body. Reminding T.J. that he was a ghost.

“You have me,” said the blonde, his voice strained.

A faint smile appeared on Cyrus’ face. “I know. But, you’ll age. You’ll grow into an adult, move out of that house, and even if you stay in Shadyside, you’ll still live a different life than you are now. And I can’t follow you for the rest of your life, T.J. You know that.”

It felt like a hand had its grasp around T.J.’s heart because it hurt. The truth hurts.

Cyrus continued, “I know my parents will do everything for me, including selling all their possessions to keep my body alive, but I don’t want them to do that. I want them to move on and continue living their lives the way they’re supposed to.” Finally, he turned his head to look at T.J. “I want that for you and Andi and Buffy and Jonah and everyone else.”

A tear slid down T.J.’s cheek. He didn’t even realize he had started to cry.

Cyrus reached out and linked their fingers together. “And I want you to meet someone you like and who likes you back just as much. I want you to be happy. And, you know, deep in your heart, that that person can’t be me. Not like this.”

T.J. closed his eyes, feeling more tears fall. “I wanted it to be you.” He opened his eyes, meeting Cyrus’ affectionate gaze. “I wish I moved to Shadyside earlier. I wish I met you sooner. I wish things were different.”

Cyrus squeezed his hand. “Me too.” He wriggled closer, wrapping an arm around T.J.’s waist while still keeping a tight hold on his hand. “I want that more than anything.”

But, they couldn’t have it.

* * *

The weeks passed by in a blur.

It was like a gray cloud now hung over their heads, and not just T.J.’s either. 

Although they tried to act normal, Buffy, Andi, and even Jonah (who was always so perpetually happy about everything) moved about in a daze. T.J. could barely look them in the eye at school. Conversations were not as bright or as lively as they used to be before Buffy told them the news.

Marty, Libby, and Walker were told and despite their own longer acquaintanceship with Cyrus, they didn’t share a deep bond with him in the same way Andi, Buffy, and Jonah did. Nevertheless, they tried to bring back a sense of normalcy to their group but it was difficult.

Meanwhile, T.J. knew he had to hide his own solemn feelings because his friends didn’t know of his own friendship with Cyrus. He couldn’t tell them. After all, they knew Cyrus longer, loved him deeper, and had a bond with him that T.J. could never hope to match up. Yet, he shared their sadness and pain – they mistook it for him commiserating with them, which they appreciated.

And Cyrus…

Cyrus stayed the same, if not a little more affectionate. He was still the first face T.J. often woke up to, who wished him a good day at school and welcomed him home. Cyrus still helped him study and with his homework when he was struggling. He cuddled up to T.J. whenever they watched a movie and cracked more corny jokes that T.J. always smiled at.

Cyrus was trying to make things be as normal as possible.

“I like you,” T.J. would often say to him, randomly.

He didn’t know where the sudden bursts of confidence came from but it only felt right to remind Cyrus that his feelings hadn’t changed despite their current circumstances.

And the ghost would beam, affectionately, and respond with, “Yeah? I like you, too.”

For a while, that was enough.

T.J. kept telling himself that it was enough.

No one knew when the Goodmans were planning to do it. Well, more like no one had the guts to visit the hospital to ask them. T.J. thought about volunteering himself several times (it should be easy, right? He had done stuff like this loads of times and more back in San Francisco). But, as soon as he thought of it, his chest would ache and he would lose his nerve.

In the end, it was Andi’s mom who found out for them.

Andi solemnly arrived at the cafeteria where they were having breakfast and said, in the softest voice they had ever heard her use, “They’re doing it two weeks from Friday.”

Everyone froze, looking at her like she just told them the world was ending today. Perhaps, it was because, for them, Cyrus was part of their world. And in two weeks, he would no longer have a physical body to give them hope that he would return.

Two weeks.

They only had two weeks.

And when he told Cyrus… the ghost took it well.

Of course, he did.

“We have to make the next two weeks the best time then!” he piped.

T.J. had to force a smile but, nonetheless, brought the shorter boy closer into a tight hug and didn’t let go for a long time.

* * *

Two weeks passed by in a blink of an eye.

One day, T.J. was joking with Cyrus while on the swings during one of his morning runs and they were happy and laughing, watching little Victoria play her game from the corner of their eyes.

The next, he was solemnly nodding at Andi’s plan to go to the hospital to see the Goodmans after school on the Friday they were to… pull the plug.

Cyrus had seen him off to school with a much tighter hug than usual, knowing that T.J. needed it (he almost didn’t want to let go).

He could barely concentrate that day in class (which was kind of bad because he had an English quiz). For the first time, he willed the school day to go slower, not wanting it to end.

More time.

Just a little more time.

By the time he managed to get back into his head, he was sitting in the back seat of Andi’s mom’s minivan, being driven to Shadyside Memorial Hospital. It was a quiet ride. No one spoke or bothered to turn on the radio. 

When they arrived, T.J. numbly followed his friends to the elevator up to the 4th floor, down the hall of rooms, and reaching the familiar door.

They were silently allowed in by Sharon, Cyrus’ stepmother.

The room was fuller than it usually was.

During their past visits, it was always two parents max, watching over Cyrus. Now, all four of them were there. The room wasn’t tiny by any means but with four adults and four teenagers standing by the bed with Cyrus’ pale form, it felt like they were all squished together. The atmosphere, itself, was heavy and solemn, like they were already grieving.

Everyone knew what was going to happen. And T.J. hated it.

On the bed, Cyrus lay, immobile. Everyone silently stared at him, as if they were all waiting for him to move. To open his eyes and smile at them. To give them more time with him.

_Cyrus, please,_ T.J. begged in his mind._ Please wake up._

But Cyrus didn’t move. Not a muscle.

A sob reached his ears and it took him a second to realize that it came from Buffy. She and Andi had moved to Cyrus’ side while Jonah was on the other, standing with Norman, Cyrus’ father.

T.J. chose to remain by the door.

“Cyrus, now would be a good time to wake up,” Andi pleaded, taking the boy’s hand and holding it. The bracelet she had made him months prior was still wrapped around his wrist. “Please… Please…”

_Please,_ T.J. echoed in his mind.

Cyrus continued to sleep, unmoving.

An hour passed. Then two.

Sometimes, it was quiet. Sometimes, someone spoke – either sharing a fond memory or another plead for Cyrus to wake up that went unheeded.

T.J. willed time to stop, praying for a being out there to listen to him and answer his deepest prayers.

But, when Leslie stood up, they knew they had run out of time.

That this was truly the last time.

One by one, they hugged Cyrus’ parents. The adults wished them all well, thanking them for everything and the gratitude was returned, likewise.

“T.J.? You coming, dude?”

Jonah’s voice broke through his thoughts.

It was only then that he realized that he hadn’t moved at all. He was still standing by the door, staring at the occupied bed, and he hadn’t said a single word to anyone since they arrived.

He forced his voice out but it still cracked as he stated, “Give me a minute.”

He didn’t look to see how they reacted as he walked up to Leslie.

“Mrs. Goodman,” he croaked. “I… I’m sorry…”

_I’m sorry for not fulfilling my promise to Cyrus. I’m sorry I couldn’t bring him back. I’m sorry. I’m sorry._

The woman smiled, softly, at him. “Thank you.”

T.J. swallowed. “I… I mean… Andi and Buffy and Jonah… They don’t want to lose Cyrus like this. Do… Do you have to… I… I’m sorry… It’s just…”

“We know,” she replied, her eyes (so very much like Cyrus) shining with tears she didn’t want to shed yet. “Cyrus… he’s a special boy. I know every parent would say that about their child but he truly was.” She let out a humorless chuckle. “As a child of divorce, we thought this whole arrangement would damage him. But, he took it all in stride and he remained a kind and good son to all of us. And as his mother…”

Here, she drifted off, suddenly trembling. Her husband, Todd, stood up from where he was sitting on the couch and walked over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. It seemed to give her strength as she continued.

“As his mother, I don’t want to let him go. But, I love him and he’s been suffering. So, even if it pains me, I have to. It’s… it’s time for us let him go.”

T.J.’s eyes stung but he held back the tears that threatened to fall.

“I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

He couldn’t find any other words.

* * *

When T.J. arrived home from the hospital, he couldn’t take the final steps to open his door and enter his room. He couldn’t face Cyrus, knowing that this time, the boy’s death was final.

What was going to happen to him? To them?

A shuffling down the hall let him know that his mom was in her room and she would probably come out at some point and ask him why he was standing outside his room instead of going in.

Swallowing, he bravely placed his hand on the knob and turned it. The door swung open and he forced his legs to step inside. The first thing that caught his eye was Cyrus’ pale figure standing by the window, looking out into the backyard.

He spun around as T.J. entered the room and closed the door.

He beamed. 

“Your mom’s doing a really good job with Sharon’s flowers,” he stated, casually. “I was a bit worried the new owner wouldn’t take care of them the way she did.”

T.J. shrugged as he gently tossed his backpack to the side. “Mom’s always wanted a garden.”

Still smiling, Cyrus pulled away from the window and approached him. Wordlessly, he took T.J.’s hands in his, squeezing gently. He looked at T.J.’s face, his eyes moving about like he was silently mapping it in his mind. And T.J. couldn’t help but do the same.

He took in the fluffy brown hair that he loved running his hands through. The brown doe eyes that always sparkled with joy and a sweet kind of innocence. The cute button nose that scrunched up when confused and flared when annoyed. The pink full lips that would sometimes distract T.J. whenever Cyrus talked on and on about one thing or another.

He relished the feel of the gentle hands holding his, despite their coldness. He always wondered how they feel like when warm with life. He would never know. 

Yet, he wouldn’t change it for anything, if Cyrus would just stay.

T.J. wanted to get to know him more. He wanted to show more of himself to him as the years went by. He wanted to go through every life change and accomplishment with Cyrus cheering him on and him cheering for Cyrus. He wanted him to know everything.

Swallowing the dry lump in his throat, T.J. barely got the words out.

“Thelonious… Jagger…”

Cyrus blinked, confused.

T.J.’s lips twitched into a small smile. “My name. My real name.”

“You told me your name,” Cyrus beamed, delighted.

“I wanted you to know,” T.J. replied and found that he meant it. “My parents named me after their favorite artists. My grandparents thought it was ridiculous, though.”

“It’s not.” Cyrus linked their hands together. “It’s unique. Like you. I love it.”

T.J.’s chest tightened. Of course, Cyrus would love it. He was amazing like that. He never failed to make T.J. feel like he was important and that nothing was wrong with him – not his dyscalculia, not his ability to see ghosts, and not even his name. And the best part was that he was always sincere.

“Did you know… that you’re the most amazing ghost I’ve ever come across in my entire life?” he managed. “I don’t think any other ghost will come close to you. You’re the best ghost in the world.”

Cyrus’ cheeks darkened but he looked pleased, nonetheless. “Well, you made ghost life a lot less boring and lonely than it was before you moved into my house. I’ll always be grateful to you for that.”

T.J. blinked his tears away. “I wanted to save you… I’ve helped many ghosts with their unfinished business and move on. But you… I wanted to save you and bring you back… But, I failed.”

“You did your best. But, there are things in life that we have no control over, especially death. We can’t control that. But, T.J., you still have an amazing gift. Seeing ghosts and helping them… that’s a part of you and you should be proud. You helped many ghosts. You helped me. And I know you’ll continue to help because you have a good heart, a kind heart. And that’s… that’s what I love about you.”

Love.

T.J.’s heart fluttered in his chest.

Sure, he didn’t know if Cyrus meant love as in love or love as in _LOVE_ but, nonetheless, it made him happy. It was the first spark of happiness he felt all day and he wanted it to stay.

In front of him, Cyrus continued to hold his hand and gazed at him with deep affection.

“For the first time since I accepted that I was dead… I wanted to come back. I wanted to be alive again so I can get to know you and spend more time with you and just… live a life with you in it.” Cyrus’ eyes shimmered with tears he couldn’t physically shed. “I want to live.”

T.J.’s heart slowly fell apart. He wanted that, too. He wanted it so much. He did everything he could to make it happen but nothing worked. 

Why wouldn’t the universe just give Cyrus back to them? To him?

“T.J… Something’s happening…”

The cold touch in his was slowly disappearing. In fact, the weight of Cyrus’ hand felt lighter.

He looked down at their entwined hands and he felt his heart stop.

Cyrus’ hand looked translucent.

And it was slowly getting more and more see-through.

He looked up to see the same thing happening to Cyrus’ distressed face.

“C-Cyrus…” T.J. choked out, his chest tightening with pain. “No… no, no, no, this shouldn’t be happening…”

“T.J….”

“No! I can’t lose you!”

Cyrus flashed him a strained and sad smile. “It’s time… You have to let me go.”

A choked sob escaped T.J.’s throat. “I can’t…”

He pulled Cyrus towards him, wrapping him in his arms in a tight hug, never wanting to let go. He could already feel his form slipping. There was no solidness, no weight - he was like a cup slowly being drained of water.

“It will be okay. I promise.” Cyrus’ voice was soothing but it was starting to sound distant.

Gently, he began to pull away from T.J. but didn’t step away. Instead, he cupped T.J.’s face with both hands, gazing at him. Memorizing him.

“You made the last year of my time here one of the best and I would never forget it. But, now, you have to promise me that you’ll move on. Promise me that you’ll live your life to the fullest?”

T.J. couldn’t help the sniffle that accompanied the tear that fell from his eye as his chest continued to squeeze everything out of him. 

“What will happen to you?”

“I don’t know. But, I’m not scared. I’m happy. You made me happy.” 

Cyrus was still smiling.

“You, too. You made me happy, too.”

Green eyes met brown ones.

“Promise me? That you’ll be happy? Because you deserve it.”

“I’ll try.”

“T.J….”

He sighed. “So annoying,” he blurted out without any malice, doing his best to hide his pain as he nodded. “I promise.”

Cyrus, not taking any offense to his jibe, smiled before leaning in. T.J. felt him kiss the spot near his lips, the touch light and feathery, but it left tingles across his skin and made the butterflies flutter in his stomach. 

Before he could return the gesture, Cyrus’ hands slipped from his – they were fully transparent now.

In fact, all of him was transparent.

The butterflies disappeared in a puff of smoke made of dread. T.J. felt the panic grip him, not ready yet to let him go. He tried to grasp at the boy but his hands only met air.

“Thank you, T.J.”

“Cyrus…”

With one last peaceful smile filled with so much affection and adoration, Cyrus faded away.

And T.J. was all alone.

* * *

A week passed.

Then, two.

It felt like a dream, actually.

T.J. still woke up, went to school, went to basketball practice, went home, did homework, watched a movie or played video games, and went to bed.

But, it all just felt mechanical. Routine. Autopilot. He knew what he was supposed to do. And his body and brain did the work for him.

But, his heart… it felt like it had died.

His friends acted the same. They didn’t talk about it much.

Andi always looked like she was on the verge of bursting into tears and often kept her hands occupied with a bracelet or two. Buffy was holding it together pretty well, but only just so, and even Marty couldn’t coax a banter out of her. And Jonah was quiet, his perpetual smile absent from his lips.

Before Cyrus, T.J. never really got what people meant when they say your world loses its color when you lose someone. Now, he finally understood. 

They waited for the Goodmans to call them and let them know about funeral arrangements. But, the days passed and not a word from them.

Buffy stopped by their place one day to ask for the information in person but no one had been home.

T.J. wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or bad thing that they couldn’t even see Cyrus off. He knew the Jewish funeral rites were different. Maybe he wasn’t allowed to because he wasn’t Jewish? He hadn’t really tried to find out.

He was too gloomy to really do much of anything else.

He thought he hid it pretty well, but he should have known better. From the moment he met Cyrus, all of his walls had come down. And, now, they were down for all to see.

He was at home, one Saturday morning, just lying on his bed and boredly playing a piano game on his phone when a knock broke him out of his absentminded thoughts. He paused his game and looked up to see his mom coming in.

“Hi, honey.” She walked over to him as he sat up. She settled on the bed and flashed him a worried look. “Are you feeling okay?”

T.J. shrugged. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Well… I noticed the last few days you’ve been kind of quiet… a little sad… and, plus, your sister has been pacing outside your door for the past ten minutes so I know she’s worried about something related to you.” She placed a hand on his leg. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know, mom.”

He allowed himself a brief moment of being a child again and leaned forward to wrap his arms around his mother. He wanted to tell her so badly. About Cyrus. About his abilities. About everything.

But, he couldn’t. He wasn’t brave enough.

Someday, he would. But, right now, all he wanted was her hug.

“Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“When Grandma died, was I sad?”

“Hmm? Don’t you remember?”

“Just a little. But, it’s kind of a blur.”

She pulled away from him and smoothed out his hair. “You were very upset. You kept asking for her. And it was so hard to explain because you were so young.”

“But… eventually… I moved on… Right?”

She smiled at him. “Yes. We all did. It wasn’t easy. But, we did.” She flashed him a questioning look now. “What brought this on?”

T.J. shook his head. “I was just thinking about her, that’s all.”

His mother didn’t believe him, he knew that she didn’t. She could read him well. Nonetheless, she nodded and patted his leg before getting to her feet.

“Want me to send your sister in?”

He released a soft chuckle. “Yeah. Might as well get what she wants to say over with.”

She nodded.

Amber was, predictably, waiting by the door, wringing her hands in worry. Their mother patted her arm and nodded, letting her know that it was okay, before walking off.

Amber hesitated by the door before squaring her shoulders and walking in.

“Move.”

She pushed him to the side of his own bed before plopping down and stretching out, crossing her legs at the knees.

For a moment, they were both silent.

T.J. couldn’t bear to pick up his phone and play his game again. From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of his desk. It disturbingly lacked the presence of someone sitting on it.

Some days, he could still see Cyrus perched on it, swinging his legs as his arms flailed around while he told a story.

“Andi told me everything,” Amber casually stated. “I’m sorry.”

T.J. shrugged.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I know you don’t like him. Didn’t think you would care.”

“You care about him. That’s enough for me to at least know what’s been going on with you.”

T.J. had no answer to that. Just like him, Amber was as stubborn as they come.

“How are you?” she asked, gently this time.

T.J. shrugged.

“There’s no funeral?”

“We think the Goodmans might have left town.” T.J. let out a sigh. “Or they’re avoiding us. I don’t know. But, they didn’t even let us say a final goodbye to Cyrus. At least I got to see him before… but, Andi and the others…”

Amber hummed. “That is a little weird. Maybe they want it to be a family thing?”

“Andi, Buffy, and Jonah are practically family to Cyrus. I don’t get why even they weren’t told.” T.J. sighed again. “It doesn’t matter anymore. He’s…”

He couldn’t get the rest of the words out, reminded by the pain in his chest, a whole that seemed to not grow any bigger yet not getting smaller either.

Suddenly, Amber slid off the bed. “Let’s get out of here.”

He blinked, owlishly, at her in question.

“It’s stuffy in here,” she continued. “Let’s go somewhere. The park? You can play basketball and I’ll cheer you on.”

Sounds tempting but T.J. wasn’t up for basketball (a shocker, yeah). So, he just shook his head.

Amber pursed her lips, not giving up. “Well, where do you want to go? I’ll let you decide.”

If he was honest, T.J. didn’t really feel like going anywhere. He would rather stay home, locked in his room. Maybe a small part of him continued to hope that Cyrus’ parents changed their minds and the ghost would appear in his bedroom again.

But, many days had passed and no hide nor shimmer of the boy appeared.

He was gone.

Cyrus was gone.

“T.J.?”

He looked up at his sister. “Let’s go to the park. I want to go on the swings.”

* * *

The creaking of the swing’s chain was loud in his ears as the wind ruffled through his hair. The sky was blue and clear that day. From a distance, he could hear the sounds of children playing and having the time of their lives.

“Do you remember when dad left?” Amber’s voice broke out among the throng of noise.

T.J. didn’t stop kicking his legs, going higher and higher. “Not really.”

He was only 4 back then and Amber was 5. He knew what his dad looked like from the photos but other than that, he didn’t really have a clear memory of the man.

“And you have no idea how happy I am that you don’t because I do.”

Unlike T.J., Amber’s swinging was gentle, barely even moving. She simply watched him.

“I remember it clearly. How he walked out the door and out of our lives. For months, I kept asking mom when he was coming back and she never gave me a clear answer. I cried a lot, asking for him and hoping he’d come back. But, he never did. And, eventually, I moved on. And so will you, T.J.”

T.J. dug his feet onto the ground, stopping his movement. He knew she wasn’t talking about their dad.

“I don’t want to forget him,” he said, softly.

“And you don’t have to. The difference between Dad and Cyrus? You had happy memories with Cyrus. And you have those to hold on to while you’re moving on.”

T.J. took a deep breath. 

“It’s hard,” he confessed. “I feel like… we missed out on so much. And of all people, he deserves to live. He had a whole life ahead of him, Ambs. He had a great family and friends who care about him… he should be alive.”

“I know, T.J.” She reached out to put a hand over his. “But, he would want you to move on.”

If it was anyone else, T.J. knew that was something that people only said to make the person mourning feel better. But, in his case, he knew it was something Cyrus wanted. He told him, himself, after all.

_“You have to promise me that you’ll move on. Promise me that you’ll live your life to the fullest?… Promise me? That you’ll be happy? Because you deserve it.”_

“Yeah… you’re right,” was all T.J. could say. “I just… don’t know if I can… right now.”

“Grieving takes time.” Amber patted his hand before pulling back. “So take your time.”

T.J. raised his head and trailed his gaze onto little Victoria. She was still running around her favorite tree, running from an invisible foe before giggling and doing it all over again.

Noticing his gaze, Amber asked in a soft voice, “Is there one here?”

Instead of the usual pit of dread he would feel when dealing with a ghost, T.J. found himself smiling.

“Yeah. A little girl. Her name is Victoria.”

“Aaaand that’s my cue to leave.” The chains clanged as Amber got to her feet. “You know how I am with ghosts of little girls.”

“Ambs?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. I’ll be okay soon. I promise.”

His sister’s face softened and she reached out to ruffle his hair again before she bid him goodbye and walked away.

T.J. kept swinging but, this time, he kept his gaze on the empty swing next to him.

Then, he closed his eyes.

In his mind’s eye, he could see Cyrus’ smile and hear his tinkling laugh as he swung with T.J. They would banter and tease each other, maybe flirt a little. T.J. would make him blush and Cyrus would pretend it didn’t affect him a single bit. They would laugh together and hold hands, their fingers fitting like a puzzle piece. They would be so happy.

T.J. opened his eyes, allowing a tear to fall from his eye before hurriedly wiping it away.

It would take a little work, a lot of time, and some patience. Soon, he would move on. Soon, he would wake up without wishing he could go back under the covers. Soon, the colors will be a little brighter again. Maybe he would meet someone new along the way, someone who made him feel the same way Cyrus did…or maybe he won’t.

But, the one thing he would never do is forget.

He would never forget the movie nights, their trips to the park, the light-hearted conversations and the deep ones, their confessions, the shy smiles, the hand holding – everything.

He would never forget the bright-eyed ghost boy who entered his life and changed the way he saw everything around him, including himself.

But, he had to live.

Just like he promised Cyrus.

He would live his life to the fullest.

He would find happiness again.

Victoria’s giggle pulled him from his thoughts.

Something stirred inside him as he watched her play.

Taking out his phone from his pocket, he put his headphones on and plugged it in. Then, he left the swings and walked over to the tree.

The little girl didn’t pay him any mind.

He cleared his throat.

“Hi, Victoria.”

The girl immediately froze, midway around the tree. She stared at him, eyes wide and mouth open in shock.

He had never spoken to her prior that day, it was always Cyrus who greeted her whenever they were at the park together.

She clutched at the front of her dress, hesitating, before shyly smiling and saying, “Hello.”

He returned the smile and settled himself on the ground, back against the tree.

“Do you want to tell me your story?” he asked her.

Victoria blinked, not quite comprehending what he was asking her.

Nonetheless, she sat beside him, delicately crossing her legs and covering them with her long skirt.

“I like playing here,” she started, beaming. “I used to play tag with my friends here. Or hide and seek. I love hide and seek!”

T.J. felt himself smile and listened to her story. 

He was going to take it one step at a time. 


	13. Epilogue: Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi, guys! Here it is now: the epilogue. Please read this note, first! It’s very important!
> 
> First things first, I want to thank everyone who read, commented, liked/left kudos, and followed this story from beginning to end.
> 
> Second, a couple of things have occurred since the last chapter was posted and I’d like to address them here, now.
> 
> So, I know most of you were unhappy with how I chose to end that chapter but you already knew what you were getting into when you clicked on this story. So, to that one person who was very rude in their comment (you know who you are, if you are still even subscribed to this since I politely asked you to unsubscribe and I’m still kindly asking you not to bother with reading this Epilogue because it’s not for you), this is what I have to say. A writer can choose how to end their story in the way they want, it’s their work and it’s their vision. They worked hard to produce a story and, for an emotional story like “Lost Boy” that’s filled with angst and tragedy, it can take a toll on their own mental and emotional health. I have no problem with constructive criticism, but your comment was not constructive, at all. You have no idea how many times I’ve re-worked this story since last year, the effort and every bit of my own emotions I put on it. So, the fact that you said the things you did makes me believe that you don’t realize all the work it took to create this story you supposedly enjoyed but proceed to insult when it didn’t end the way you wanted. It’s MY story. 
> 
> And, following up on that, if you’re unhappy with how I wrote my stories and you want to write your own version, please, please, please, PLEASE ask me for permission. My story ideas are precious and important to me, as any author will tell you. This is the second time it’s happened and both times, both stories were written without my permission. Even if you credit me in your author notes, which I appreciate, I still want to be asked if I’m okay with it because when it’s sprung up on me, I’m caught off-guard and it upsets me. I want to be able to make that choice to have something I come up with re-written and I won’t pretend I’m okay with it. So, again, please, please, please, PLEASE ask me for permission, it’s only common courtesy.
> 
> And, third, I’ll be taking a short break after this but I will start accepting prompt requests again, soon. You can send them to thinkingabouttyrus on Tumblr.
> 
> With that said, enjoy this Epilogue!

The streets and houses looked the same as he remembered…yet also not the same.

Mrs. Singh’s shrubs are still shaped like birds. The Caranos’ front porch had been re-painted from white to a bright sunny yellow. Mr. Lee’s picket fence was finally fixed. And the Smith’s gnomes still stare stonily right into his soul.

A breeze swept by him and he shuddered, zipping his jacket further up before stuffing his hands into the pockets. He continued down the path to his destination, his gaze swiveling around and taking in his surroundings.

Everything was familiar…yet also not familiar.

After some time, he finally made it to the gray-painted house with the navy-blue roof and white windows. The picket fence surrounding it was still intact and still white.

He couldn’t help the smile that graced his lips as he walked up the path to the front door. His stomach was filled with butterflies and nerves. He kind of felt guilty for being here and almost turned tail and ran. But, no, he was going to do this. He swore to himself that he would.

Raising a hand, he pressed his finger to the doorbell and waited.

It didn’t take long for the door to swing open and reveal a blonde-haired woman, who smiled in a friendly manner upon seeing him.

“Hello. Can I help you?”

“Hello, ma’am. Is this the Kippen household?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Hi, uh, Mrs. Kippen?”

She nodded.

“I’m… Cyrus Goodman. I used to live here?”

She blinked, brow furrowing in confusion before a look of understanding took over. 

“Oh! Goodman! Yes! We bought the house from your parents. Hi, how are you, dear? What brings you here?”

Cyrus chuckled, lightly, his nerves disappearing. “Uh, it’s kind of a long story. But, I was wondering if your son, T.J., was home? He did something for my parents over a year ago and I just came by to thank him, in person.”

“Of course! Come on in!”

She stepped aside and allowed him to enter the home he hadn’t seen in so long.

“He’s up in his room, I’ll go get him,” said Mrs. Kippen before heading up the stairs.

Cyrus took that chance to look around.

Everything was different. The furniture. The photos and paintings on the walls. Even the scent. Instead of the faint aroma coming from the lavender candle that his step-mother Sharon always had lit to relax her patients, there was the unmistakable fresh smell of store-bought Febreze (he just wasn’t sure which one).

He no longer recognized his former home.

A gasp and a glass falling to the floor and breaking caught his ears.

He turned to see a blonde-haired teenage girl, looking at him with wide blue eyes, like she had seen a ghost or something.

He awkwardly lifted a hand to wave. “Hi. I’m Cyrus.”

She continued to stare, her body trembling.

Worried, he asked, “Are you okay?”

“Y-You…” The girl finally found her voice. “B-But, y-you’re…”

Cyrus’ brow furrowed. Did she know him?

“Mom, just tell me who it is,” a new voice reached his ears. 

“I’ll let him introduce himself. Come on, don’t keep your guest waiting.”

Distracted, Cyrus turned his head towards the stairs.

Mrs. Kippen was coming down and behind her was a blonde-haired boy.

Instantly, Cyrus felt his breath catch in his throat and the blood rushed to his cheeks. His palms were sweaty and his heart suddenly decided it wanted to run a marathon.

Tousled blonde hair. Green eyes that reminded Cyrus of freshly cut grass. And a built that definitely screamed “Athlete!”

Damnit, the guy was cute!

This must be T.J., then. His mom definitely did not exaggerate when she told Cyrus the guy was good looking. It wasn’t just her trying to set him up with someone to date.

When T.J. caught sight of him, he froze, eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights and his mouth open in shock.

Cyrus cleared his throat, ignoring the heat in his cheeks. “H-Hi.” He cleared his throat. “Um, T.J.? Right? I’m-.”

“Cyrus,” T.J. breathed and the way he said the name was, strangely, familiar to Cyrus.

Had they met before? But, he was told that the Kippens were new to Shadyside. 

The goosebumps that appeared on his skin confused Cyrus, too.

“You’re Cyrus.” The blonde continued to stare at him. 

Cyrus let out a soft chuckle.

“Yeah. I guess you’ve heard of me? Well, of course, you have! You live in my old house! And staying in my old room! I hope you like it! Wait, of course, you like it! Haha, you chose it, after all. I hope it was comfortable and… uh…”

T.J. blinked, speechless.

Knowing he was rambling by now, Cyrus subtly tried to wipe his hands on the side of his jeans. 

“You gave my parents my journal a year ago. And I just came by to thank you. We just got back, actually.”

“But…how…”

Oh, of course, he wouldn’t know what happened the year before. No one knew. Cyrus had begged his parents to make sure of it.

He nervously ran a hand through his hair. “It’s kind of a long story.”

It was now that Mrs. Kippen decided to intervene. 

“We’re gonna clean this up.” She gestured to the broken glass on the floor by her daughter’s feet. “T.J., why don’t you take Cyrus up to your room so you can talk? But, leave the door unlocked, please.”

To Cyrus’ surprise and curiosity, T.J. turned a deep shade of red.

“Mom!” the blonde almost shrieked.

Cyrus didn’t know why his heart refused to calm down at all. Was he nervous? Maybe a little. But, what did he have to be nervous about?

T.J.’s sister was still staring at him and Cyrus tried to ignore the way her eyes seemed to zero in on his back as he followed the other boy up to the second floor.

When they reached his old room, Cyrus immediately noticed the difference. Instead of the plain old white door Cyrus remembered, rainbow-colored paper that formed “TJ” was stuck on the wood.

(Cyrus’ heart may have skipped a beat. Weird.)

The other room that Cyrus remembered served as a guest room had a paper “Amber” on it.

“Um…come on in.”

T.J. had opened the bedroom door while Cyrus was distracted.

Nodding, he stepped into his old room and was immediately washed by a sense of familiarity and unfamiliarity at the same time. He stopped in the middle and looked around. 

The bed frame was the same, but the sheets and covers were a dark green, instead of Cyrus’ more familiar light blue. His old desk was still being used, filled to the brim with books, papers, pens and pencils, and other knick-knacks.

His inspirational posters had been replaced with photo frames and posters of basketball stars. Hoodies were slung over the chair, the edge of the bed, and the closet doorknob. A basketball sat under the window that overlooked Sharon’s old garden.

It was his room yet also not his room.

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” he commented, walking over to the desk and perching on the edge of it, still looking around. “It doesn’t look like my old room, anymore.”

T.J. let out a kind of choked gasp and Cyrus turned his attention to him, curiously.

The blonde looked pale, his gaze still on Cyrus like he couldn’t decide what to make of him. And, by the look in his eyes, he seemed on the verge of crying.

He didn’t think Cyrus was gonna take away his room, was he? Because that was ridiculous, his parents didn’t even own this house, anymore.

“Are you okay?” he asked, feeling a little worried.

T.J. bit his lip before nodding. “Yeah… I’m fine… You’re here… You’re really here… But, how… I mean, last year…”

Ah, right into the nitty-gritty.

Before Cyrus could begin his explanation, T.J. blurted out, “Can I hug you?” He turned red again before following it up with a shy, “Please.”

He should really be questioning this. T.J. was a stranger. His stranger danger instincts should be on overdrive, as it always was when meeting something new. But, for some odd reason he couldn’t pinpoint, he felt comfortable with the blonde boy. And not just because he was cute.

Despite being shocked and kind of caught off-guard, Cyrus found himself nodding and hopping off the desk. In a few strides, T.J. walked forward until he was standing right in front of Cyrus. He was about a head taller than Cyrus so the latter found himself looking up at him.

T.J.’s green eyes had flecks of yellow. They were really pretty.

Cyrus could feel himself blushing at the thought but before he could even comprehend what was happening, T.J. had raised his shaking arms to go around him but he didn’t touch Cyrus. He was hesitating as if Cyrus was made of glass and T.J. was scared of breaking him.

Finally, after what felt like agonizing long minutes (but were probably only a few seconds), T.J. fully wrapped his arms around him, bringing him close to the firm chest.

Cyrus’ heart started running that marathon again. T.J.’s hug was warm and comfortable and he felt like crying, for some reason. He could feel his eyes stinging with tears but he forced them not to fall.

T.J. hugged him for a long time. Maybe a minute or two passed before he finally let go. Maybe because Cyrus had started squirming a little.

The blonde turned away and sniffled.

Cyrus heard him but decided not to comment. Clearly, T.J. was going through something but it was his decision to tell Cyrus or not. After all, they were strangers.

T.J. finally turned back around, looking sheepish. “Sorry. I… uh… Sorry.”

Cyrus smiled, assuring him that it was okay.

“It’s just… last time I saw you… Your parents were going to take you off life support. And…”

Of course! The last time T.J. probably saw him, he was unconscious to the world. For all he knew, Cyrus had died. And that was kind of Cyrus’ fault to begin with. He had to explain himself.

“Yeah… about that. We should probably sit down.”

He made his way back to the desk and he watched as T.J. hesitated before going to the bed and sitting there, instead.

“So… you were right… they were going to take me off life support,” Cyrus began, swinging his legs to combat his nerves. “But, I woke up. Like… literally, moments before they were gonna pull the plug, I just woke up. The doctors couldn’t explain it. Said it was a miracle but whatever it was, I’m just glad for it. I really like being alive.”

He chuckled a little and T.J.’s lips quirked into a soft smile.

It was a nice smile. Cyrus was momentarily distracted by it until the blonde asked, “Why didn’t they tell us? We were waiting to hear back about… your funeral. Is that why they didn’t say anything? Because there was no funeral?”

Cyrus pursed his lips. “Yeah… that was kind of my fault. I asked them not to tell anyone I woke up.”

T.J.’s eyes widened. “What? Why?”

Cyrus looked back to last year, the moment he opened his eyes to his parents’ tear-stained faces, the shock in their eyes, and his mother’s hysterical screaming for the doctor. The various hands on him, touching and prodding and checking every inch and crevice of his body. The confusion as to why he was on a hospital bed, feeling stiff and sore, his head all fuzzy.

“When I first woke up, it was like waking up from a long nap,” he began to explain. “Except, it wasn’t just a nap. It was all scary and confusing and I thought I was still dreaming for most of it. Until, finally, when everything calmed down, they told me what happened to me. That I was in a coma for more than a year and they thought I was never waking up. They couldn’t explain it. I was brain-dead, only kept alive by the machine. But, the doctors thought they may have made a mistake in the initial diagnosis. It’s rare but it does happen. I guess I got lucky.”

“No one told us,” T.J. stated, sounding hurt. “We waited and we even went to your mom’s house. No one was there.”

“In all the fuss, my mom forgot to give everyone a call.”

Which was a miracle, itself, really. His mom never let an opportunity pass by to talk about the latest happenings. And Cyrus waking up from a year-long coma was definitely something she would talk about.

“I asked her not to say anything, especially to my friends.”

“But… why?”

Cyrus sighed as he closed his eyes. 

“I was ashamed. And embarrassed. And… just… I couldn’t face them after everything.” He opened his eyes to see T.J. staring at him in rapt attention. “You know, when a person first wakes up from a coma, they’re not exactly back to their old selves. It’s kind of like… starting from scratch. Like a toddler learning everything for the first time. I was sedentary and unconscious for a long time and I needed rehab to re-learn basic actions again. Like walking and remembering things. I could talk a little, but it hurt and I had trouble forming long sentences. I think my voice changed but that’s probably just puberty.”

He linked his hands together, clasping them together on top of his knee.

“The doctor recommended a rehab center in L.A. so my family packed up everything and we moved there. They didn’t say anything to anyone else except for close family. Honestly, I feel kind of guilty for not telling my friends but… I just wanted to be a little less… broken… before I see them again.”

Cyrus smiled and hopped off the desk, wincing a little at the ache in his right knee when his foot landed.

“But, I’m back now! And I’m ready to see them again. I mean… I’m not fully recovered. I still have trouble with my memory and my legs give out sometimes… not that it’s any different from how I was before the coma… but, I’m better. Much better.”

For a moment, it looked like T.J. really had no idea how to react to the situation. He was still staring at Cyrus. And Cyrus wasn’t used to cute boys staring at him. It should unnerve him, but he wasn’t uncomfortable, at all.

He couldn’t explain it but there was something about T.J. that made Cyrus feel comfortable, like he was someone he could trust.

“Why did you come here?” the blonde finally spoke up. “I mean… we didn’t know each other.”

“I told you. I wanted to thank you for giving my parents my journal last year. My mom told me everything.”

It made him overly curious about the mysterious T.J. who moved into his dad’s old house, befriended his friends, and helped him come out to his parents.

“I’m sorry,” T.J. quickly said, standing up. “I overstepped my boundaries but it only felt right to give it to them.”

“I know. And you have no idea how much I appreciated that you did that.”

And Cyrus meant it. 

When his mother finally told him and even showed him the journal, he knew he was supposed to feel upset and violated. Yet, instead, he felt at peace. Somehow, a part of him was grateful for the person who allowed his parents to finally see the real him.

“It wasn’t the ideal way to come out,” he admitted. “But, considering the circumstances, I could have died. And my parents would have never known. I know I’d regret it in the afterlife.”

T.J. winced, looking away and staring at the window. He looked upset. Was it something Cyrus said? Maybe he felt guilty for outing Cyrus? He really shouldn’t.

Still, he moved forward and placed a hand over T.J.’s arm, squeezing gently in what he hoped was comforting.

“I’m not mad at you,” Cyrus said. “I appreciate what you did. I swear.”

Finally, T.J. turned back to him, looking worried. “Do you… remember anything from when you were in a coma?”

That was an unexpected inquiry.

Cyrus shook his head as he removed his hand from the other boy’s arm.

“No, not really. Like I said, it was kind of like waking up from a nap.” He furrowed his brows, remembering a few blurry images and a distant yet familiar voice. “I know I dreamed. I definitely dreamed. I just don’t remember what the dream was.”

T.J. blinked and turned away again. “Yeah… I figured.”

There was something sad and melancholic in the tone of his voice. He sounded… heartbroken.

Cyrus was hit with the overwhelming need to wrap him in his arms.

“So… what happens now?” T.J. asked. “Did you tell Andi and the others yet?”

“Not yet. We only got back yesterday so we’re still in the middle of moving in. For some reason, I just... needed to come here and meet you, first, before anything else. But, I asked my mom to call them over to the house this afternoon. My parents decided to live in the same block this time instead of opposite sides of the town, so they can keep a better eye on me. And… I’m kinda nervous to see them. But, excited, too! Definitely excited. I missed them.”

Now, T.J. turned back to him, a small smile playing on his lips. “They missed you, too. You have no idea how much I… they missed you.”

He was really handsome when he smiled. Cyrus hoped they could be friends so he could see it more often.

His phone beeped and when he checked it, he saw a text message from his mother asking him if he was coming home soon. He supposed it was time. He still had some memory exercises to work on. And probably some physical exercises too before the girls and Jonah (hopefully) would arrive that afternoon.

This time, he knew he couldn’t get out of exercising because he needed it if he wanted to make a full recovery.

“I have to head home, now,” he announced, feeling kind of sad.

It was only for a few minutes but he liked hanging out with T.J. He wanted to get to know him more.

To his delight, T.J. offered to walk him home.

“So I can visit you sometime,” he explained.

Cyrus’ heart fluttered and he couldn’t deny the attraction any longer.

Funny. It took him ages to realize he had a crush on Jonah. Not even an hour with T.J. and he was already admitting to it.

As they walked, Cyrus rambled on and on. He talked about L.A. and how much he liked it, the rehab center and the people he met there, and the exercises he had to do to get his motor skills going and his memory to sharpen. He hoped T.J. didn’t mind him talking so much but talking was also a way for him to better his speech skills.

He didn’t realize how little he took for granted simple things such as remembering, walking, and talking before he was unable to do so properly for months. Now, he wasn’t going to waste a single minute of this second chance at life.

He was going to live his life to the fullest.

T.J. didn’t seem to mind him talking so much, at all. In fact, he seemed rather enthusiastic, answering and asking questions in turn. He even told Cyrus that he was originally a California guy, hailing from San Francisco, so he had visited L.A. a few times with his mom and sister. (But, he clearly had a bias for San Francisco.)

“Are you gonna enroll at Grant, then?” T.J. asked him while Cyrus was trying to catch his breath. “You were gonna go there, right? Before the whole… you know.”

Cyrus wondered how much T.J. knew about the circumstances of his coma. Did he know about Cyrus’ mental state back then? Everything that led up to the accident? Most likely, the girls and Jonah told him, but they didn’t know it was an accident either. Even his parents thought that he did it on purpose until he corrected them.

Truth be told, Cyrus wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about it to someone other than his therapist. 

“No, I’m not,” he replied to T.J.’s question. “I’m not fully recovered yet. I’m still going through all the therapies and… well… I don’t think I’m ready to… you know… go back to school and act normal, like nothing happened.”

The thought of having to put on a face and pretend for everyone made a pit form in his stomach.

T.J.’s face fell. “Oh.”

“But, we can still hang out!” Cyrus added, quickly. “I’d love to get to know you better… and be friends!”

He hoped his excitement wasn’t too obvious.

The smile returned to T.J.’s face. “Yeah?”

Cyrus nodded. “Yeah. Definitely.”

Finally, they reached Cyrus’ new home. They must have talked for quite some time because Cyrus barely noticed the minutes flying by. The ache in his knees told him enough, though. 

Now, he was standing in his driveway, not quite wanting to part from T.J. yet. He was really enjoying their talk.

“Um, do you want to come by this afternoon with Andi, Buffy, and Jonah?” he asked. “You didn’t text them, did you?”

Chuckling, T.J. shook his head. “No, of course not. That’s your truth to tell.” He appeared to contemplate his answer. “And as much as I’d like to, I don’t want to impose on your time with them. I mean, I had you this morning. It’s their turn.” Then, he turned red. “I mean, you came by to see me this morning! So, this is their time, you know. And, uh, they’d… really like to see you… Cause I liked seeing you… I mean, to see that you’re okay! And well and… alive. I’m really glad you’re alive.’

Blushing, himself, Cyrus couldn’t stop the little giggle that escaped him. (He was giggling!)

“Thank you,” he said. He bit his lip, feeling shy all of a sudden. “Um… So… I’ll see you around?”

T.J. nodded, his lips upturned into the biggest smile Cyrus had seen all morning. “Definitely.”

A beat passed. Then two.

Cyrus didn’t know what compelled him to or where the courage came from.

But, soon, he found his legs moving forward and, upon reaching the taller boy, his toes lifted him up. He pressed a kiss to T.J.’s cheek.

T.J. let out a soft gasp.

Realizing what he just did, Cyrus stumbled back, horrified hand over his mouth.

“Oh my god! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I’m sorry, T.J.! I didn’t know why I did that! It was too forward of me and I’m so sorry! I’m sure you feel uncomfortable but I swear, I’m normally not like this and-.”

“Cyrus!” T.J. laughed, stepping forward to grasp Cyrus’ hand. “It’s okay! Really!”

Cyrus’ heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. His body was all warm and his lips tingled from where they pressed on T.J.’s cheek.

He had never felt like this before. Not with someone he just met. He didn’t believe in that love at first sight stuff. But, the moment he met T.J., everything just felt so… right.

“You still remember,” T.J. whispered.

Cyrus furrowed his brows. “Remember what?”

But, T.J. shook his head. “Nothing. Sorry. Just… that was a surprise. But, I can’t say I didn’t like it. Cause I did. Like it, I mean.”

T.J.’s hand in his felt nice.

“It’s… strange.” Cyrus gently squeezed the hand. “I feel like I know you so well already even though we just met. I just can’t help but trust you.”

T.J.’s smile was blinding and his eyes twinkled as he gazed at Cyrus. “I know what you mean. Maybe it’s because Andi, Buffy, and Jonah talked about you so much. But, I know that the real thing is a thousand times better.”

God, was he always this smooth?! They only just met and he was making Cyrus feel all kinds of giddy things he had only read about before or watched on T.V. Would it be always like this the more they get to know each other?

“Um… I hope this isn’t too forward but… Are you doing anything tomorrow? Do you want to go out?” T.J. asked.

Cyrus wanted to scream.

Was he still in a coma?! Did the cutest guy he had ever laid eyes on just ask him out on a date?! Just after an hour of knowing him?!

“We could have lunch at The Spoon. Maybe take a walk in the park? You like swings, right? We could go swinging.”

Cyrus forced his voice to come out. “Like… a date?” he croaked.

It was T.J.’s turn to look shy. “Yeah. If that’s okay. I mean, it doesn’t have to be a date. We can just hang out as friends. If you want, we can ask the others to come with us and make it a group thing and… well… yeah.”

His heart really needed to calm down so he could give a proper answer without his voice shaking.

“I’d like that,” he managed. “For it to be a date, I mean.” He cleared his throat and flashed a smile. “I’d love to go on a date with you, T.J.”

And, with those few words, the blonde’s face lit up like a child at Hanukkah.

“G-Great! I mean, awesome!”

He let out a laugh and without warning, he pulled Cyrus into his chest again, wrapping his arms around him.

So, T.J. was a hugger. Cyrus had no complaints about that. He liked hugging. And holding hands (and T.J. was also clearly a hand holder).

When they finally broke apart, both of them were grinning. Cyrus’ cheek hurt from how wide his lips were stretching but he hadn’t felt this happy in a long time.

Quickly, they exchanged numbers.

“So…” said Cyrus.

“So…” T.J. repeated, cheekily. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Cyrus nodded, giddy. “Tomorrow.”

He stepped forward and gave T.J. another hug goodbye before forcing himself to break away and walk to his front door.

When he turned around to catch one more glimpse of the blonde, T.J. was already walking away but right at that moment, he also looked back at Cyrus. Their eyes met and a kind of understanding passed between them.

Cyrus didn’t know what it was, exactly. But, one thing was for sure.

This was just the beginning for them.

All this time, he felt lost.

But, now, he felt like he had been found.

He had a new reason for living. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, there’s that. I hope it was a nice surprise! It took everything in me not to just blurt it out whenever you guys told me how sad you were. But, I hope this was worth it! Again, thank you so much for all your support and for following this story! I’m very grateful! 
> 
> And I hope everyone lives their life to the fullest! Live it with kindness, gratitude, and love!


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